A man struggles with his wife's infidelity. Tim Arrigo validates his heartbreak and anxiety, then suggests daily spiritual connection to God as a way to counter feelings of worthlessness. He argues you can love someone and still leave the relationship, like a parent's unconditional love doesn't require staying.
If you're connected with God and you're connected to the vine, like you said, right, which you said you are, which I totally believe that if you're connected to the vine, if you're connected to God, Jesus Christ, on a daily basis, but your wife is in the throes of the enemy in your mind, even though that might be true, you can also use it as a mechanism to do what? Overcome what? Overcome the enemy. Well, overcome your own feelings of inferiority. When your wife goes off with another man, it's gonna immediately create feelings of inferiority. In any man. What does this guy have that I don't? Who is he? How tall is he? How much money does he make? What does he look like? What's his life like? Why was my wife into this guy? Why? That's a natural reaction. Yeah. And so to offset and to overcompensate or overcome some of those feelings of inferiority, what you might do is you might automatically say, well, this is doom, this is negative, you're in the throes of the enemy, this is all going to hell anyways, you're doomed, you guys are screwed, this is going to a bad place, as a way to overcome some of that.
Let me ask you this: what if your wife is right?
And I'm not saying that she is. What if this was supposed to happen for some reason?
Yeah, that's, that's clear, man. Like, that part is clear.
Because oftentimes the infidelity— of course it is, of course it is, brother. And that's why I asked you, what is the expectation that you have of yourself? Because listen, you're heartbroken and it's okay to be heartbroken. You're hurt and you're depressed. It's okay. You're feeling anxious, you're feeling betrayed, you're feeling scared. That's okay. Those are normal feelings of a process of a man who's been massively betrayed by his wife, a man that's been blindsided by infidelity and adultery in his life. Of course you're going to feel those feelings. Of course you're going to do that battle. Of course that's going to bring up insecurity inside of you. But that's the reason I asked you that, is how do you believe you should be handling this? And, and here's the thing, you can still love somebody and not be with them. Yeah. And those feelings of unconditional love that you have towards your wife, it's like if your son made a mistake or if he broke something in the house, right? Or if your son, um, got a girl pregnant, it 16. You know, he had a 16-year-old son and he got his girlfriend pregnant. He came home, Dad, I got bad news. No matter what your son does, if he, you know, gets in trouble at school because he gets expelled because he gets in a fight, if he, you know, smokes pot for the first time, it's like you're gonna still love him. So the problem that you're really having is, how do I move forward in my life with these feelings that I have towards my wife? How do I not be with my wife even though I have these strong feelings like I want to be with her? Absolutely.
