Tim Arrigo argues that men who mistreat their wives often lack self-love rather than love for their partners. He reframes the narrative from men being "broken" to being "hurt," and traces shame and codependency cycles back to a failure to love themselves first. Real love for a spouse requires inner healing and self-love as the foundation.
What do you think's easier for a wife to accept? That her husband treated her poorly because he didn't love her? Or that her husband treated her poorly because he didn't love himself? You know how many men believe that they're broken, that they need to be fixed, and not that they're hurt and they need to heal? You know how many men, because of the shame and guilt, enter cycles of codependency, trying to prove that they love their wives, not understanding the only way to truly do it is from the inside out? God wants to change you from the inside out, brother. And it's much easier for your wife to accept that you treated her poorly because you don't love her than it is for her to accept that you treated her poorly because you never truly loved yourself.
