Tim Arrigo talks to men about waiting until crisis forces change. He uses client stories and his coaching program to argue that confronting your barriers now, before life pushes you, is how you build emotional health and spiritual strength.
I just got off a call with two clients today who are actively navigating and traversing a path of divorce, unable to work through the marriage, unable to break the cycles, unable to get their wife to commit to the journey of growth with them. And guess what they both told me? That because of this program, because of this brotherhood, because of this community, because of these tools and what I'm actually doing with myself in this process, with these coaches, with this platform, I'm the happiest I've ever been in my life. And they said that they felt guilt about the freedom that they felt during this time in their life. So many guys, they just look into the external. It's like, well, depending on whether or not the relationship works will depend on if I work on myself. Why is your personal growth always controlled by other people in your life? Why? Do you have to experience consequences in order for you to be intrinsically motivated to change and grow? Bro, do you know your personal development is connected to every area of success in your life? It's connected to your business, connected to your kids, connected to your future, connected to your finances, connected to your health, connected to your mental health, your emotional stability. Our personal growth, our level of success will never exceed our level of personal development. We understand that investing in ourselves and doing work on ourselves is the greatest investment we could ever make in our life. It serves us the greatest ROI ever. Why? Because a lot of times we don't recognize that, yeah, we could get through this, but why not get through it and allow it to be an experience, a catalyst in our life, the fulcrum for something brand new, the 2.0 version of who we are The evolution of who we are as a man, our character, our confidence, our composure, really looking inside and realizing that every man needs a pit stop. Every once in a while, we gotta do open heart surgery and we gotta look at what's there. We gotta put it out on the table. We gotta examine it. We gotta study it, and we gotta recognize what is holding us back. Everyone needs that. Every man needs that. That's how we grow. That's how we become different. That's how we change. But the problem is, as men, is that we're told to not look inside. We're told to not self-examine. We're told to just put on the bravado, put on the front, and pretend like everything's cool, like everything's okay, like I'm fine. Wearing the I'm fine mask, the chameleon mask, the mask of bravado, the overachiever mask, the high-performance mask, but the outside doesn't match the inside. There's no congruency. And bro, don't you know that God's trying to do a work in you through this? Regardless of what happens, regardless of what happens in your marriage, God is trying to work on you and your heart. God is trying to work on you and the elements and aspects of you that hold you back. You got to get out of your own way. And I'm speaking from experience. Because I was in my own way for like 10 years once. But see, that came when I recognized what— I got to stop focusing on everything in my life outside of me that's wrong, because all I'm doing is making a scapegoat out of those things. And I got to start to look at the man in the mirror and the reflection staring back at me, and I got to get real raw and honest about what's really going on. Because if I don't, if I don't, I'm never going to have the life that I want. If I don't, I'm never going to have the relationships that I want. If I don't, then those things are going to continue to operate in my life without my consent, meaning I don't need to think about them for them to affect me. They just show up. And I tell you this, I don't want to be a marionette on a string, and neither do you. I don't want to be a sock puppet to the world and and things that are going on around me. Power is not a position. Power is an experience. Power is an emotion. And if you're facing a Goliath in your life right now, it's time for you to recognize that it's not bigger than you. It's not bigger than your ability to deal with it or face it or resolve it or overcome it. That you are more than a conqueror. And that's your true identity in Christ, that you're more than a conqueror. So if you're more than a conqueror, why you running?
