HOW TO MAKE YOUR MARRIAGE WORK, EVEN IF YOUR WIFE IS NOT WILLING TO CHANGE
Tim Arrigo coaches men in struggling marriages to stop blaming their wives and practice extreme ownership instead. He outlines five types of leadership husbands should embody: loving, decisive, servant, moral, and spiritual. Change comes from internal transformation and consistency, not waiting for your spouse to shift first.
Chapters
What's going on guys? Welcome. Thanks for joining me. So tonight, super excited to share this with you guys. Tonight we're going to be talking about how to make your marriage work even if your wife isn't willing to change. So again guys, thanks for joining me. Super excited to share this with you tonight. Um, if you're just joining me, I'd love for you guys to chime in where you guys are joining from, city and state, uh, where you're joining me from right now. If you don't mind typing that in the comments, I love seeing you guys, um, and where you guys are joining from. And again, guys, just want to say thanks for joining me tonight. Super excited to get into this topic with you guys tonight. Um, and I'm sure a lot of us can relate to this topic. Right. Got some people from Michigan, El Paso, Massachusetts, Arizona. Awesome, guys. Super excited to have you with me. So tonight I want to talk about what if, what if my wife isn't willing to change? And you know, a lot of people ask me this. I get asked this question a lot. You know, Tim, how do I make my marriage work if my wife isn't willing to change. Right now, some of us, we're in this situation right now. Right? You're doing everything in your power to impress your wife, right? And if that's you, right, type in the comments, what are some of the things that you're trying to do right now to impress your wife or to win back your wife? Because a lot of times we think that, well, if my wife isn't willing to change, then the marriage is never going to work right now. What do I do? So a lot of us, right, we try to impress her. You try to show her that you care. You try to make a difference to her or for her. You're going above and beyond for her. You're trying everything to make it up to her. Right? The things that you've done, you're apologizing profusely, uh, you're feeling like you gotta kiss her butt just to get her to love you again, right? So you guys tell me, right? How are you guys experiencing this? What are some of the things that you guys are doing that you're experiencing? How you guys doing? Welcome. Thanks for you guys for joining me. Much love. So, um, What are the things that you guys are doing to try to get your wife to change? Because I see a lot of men that I work with personally, okay, who are in this situation on the, on the brink of divorce, or in the middle of a potential divorce, separation, temporary, okay, or the marriage has been slowly dying with 1,000 razor cuts, paper cuts. Right? And over time, they've turned into a roommate situation with their wife. They're feeling like they're in a situation where— and I know it's hard to believe, but they don't want to look at themselves anymore because they've tried everything to try and make it work. But it just seems like their wife isn't on board. It just seems like no matter what they do, it's not good enough. No matter what they do, their wife isn't on board with it. No matter what they do, it's not good enough. And if you guys are just joining, right, I want to— I would love to hear from you guys, right? Let's hear it, right? What are you guys going through, right? Because I know I've talked to— well, I've worked— I've been doing this for over 10 years and I've worked with thousands of men who get breakthroughs daily in the work that we do in the Beyond Driven Total Breakthrough Academy. So What are some things that you guys are experiencing? Right? What are some things that you guys are experiencing in terms of, I'm trying to get my wife back, but she's unwilling to change, she's unwilling to participate or cooperate in this process. Right? So, so currently, Chris says, I'm currently working on better control of my emotions and being more empathetic. And I'm working on bettering myself, but my wife thinks it's just a show to manipulate. Chris, a lot of people— thanks for sharing that, brother. And I could tell you right now, a lot of people go through that, right? Because why? And a lot of times, the changes that you've tried to make, your wife is in a position where she's believing that maybe you're changing. And sometimes it just comes across as inauthentic, right? And so that can be really frustrating because you're deciding to make these changes, but it's not like your wife is validating it. She's not on board with it. Right? She's not, she's not, she's not amused. She's not impressed. Right? Why? Because she's really looking for what? What do you guys think she's looking for? Consistency, stability, right? So what we're missing is one vital component, which I want to share with you guys tonight. One key piece, right, that most of us never think about. And every single man I've ever worked with blames his wife Or says, well, it would work if it just wasn't for my wife. See, I get