A speaker challenges married men to remember why they fell in love with their wives and commit to winning that love back instead of taking the easy way out through divorce or self-destructive choices. He argues marital problems didn't happen overnight but through gradual erosion, and asks what you're truly willing to do to restore the connection you once had.
I want you to think about this, really visualize this, hold this mental image in your mind. I want you to think about the time when you met your wife. I want you to really take yourself there, the way that you felt, the experience that you had when you first fell in love with her. I want you to think about how you thought about her, how you treated her, what you were willing to do to connect with her. I want you to think about that. Think about the passion, the love, how mindful, how present in the moment you were because you wanted this person in your life so bad. Think about the moment where you initially fell in love with her, or maybe you told her that you loved her for the first time. Think about that moment. See, the situation you're in right now, it didn't get like this overnight. It took time to slowly erode the relationship and decay every aspect of love, romance, passion, intimacy, connection. See, it didn't happen overnight. And see, one of the biggest problems is because you can't solve this problem in your marriage, you're thinking about throwing in the towel on it. Let me ask you, what do you really want? I get on hundreds of calls every single day, and I ask clients all the time, I say, what do you want for yourself? And they almost always say, I just want to be happy with my wife. I just want to find happiness with my wife again, where we feel connected, where we can laugh and feel joy, where we can bring out the best in one another. And see, the problem is that you can't leave the relationship because you know that you don't have closure You still have a guilty conscience. You feel shame and guilt because you know you're not walking in alignment with your values. You're not walking in alignment and being the man that you know you need to be. So as you think about this time that you fell in love with your wife, I want to ask you, what were you willing to do in that moment to make sure that she was a part of your life? What were you willing to do in that moment to make sure that you could have this person in your life? Because you wanted this person in your life so badly. See, you lost your edge. You lost your pursuit of wanting to connect with this person, and now you just want it to be easy. You want the easy way out. Divorce is the easy way out. Giving up is the easy way out. Engaging in self-destructive behaviors and vices as a way to escape is the easy way out. That's why the guys that I work with— I don't work with just anybody. I work with guys who are committed, who don't want to take the easy way out. Because it isn't about the easy way out, because the easy way out would never give you the confidence, self-esteem, assurance that you need. So my real question to you right now is, if you're willing to do all that to pursue your wife, then what are you willing to do to get her back? What are you willing to do to have her fall back in love with the man that she married?
