The speaker argues you can choose right now to stop toxic patterns: passive aggression, contempt, defensiveness, name-calling. Real power comes from inside, from aligning your actions with your own boundaries instead of seeking validation from others.
It's truly a power move when you willingly choose not to engage in dysfunction, because that's the most beautiful part that some of you guys don't even realize and recognize, is that you even haven't even cultivated enough awareness, enough consciousness to realize that you have a choice to not engage. You don't have to partake. You can wash your hands of all dysfunction right now. You can say, I choose not to engage in dysfunction. A toxic dynamic? I don't do it. Passive aggression? I don't engage in it. Angry outbursts? I don't partake in it. Taking things personally? I don't allow it. Name-calling, put-downs, defensiveness, contempt, stonewalling, criticism. I don't do it. It's a, it's a true power move in your life when you recognize that self-control is the only thing that you truly need. But see, you have to be able to cultivate, right, the right skill set, the right mindset, the right heart set. You have to position your heart. Your heart has to be in the posture of being ready for that. And you know when you're truly ready for that is when you've suffered long enough. Because in my life, I wasn't truly ready to change until I had enough, until I had suffered immensely. Some of you guys You're there right now. And what I want to tell you is that I want you to take back your power and control. Call me crazy, I like to see people succeed. And you know what's so powerful in people's lives when they succeed? When they realize the only thing they ever needed to succeed was within them. You want to hide greatness from a man, hide it within him. Because he'll search for it his entire life outside of himself and he'll never find it. You guys don't realize the true power move in your life is when you choose not to engage in dysfunction, when you live a life that's above reproach. So many of you guys don't have a leg to stand on because you have expectations but just look like a hypocrite because your behavior is not in alignment with those expectations. You get offended at the way the way that people violate your boundaries, yet you don't get offended at the way you violate your own boundaries every day. And I know because I've been there. I've been there. And you know when it changes? Man, when do things change? Looking at myself, man, when do things change? Until one day I got real raw and honest with myself and I looked in the mirror and I said, when do things change, Tim? When you change.