this all the time. And lots of guys I talk to, they want to blame their wife until they realize that they're blaming somebody for something that they created. Because let me ask you, was it like that when you met the person? Why would you marry somebody if that was the condition of your relationship? And people all the time, they say, well, you know, it's deteriorated, and this has happened with my wife, and this has happened over the years. At Beyond Driven, we don't blame our wives. We take extreme ownership for our life. We realize the power of strong leadership and the influence that that has, right? So Chris, I appreciate you sharing that. And I want to encourage you, brother, don't give up, right? Keep investing in yourself, man. Keep putting your best foot forward. Keep doing your best because that's what's most important. So again, what, what is this one key piece that we're missing? If my wife isn't on board, can I make this work, right? I'm trying to oppress her. I'm trying to get her to fall back in love with me. I'm trying to get her to pursue me. I'm trying to get— I feel disrespected. I feel mistreated. I just can't get my finger around why this— why is this happening? Why can't I make this work? And I want to give up. I want to give up. I want to throw in the towel, maybe, on my, on my marriage. Because it just seems like nothing I ever do is good enough. Now I can tell you guys that many years ago, over 10 years ago, I was in a marriage that failed. And I was in a marriage that failed because of one reason: I wasn't chasing my vision. I wasn't purpose-driven. I was not a purpose-driven man. I was not the leader that I needed to be. And I had expectations of how I believed I deserved to be treated. And I talked to so many men every day. I know this is hard to admit. It's hard to admit even with yourself that you're entitled, that you expect other people to treat you better than you treat them, number one, and how you treat yourself, number two. People will never treat you better than how you treat yourself. Especially in a relationship. If people watch you disrespect yourself, not chase your dreams— so many of you guys, you're worried about what your wife needs to— what you need to say to your wife instead of what she needs to see from you. You're worried about what you need to say to your wife, right? How many of you guys have tried this before? I'd love to hear from you guys. Right. Chris says, feels like you're reading my mind right now. Right. Izzy says, last night, just because I bought extra lemon, she got on my case. Right. Great example. Right. Hesperia, welcome. Glad you're joining us, brother. From Sweden. Awesome, man. Appreciate you guys joining me. So exactly right. Don't tell me, show me. right? Like a lot of people are mentioning right now, so many of you guys, you're worried about what you need to say to your wife instead of what she needs to see from you. What are the behaviors that you need to demonstrate and exhibit? And I'm going to tell you this right now. I'm going to tell you this right now. Women are not attracted to a man that begs to be respected and loved. It's different when a man commands that with his energy. When he commands that with his energy. When he wakes up before everybody, when he's in the kitchen taking his, you know, vitamins and supplements and getting ready to hit the gym, he's got his workout clothes on, right? He hits the gym, he comes home Right? He's back into work. He's, he's, he's on a mission, a man on a mission to better himself. I'm not just talking about physicality here. I'm talking about in everything he does. And during that time in my life, guys, I wasn't purpose-driven. I wasn't right. And for you guys, a lot of you guys, have you ever tried so hard to get your marriage to work, but you just can't get your wife on board? And you're thinking and believing that if my wife isn't on board, then it's never going to work. And so you're waiting for your wife to get on board before you decide and determine it's time for you to change. Think about that. You're still putting your transformation, your purpose— you're still putting being the best version of you, tapping into your full potential in your wife's hands. Think about that. You're making yet another excuse about pretty much about why you shouldn't have to improve what you're doing. Why? You are going to bring either the best out of somebody or you're going to bring the worst out of them. Right? And I don't know about you guys, But years ago, I brought the worst out of people. I brought the worst out of people because the worst was coming out of me. Right? Jonathan says, it's like you're reading my mind. And yeah, because I've been there, guys. I've lived this. And not only that, but I've been doing this for a very long time, for over 10 years, right? Don Eric. My brother Don Eric, who— Don Eric saved his marriage after the work that we did, right? Don Eric said, you lead, she will follow, right? Don has had a successful marriage and he's a great example of doing this work, right? Don has been a great leader in his home ever since he's made these changes. And Don is a living, breathing example