Tim Arrigo tells a story about a client whose kids suffered from household dysfunction while he delayed getting help. His daughter needed therapy, his son was acting out. Arrigo urges parents to act sooner instead of waiting until damage is done.
Just got off the phone with a client earlier and he told me probably one of the saddest things I've heard all week. And, you know, he told me that because he had waited so long to join the program and invest in himself and actually change his life, that, you know, his kids had been suffering for a while because of a lot of the dysfunction in the house and, you know, creating a high-stress environment because of the arguments between him and his wife. And just, you know, a lot of his self-destructive behaviors that, you know, he thought his kids weren't aware of, but, you know, kids see everything. So he told me that his daughter had to start going to therapy because of a lot of the emotional issues and the distress that I guess she was under because a lot of what she was, you know, a lot of what she witnessed and was exposed to in the environment. You know, because of a lot of the household dysfunction, I guess his son is also experiencing some behavioral problems at school. I guess he's gotten into some altercations with some other kids and I guess he was having, you know, he was acting out as well. So, you know, now he's trying to repair the damage that was caused and he was telling me, he said, Tim, you know, I just feel guilty because so much of this was, I could have fixed this had I acted sooner, you know, because I procrastinated the work I needed to do. I was just waiting and putting it off and inevitably I could have prevented this outcome. And I feel a lot of guilt, you know, because of that. Sometimes we don't realize that, you know, like a lot of what happens in our kids' lives can be prevented if we take the action, right? If we don't keep thinking that our kids aren't suffering or they're not experiencing what we're going through or they don't know or they're not witness to it because they are, right? They are. They're in the environment. They pick up on our energy. They pick up on our demeanor, right? They witness the change and shift in our character. And so I just want to tell you, for all you dads out there, for you moms as well, this goes both ways. Don't wait until it's too late, right? Dads, don't wait until it's too late. Remember, you're the leader of the home. You're the one who's like really laying out the template and the foundation for what it is to, you know, how to do life. Moms as well. And so, you know, don't, don't wait until it's too late, until your kids have to inevitably go to therapy and you're trying to correct the damage that you could have prevented.
