Trying to fix someone else to heal yourself is codependency, like any other addiction. The speaker compares it to a bucket with holes: external solutions leave you empty. Real repair has to come from inside.
A lot of times we think we could fix ourselves through fixing others, but I can't fix me by fixing you. I can't fix me by fixing you. Fixing you does not allow me to get fixed. If you really think about it like that, my assumption that fixing you fixes me is like drug addiction, is like porn addiction, is like a work addiction, is like an addiction to shopping or gambling or food, because things on the outside do not suffice. You end up like a bucket with holes.