of doing this work. Love you, Don. Much respect, brother. Good to see you. Right. Izzy says, it's like you said the last time, I don't need her pat on the back. Yeah. Why? Why? And you have to really ask yourself, it's like, why am I really willing to change then? If it's about her, if it's about, I'm changing because I want to get her, it should be. It's like, look, if I lead, people aren't going to allow me to lead them if they don't like where I'm taking them. They're not going to let me lead them if they don't— if I can't lead myself. If I can't lead myself, how is anyone going to want to follow me? People aren't listening because they don't like what they see. When people like what they see, they're more likely to listen to what you say, right? Jonathan says, it's been tough, but I'm transitioning into making myself a better person instead of paying attention to why my wife isn't wanting the the marriage. That's it right there. One more time with that. That's awesome, Jonathan. He said it's been tough, right? Meaning he hasn't been relying on the external validation. He hasn't been waiting for the outside to change before he changes the inside. He's realized that he can't fix the inside from the outside. He can only fix the inside from the inside. That's why the method that we use in the program is called the Inside Out Method. Because all of us, all of us men in these situations have been trying to fix the inside from the outside, right? And we do that through a lot of different dysfunctional behaviors as well, self-destructive stuff that we do in secret. A lot of guys in my program that I talk to are struggling with this. They got a lot of secrets, a lot of things they do that they're embarrassed about, that they're ashamed about, and it's self-destruction. So Jonathan says, it's been tough, but I'm transitioning into making myself a better person instead of paying attention to why my wife isn't wanting the marriage. Because think about it, whether or not it works, don't you want to be the best version of you? And do you want to put that timeline and that, that change and when that happens in somebody else's hands, right? If you don't want to do that, Right? Then type me in the comments. Right? And that's why we only work with a specific type of person, with people that understand that they want to be purpose-driven. They want the best out of themselves. They want to break through to the next level. They feel like they're plateauing and they know what they're capable of. So I know you guys have been in this situation, some of you guys, right? A lot of you guys, tried so hard to get your marriage to work, but you just can't seem to get your wife on board. And you're assuming that you need to get your wife on board and that getting your wife on board— and see, a lot of guys are trying to get their wife to accept a lesser version of themselves. They're trying to get their wife to accept a version of themselves that their wife didn't choose to be with. Their wife didn't choose to marry this version of themselves. And they're like, well, she should just accept me for how I am. I had a guy recently reached out to me, said, how do I respect— how do I gain back respect? I said, do you respect yourself? And he goes, well, not really. I mean, I said, well, how do you expect other people to respect you and gain back respect when you don't even respect yourself? And that shows through your behavior. So again, guys, some things we've never learned: that strong leadership creates positive influence on other people. Guys, we all know the power of strong leadership. Your wife doesn't want you to beg. She wants a strong, assertive leader who knows the balance between his quest for greatness inside the marriage and his quest for greatness outside of the marriage. There's the balance there. A lot of guys are begging, pleading, coming across with an energy of desperation. That's not attractive. Your energy of assertiveness, of leadership, of a man on a mission with a purpose, with a vision, who's chasing something of meaning. That, that is what is attractive. That is what is attractive, right? You hear it all the time, you know, you really had your shit together when I met you. What does that mean? It means that you were disciplined, right? It means that you were congruent. It means that you had integrity. It means that you were a man of your word. It means that you were concerned about your behavior and about being better every day, not being complacent. And I know because I've been there, and mediocrity is a soul killer. How many of you guys have lived a life of mediocrity before, right? Getting stuck in that pit of mediocrity. If that's you, type me in the comments. Right. A lot of guys that we work with— Don Eric, I know he can vouch for this— feeling like he's living a life of mediocrity, and then he breaks through. Why? Because he starts to— he puts himself first and understands that self-investment pays dividends into everybody's life around you. Self-investment is the best investment you could ever make because your wife gets a better version of you. Your kids get a better version of you. And when people experience