A man tells Tim his wife has lost respect for him. The speaker argues it's not about her, it's about him: a wife stops respecting a man who doesn't respect himself through vices, broken promises, poor fitness, and unchecked anger. Fix yourself first.
I hear it all the time. My wife doesn't respect me anymore, Tim. Well, brother, can I tell you the honest truth that probably nobody wants to tell you? It's because you don't respect you. And I already hear it right now. I hear, I hear the excuses already coming out. I respect me. Okay, let me ask you this. Do you have vices? Do you have any form of a vice, a self-destructive behavior that isn't adding value to your life, that isn't making you more money, that isn't making you better looking, that isn't making you a better father, a better husband, a better leader, and making you healthy? Do you have any of those going on in your life? Then you're disrespecting yourself. Number 1, do you break character? Do you have angry impulses? Do you get stressed out? Do you not manage your stress? That's not healthy for you. That's disrespecting yourself. Is your physical fitness on point? Is your diet in check? Do you exercise on a daily basis? Do you take care of your physical body? If you don't, then you're not respecting yourself. Do you take care of your commitments? Are you committed to your commitments, or are your commitments based on emotional convenience? Like, well, if I feel like it, then I'll do it. If you're not, then you're disrespecting yourself. See, a lot of times what we don't realize is our wives become embarrassed about the fact that they're with us. Why? Because we have slowly descended into a version of ourselves that's completely juxtaposed. It's the antithesis of the guy that they married. And guess what that does? Makes your wife highly insecure. And when your wife feels insecure, all of her defense mechanisms, all of her vulnerability, all of her fear comes to the surface and gets projected. Where? Guess where? Onto you. In the form of what? A lack of respect. So before you want to complain about whether or not your wife respects you, my brother, you should have respect for yourself. And I know because I'm speaking from experience, because I used to disrespect myself on a daily basis, nonstop, 24/7. Vices, self-destructive behaviors, negative self-talk, not respecting my own boundaries, my breaking character constantly, lashing out in anger, having all these things that I did that were not in alignment with who I wanted to be. And how I wanted to see myself. And if that's you, before you complain about anybody else in your life disrespecting you, look at the man in the mirror and have a conversation with him about whether or not he respects himself.
