Tim Arrigo tells men carrying shame, guilt, and past wounds that these "cinder blocks" sabotage their marriages and sense of self. He argues most couples counseling fails because it ignores the deeper personal trauma men bring to relationships. His Total Breakthrough Academy uses brotherhood and mentorship to help men transform their identities and release false narratives.
Too many men are carrying burdens that they should never be carrying in the first place. Burdens like feeling not good enough, burdens like shame and guilt, burdens like father wounds, burdens like abandonment, burdens like abusive situations that happened in their past, skeletons in their closet that they've never shared with a single person in their life. That they were going to take to the grave. Men carry burdens, and these burdens weigh them down. They're like cinder blocks in a backpack. I want to tell you, brother, that you don't have to carry these burdens anymore. These burdens weighing you down, making you feel less, less of a man, making you feel tired and weak, making you feel like you just want to give up. Don't, don't, don't stop. Don't give up. And I want to tell you that in Galatians 6:2, it says, bear one another's burdens and fulfill the law of Christ. The law of Christ is what? Love. So when we bear one another's burdens, what does that look like? I'll tell you what it looks like. Happens every single day inside the Total Breakthrough Academy. Brothers sharing with one another, brothers opening up with one another, with their coaches, brothers opening up inside the system that we've designed to help you revolutionize and transform your life. Marriage is the tip of the iceberg, brother. The real things are the burdens, because we don't have marital problems, we have personal problems that affect our marriage. That's why most of marriage counseling and other systems that are designed to just help you solve your marital problems never actually solve them, because you didn't have marital problems, you had personal problems. You had issues that you brought into that marriage. You had burdens that weighed you down. You had cinder blocks that kept you bound. You had chains that kept you trapped. And in bondage. How do I know? Because I've lived it and I've experienced it. And over the last 10+ years, inside and outside of the clinical setting, developing, right, a coaching program that's helped thousands of men— thousands of men are currently using the system to change their life. What are they learning? That they carried burdens that they should have never been carrying in the first place. And so, my brother, I want to give you permission today I want to give you permission today as the beautiful sun is shining, and I want to remind you that you don't have to carry these burdens anymore. That is a lie. That is a lie that you tell yourself about. Well, I have to carry this, or this is just the way that it is, or it is what it is, or you know what, I've dealt with this this long, so hey, or I just— it doesn't bother me and it doesn't affect me. Guess what, bro? You don't have to think about it to have it affect you because it shows up in your life without your permission. It shows up in your life without your consent. It operates in the subconscious. It operates in your relationships. It operates in the way you communicate. It operates in the way you handle conflict. It operates in the way that you relate to your work. It's the patterns and the habits that are the hardest for you to break that have gone on for years, if not decades, that have become a part of what you perceive to be your identity. It's time to shift your identity. It's time to step into something new inside your life, because God is always doing new things in old people, and God has something beautiful for you, brother. If you could just imagine like a 10 out of 10 life, I just want to tell you that the life that God has for you far exceeds that. It blows your mind. You couldn't even imagine it. I would have never imagined my life would be what it is. But here's the thing: having the willingness to step into it, to overcome your criticism your pessimism, your cynicism, all the limiting thoughts, all the limiting beliefs, and become a part of a real brotherhood, a real system that literally will change your life quickly. You deserve it. You deserve it. You deserve to feel power again. Remember what I always tell you? Power is not a position. Power is an emotion. Power is when you feel the presence of the Holy Spirit again and God is calling you to something great in your life. Listen to me, man. There's no coincidences. God didn't take you this far just to take you this far. He's got a plan for you, a plan to prosper you, not to harm you, to give you a hope, to give you a future. It's not a plan to destroy you. It's not a plan to end everything beautiful in your life. You know what creates that is when you stay in stagnation and then you sit back and you're like, well, hey, you know what? Like, if it's meant to happen, God will make it happen. No, bro. When Moses intervened for Israel and he told God, right, God was about to wipe out Israel with his wrath, and Moses said, wait, wait, hold up. God responds in— God moves in response to faith. God moves in response to courage. God moves in response to boldness. So really, that means you have a choice: wait or go meet God in that place.