the new you, it changes how they view you. Let me say that again. When they experience the new you, it changes how they view you, right? Riley says me, right? Let's talk about who wants to change and be the new you. Right? That's Don Eric too. Right? Jonathan says yes. Right? Changing. That, see, and that requires, it's understanding. It's like, hey, yo, what's up, Will? Welcome, man. Thanks for joining us, brother. Will's in the Total Breakthrough Academy too. He just joined. And it's about understanding this stuff, guys. And it takes a level of humility. As men, we're not used to reaching out for help. But the most responsible, healthiest thing you could ever do is to get connected to other men who are on this journey, who are just farther along than you are, or at the same position that you are. The only thing you're missing is the right tools and the right people in your life. And it takes a certain level of humility to acknowledge this, that, hey, this is where I'm at. And it doesn't mean that I'm broken. It means that I just haven't learned. There's some stuff I gotta work on. I want to get my edge back. Right? If you guys— have you lost your edge? Have you ever been there? Have you ever felt like you lost your edge, that you're not living at your full potential? A lot of people won't admit this, but yet they're the same people that compare themselves to everybody else and try to use everything on the outside to numb and fix everything on the inside. But you're like a bucket with holes. No matter what you put in, no matter what you try to gain externally, it's never enough. Right. Don Eric says, my way of life has advantages for all, right? The way Don lives his life now gives advantages for everybody in his life because he's giving himself his best. So his wife gets the best from him. Don saved a marriage that was failing, and Don is a great example of doing that work, having the integrity, right? Being an honorable man, a man of his word, being congruent, no lies, no deception, truth, honesty. It takes a brave individual to do that right now. What we weren't taught is that a lot of times you're not pursuing your purpose and your wife isn't feeling inspired by who you are. So you're not bringing out the best in her. Everybody knows what this is like, right? You have a friend who goes on a weight loss journey, they start to lose some weight. And the next thing you know, in the beginning, people are like, oh, you're doing that weight loss thing? Oh, good luck with that. Seems like a lot of work. Or, well, remember you failed the last 5 times when you tried? That's the initial reaction that most guys get because they've tried these quick fixes that have never worked. They've never actually committed to something long-term. They're not in it for the long haul. They're in it for the short temporary. They want the result more than they want to love and fall in love with that process. If you love the process more than the result, you're going to get that result. And oftentimes you're going to surpass it, right? Guys end up going on amazing vacations, sending me photos. This program changed my life. I'm going on a vacation with my— I— a guy just texted me. He said, I was going to take my life before I joined your program. And thank God I got a video that came across my screen. It was you. I'll reach out. I joined your program. I saved my marriage. And now I'm, I'm going on a, on a cruise with my wife. We're on a vacation right now. My marriage has never been better. And this is, this is no BS, man. This is real. This is happening. Why? Because guys are taking the initiative. They're stepping up and they're owning their part. And you're telling me that a good, loving, caring woman who's all in with you isn't going to organize around that? She— trust me when I say this. Strong leadership. This is like— you're not understanding. If you're the type of man who's waiting for your wife to change before you change, then this isn't for you. Good luck with that, because you're the type that procrastinates. How do I know? Because I've been there. So let's call a spade a spade, because that's what it is. You're going to continue to procrastinate, avoid. You're an avoider. You got to stop doing this. So what I want to show you guys is number 1, leadership is loving leadership. What is loving leadership? Well, there's a reason that you're called her knight in shining armor. It's not just because you're supposed to look attractive to her. You're called to be the provider and the protector, which makes your wife feel loved. But loving leadership looks more like gentleness, understanding, empathy. To lead her first, you gotta get her. Once you get her, once you understand her, she feels both led and loved. Guys, like I said before, no one's letting you lead them when they don't like where you're taking them, especially if you can't lead yourself. Number 2. So number 1 is loving leadership. Number 2, decisive leadership. I talked to a lot of guys before they joined the program. I gotta ask my wife. I'd ask my wife. And you're wondering why you're still stuck because you're still doing it. You're still looking for the green light