Tim Arrigo examines work addiction, especially among men, and how it damages relationships and mental health. He argues your identity shouldn't be tied to your business and pushes you to delegate, prioritize home, and find purpose beyond work.
The craziest thing about work addiction in America is that it's the one addiction that you can have where you're considered a success. It produces the dopamine, the endorphin rush, and a lot of times we never consider how it affects us because everybody in our life is rooting us on, they're cheering us on. And the problem is, is we're so addicted to the work It consumes us, and the consequences mirror and mimic every other addiction. It causes damage, collateral damage inside our family. It damages us internally, physically. It damages us mentally, spiritually, emotionally. And the issue becomes in our life when we become so consumed by the very thing that we created to provide for our family, then, and when then what ends up happening is we end up sabotaging the one thing that we created the business for, our wife and kids. And see, work addiction is something that plagues so many men because as men, we're taught to be providers. And that's how we're taught to show our love, show our affection. And that's why the sad thing is so many women perceive this as my husband doesn't love me because he doesn't connect with me emotionally. And the irony is we feel like it's like I'm doing everything I can. Don't you see what I'm providing? For this family. I'm working as hard as I possibly can. Like, I am breaking my back, and I'm putting in massive amount of time and effort and stress and strain that I'm putting on myself. And I'm in this cycle. I'm addicted. You're addicted to work because of performance-based love. Love is something you had to work for. Love was something you had to earn. And love was something that you had to prove that you deserved as a man. As men, we find value, we find worth, we find love in our work, because inside the world, that's all the world validates men for. And so when people in our life, they're saying, hey, I want a more emotionally intelligent, more present, more calm version of you, I'm like, you're asking for something that I can't be. But I want to tell you today that you absolutely can. And the same dopamine rush that you get inside your line of work, inside your business by conquering these goals, these milestones, these achievements is the same dopamine rush, the same euphoria that you can get inside your home by creating goals, by creating achievements and milestones. When was the last time you had fun with your wife? When was the last time you went on the vacation? When was the last time you did something fun with your kids? It's like, what happens is we become robotic and we start showing up in the home as an empty vessel. Yeah, we're a beast inside our business, but we're empty and we're hollow inside our home because we have nothing left to give. So my question for you is, is your identity wrapped up inside your business? And can you not delegate things inside your business? Can you not delegate, automate, or eliminate things inside your business because your identity is your business. So if you delegate, then you're not really delegating your business, you're delegating your identity. And that's why you won't step away from it. That's why you won't give people positions of authority. That's why you won't hand over positions of leadership, because you're addicted. And just like any other addiction, you know what we do? We stay in denial about it, because it's not the negative behaviors in our life that are problem. It's why we truly do them. And at the end of the day, what you'll come to find out, brother, is that one area of your life is a place where you seek validation. It's a place where you find worth. It's a place where you feel loved. It's a place that you can also hide and escape from every other problem of your life. And people call you a success. But here's the issue: if you're a success in business but your marriage is failing and and your kids are suffering and your mental and emotional health is at its worst, then you're not a success. And I hate to tell you that. I'm not taking away from anything you've done inside your line of business. I'm not taking away from that. But what I'm telling you right now is it's time to become multidimensional. God has called you. God has called you to transition at this season in your life. Now that you've conquered this hill, now that you've got to this point, He's called you to do what? Create what you created in your business inside your home. You've created big things inside your business. It's time to create something massive inside your home.
