Tim Arrigo argues that therapy fails men because therapists can't give direct advice, only reflection. He says men need accountability and concrete tools they can apply immediately, not endless talking. His coaching system has helped over 2,000 men get results.
You want to know why therapy hasn't worked for you? Why therapy hasn't worked for a lot of men is because you go into the therapist's office, and most of the time this therapist hasn't even really been through what you've been through. And you go into the therapist's office and you get really excited, like, I'm finally enrolling in therapy, I'm gonna finally do this work. And you end up sitting down and just talking the whole time. And then you leave and you're confused. You're like, am I getting better? Is this how it's supposed to be? Well, maybe it's just the first session. I feel like I'm getting better, but am I getting better, or am I just feeling better because I'm talking for the first time? And see, what you don't realize is that therapists are bound by a code of ethics. They're not allowed to tell you what to do. They're not allowed to tell you what something is connected to. They're only allowed to help you and reflect things back to you and help you, hopefully in your own introspective process, make these connections on your own. And here's the problem: you can't solve the problem you're in with the same mindset that created the problem. And oftentimes they drag out this therapeutic experience, and it could take somebody 2, 3 years to come up to those realizations on their own. As men, we want to be held accountable. As men, we want results. As men, we want actionable steps that we can take in our life to change today. And if you've been stuck in therapy, I want to tell you that I can empathize with that, because I did too. Years and years ago, I got stuck in therapy too, until I realized that all I needed was the appropriate tools. All I needed was the appropriate mindset. All I needed was the appropriate right techniques and people in my life to help me really break through. See, going to a therapist, you're still believing that the solution is outside of you. You're still believing that somebody else is going to fix you. But here's the problem: you've been so successful in every area of your life, and you know that you can fix it. You know that you could resolve it. But you can't defeat what you can't define. You have to understand it and not be involved in a process of, well, that sounds hard, and yeah, that sounds difficult. That's why therapy doesn't work for a lot of empowered strong men, is because they get stuck in the rut of basically just talking and venting, which has its own cathartic benefits, right? It's beneficial in that regard. But it doesn't give us the actionable steps, the tangible techniques that we need to apply into our life today to get real results. If you're sick of not getting real results in your life, you got to ask yourself, what are you willing to do? Continue to go down the same road and continue to try what hasn't worked, or continue to sit here and pretend like I have all the answers? When I don't? Or continue to invest in a process that's proven to help you break through, a process that over 2,000 men that have come before you have invested in? You really have to ask yourself, what am I waiting for? Am I still putting my— the solutions in somebody else's hands? Am I still believing that somebody else is going to give that to me, or that magically one day I'm just going to wake up with more confidence and all the solutions that I need to solve the problems in my marriage? When I don't have the answers. That doesn't happen magically. That happens when you begin to take the necessary steps to change, when you break free from your ego and you invest in yourself.