from your spouse. They're not really invested in the idea of you doing anything because everything you've done has failed. So you have to believe in yourself. You have to commit to this journey. Couples, they have to be— they have to learn how to collaborate and make decisions together. And this can be a challenge, but a wise husband is going to listen to his wife's counsel. My wife, what I love about our marriage is that, is that she gives me She gives me these perspectives. She offers me her two cents. And you know what? It's a perspective. And being healthy means that I'm willing to look at multiple perspectives. That's a part of being a leader. I want to hear somebody else's feedback. CEO of a company, when I walk into a meeting, right, am I gonna be the first to speak or am I gonna let everybody else speak first and listen? A lot of guys have to be the first to speak. It's all ego, right? Your wife, when she gives you good, good perspectives, and you can recognize this, it'll sharpen you. It'll, it'll make you better because a good husband also learns to discern when stepping in or stepping up to make critical decisions is necessary, even if it's unpopular. You don't use your wife as a shield. Well, my wife doesn't want me to. That's using your wife as a shield, man. Take initiative. Believe in yourself. What are you doing? Be clear about that, right? If you guys want this type of leadership in your life, right? Will says, me too, avoidance, my first symptom, right? Riley says, truth. Right? How many of you guys feel like you're stepping into something better with some loving leadership in your, in your marriage, right? Loving leadership in your relationship. This is crucial. This is such a big deal. Loving leadership is huge, right? Decisive leadership is huge. We have to have these things, right? Let the buck stop with you when making the tough calls. Don't simply pass it on to your wife. Right? She may not say it or want to admit it, but she desires you to be decisive in your leadership. And I've personally found that my wife doesn't always like my decisive leadership in the moment, but she's thankful for it in the long term because it makes her feel secure. So many men aren't doing this. Number 3, they don't have servant leadership. Servant leaders seek to meet the needs of the people they lead before making sure their own needs are met. A wife wants a husband who's a servant leader, guys, who doesn't just make decisions but who selflessly contributes to her and the good of the family. This means stepping up to do things that are out of your comfort zone. It also means that as men, we have to be willing to make some sacrifices and ask our wives, right? That we ask our wives in the areas like finance, parenting, hobbies, or alone time. We gotta make sacrifices for that. 'Cause check it out, if we don't make sacrifices for what we want, a healthy marriage, then what we want will be the sacrifice. Let me say that again. If you don't make sacrifices for what you want, then what you want will become the sacrifice. This is painful, and it's not easy to own this, but I can't— it's like, I can't defeat what I can't define. I can't conquer what I don't confront. I have to acknowledge that, yeah, it's all me. And if I want to be the type to blame and put that off and put it on someone else and make excuses and be a victim, then this isn't for you. But trust me when I tell you, that's not a path to greatness. It's not. It's not. And you know what? Sometimes it takes years to learn this stuff. So it also means as men, right, we have to make sacrifices. Number 4, moral leadership. Right. This is, Will says, decisions are a couple's job, need to establish roles and empower each other. Right. I love that, man. Haley says, my husband never asked my, for my permission. He just does him when he wants. I'm usually the one who is like, usually the one who is like, let me find out and talk to my husband. Cause I don't know what he planned for himself to do. Helping and doing for others always. So a lot of times, right, what's happening is they're making decisions, but they're not for the betterment. It's like, what are the decisions that you make? Are they only benefiting you? And that's the whole irony here, is you think that investing in yourself is selfish until you realize that investment pays dividends into every area of your life. Moral leadership, right? Yes, I do. Um, yes, we do do coaching. Please, uh, take advantage of the free resources in my bio, guys. I have tons of free resources in the link on my page. Um, please take advantage of those. You guys have the opportunity to watch the free training, take advantage of the downshift technique, and the free Facebook group, which we're in right now. Um, I do these live calls every Wednesday inside of Facebook. Please guys, join us. Please take advantage of, uh, please take advantage and please message me privately if you'd like to learn more. Um, I love to connect with you guys and just see how we could potentially offer you some value in the situation you're in. So moral leadership is number 4. Moral leadership requires a man who not only knows what he believes, but has a vision for what's best for him and his family when it comes to rules, standards, and values that he wants to pass on. That's legacy, moral leadership, right? And a lot of guys that I talked to, they didn't have good male role models. God— I believe God didn't intend for women to carry out the burden of moral leadership in a home, although that's partially their responsibility. When a husband carries it properly, it frees his wife to achieve her own God-given potential. And when a husband takes the reins of moral leadership, his wife cheers him on. Doing what is right, not what feels good. A lot of guys just do what feels good. They don't do what is right. What's the right thing to do? They don't listen to their conscience. They don't have a sense of morality. It's like, what I want to do when I want to do it, and what I determine is right or wrong. Yeah, but the sad part about that is your kids are watching. And guess what? If you got a daughter, would you want your daughter to marry a man like you? Would you want your daughter to be with a guy like you? Because your kids are watching you. They're watching you all the time. They're constantly watching you, observing you, and they're picking up on the way that you treat your wife. The next thing you know, your son, he's 15 and he's mistreating women. Talking down to them, talking disrespectfully to them. Okay, spiritual leadership. This is crucial too. And in our program, we put God as the, as the center of the whole thing, whatever you believe. Spiritual leadership. Previous generations of men who have been spiritually absent or have put that on their wives This hasn't been good for marriages. So out of all the areas of leadership, this might be the one that your wife needs you to take the lead in most. Praying for your family, leading by example, helping them live out their calling, speaking life over your family. Are you speaking death or are you speaking life? This is, this is it. Taking personal responsibility for why things aren't the way they are. A lot of guys, it's like they don't even know what they don't know, and they're not even malleable. They're not willing, they're not open-minded, they're not flexible, they're not in a position to learn, right? And I've been there, guys. Casey says, my husband runs away to another relationship all the time for 2 years now, but he only realizes what he lost when he leaves, comes back, comes back, puts in all the effort for weeks, then gone again and wants to come back again. Right? It's— guys, sometimes it takes losing everything to realize what you had in the first place. And so many men, they wait till it's too late, and they're trying this Hail Mary. What? Why? You don't have to wait till it's that late. But, and even if it is gotten to that point, it's still not too late for you. And don't assume that the absence of your wife is the void that you're feeling, because I'm going to tell you, the void you're feeling is the work that you haven't done on yourself, the love you don't have for yourself. 9 times out of 10, you don't get to hurt somebody and determine how fast they heal. Let me say that again. You don't get to hurt your wife, inflict pain, inflict trauma, and then determine when she heals. Well, I started working on me and my wife should be on board with it. Or maybe she shouldn't because she doesn't want to get hurt again. And maybe she's waiting for you to be consistent, disciplined, deliberate. It's not what you do occasionally that creates a change, it's what you do consistently. Are you all in? Are you fully committed? Are you the type of guy who goes all in for 2 weeks and then bails out again? Commitment. Staying true to what you said you would do, even when that good emotion that you made the commitment in is gone. Don't have your commitments be based on emotional convenience. If it feels good, then I'll be committed to it. What if when it doesn't? Are you still committed? Are you still committed to treating people with respect and dignity and, and coming across as a loving leader? Decisive leadership, spiritual leadership, moral leadership, servant leadership. Strong, assertive leadership, not lying, manipulating, victimhood, doing all these secretive behaviors when everybody goes to sleep. And then you wonder, and guess what? I guarantee the types of men that you hang around and spend time with are probably the same way. I know because I talked to thousands of men every day. I worked with thousands of men over the last 10 years. And I was at a previous time in my life, that guy. So leadership, guys, again, do going above and beyond, owning your part, being a man of your word, being responsible. When you speak to your wife or need to correct her, you do it with love. You know how to use inflection in your tone of voice. You can show compassion with the tone in your voice. You don't scold people. You don't name-call. You don't put them down. You listen to perspectives. You allow people to think and feel however they want without taking it personal. You could read body language. You know how to stimulate your wife mentally and emotionally first. This is key, guys. This is such a big deal. Intimacy is, is not transactional, guys. Your business might be transactional, but your marriage isn't. Your marriage isn't. This requires you to downshift. You can't just have this power-through mentality that you have at work. You're capable of this, guys. You're so capable of this. All you need is the right tools and the right people in your life. And if you're interested in learning more about this, please Comment info right now. Somebody from our team will reach out to you, or just send me a message, or you can go into the links in the bio, check out our free training, learn more, take advantage of the free resources, guys. That's what I put them there for, right? Jonathan says, you know what's the most important part for me? It's working on myself while being a full-time dad. It's been tough, but truly transforming because I'm starting to feel, right? I love this. This is powerful. Starting to feel that the love for my kids from the years of working nonstop. Now my wife is helping in our relationship and things have been getting better. Right? Don Eric says, all about the delivery and conversations. Boom. Right? And Don, I know that Don can relate because Don and I are very similar. Right? Jared Fry says, do the work. Right? I love this. Do the work. It's like, do it. Stop blaming. Stop waiting for other people to give you the green light. Go all in. Be committed, guys. It's Thanksgiving. It's the holidays. The best gift you could ever give your family is a better version of you. The best gift you could ever give humanity is a better version of you. And that's your purpose. That's your mission. That should be your vision. What are you pursuing, guys? If it's not that, then what are you pursuing? And you're, you're wondering why you're not fulfilled. You're wondering why you're not happy. You're wondering why you're not waking up every day excited, why your marriage isn't full and robust of just love and intimacy and romance and passion. And sparks aren't flying, you can reignite what you believe to be a dead marriage. Don is here as a living example of that, and all the other men that have come into the program are living examples of that. Your marriage isn't dead yet, and neither are you. And if you're not dead, then God's not done. So what are you waiting for? And whether you get help with us or somebody else, you need the help. You need it. So stop making excuses. Stop using other people as a scapegoat. Stop blaming. Stop victimizing. Change your mindset. Take total extreme ownership over your life and do the work like Jared said, because it's on you. It's up to you to make those changes, guys. And I'm just speaking to a former version of myself right now who needed to hear this. So happy Thanksgiving, guys. Happy holidays. Much love and respect, right? How do I get my wife to change? How do I get my wife on board if she's unwilling? You work on yourself relentlessly because strong leadership has the power of influence. When people like what they see, they're more likely to listen to what you say. When people experience the new you, it changes how they view you. You've never known how to change it because you never stepped up to be the leader that your wife and family needs. All right, guys. Jonathan says, I meant to say she worked full-time, helps me bring— happy Thanksgiving, Autumn— helps me bring the money in, helps me in the financial part. And it's not at all on me anymore. Helped us a lot. And Tim has helped also. If anyone needs advice on here, I can be a listener, uh, on this page and give my input. Love it, Jonathan. Much respect, brother. Well, again, guys, happy holidays. I hope you guys got a lot of value out of this. Um, Will, happy Thanksgiving, brother. I'll see you in the morning. And, um, guys, if you're interested in learning more about the program, much love and respect, Don. Thanks for joining me, brother. Always love having you on here. So, so proud of you, man. True transformation right there. Again, guys, much love and respect. If you guys would like to learn more, you can find the links on my page. Also, please take advantage of the free resources. Guys, if you're looking for help, please send me a private message. You can also check out the links in my bio. And again, guys, I just want to say thanks for joining, man. I'm with you in this fight. Guys, it's not over yet. Don't give up, right? The holidays are upon you. Let's make these changes and let's step up as the leaders that our family needs. All right. All right, guys. Take care. All right, guys. So again, take advantage of the free resources that you can find on my page. Please take advantage of these. Peace back to you, man. Thank you so much. Right? Absolutely, Mikey. Always, brother. Always. Yeah, guys, I love this. You guys got great feedback. Happy Thanksgiving. Thank you so much. God bless you. And again, guys, much love and respect. You guys got this. Again, please take advantage of the free resources in my bio. You guys can find them in there. The downshift technique. Read over this stuff, guys. I made this stuff specifically for you guys to help you guys. Along with this free Facebook group as well. Okay, guys.
