Tim Arrigo tells a husband that his wife won't recommit until he becomes the man she married. Stop the secretive habits and internal pain spilling onto others. Show consistent change for 30 to 60 days while she watches to see if you'll sabotage it.
Just got off a call with a client earlier and he asked me, said, Tim, how do I get my wife to recommit to the marriage? And I said, brother, the way you get your wife to recommit to the marriage is by getting her to recommit to the man that she entered the marriage with. If you recognize that you've descended into a lesser version of yourself, if you started to live in the gray area and these all these loose ends in your life, right, that you need to tie up, and all these secretive behaviors and all these outward expressions of your internal pain that keep bleeding out on everybody around you, when they become the collateral damage to the work that you haven't done, brother, you gotta stop getting your wife to try to accept the version of you that's far less than the version of you that she chose to be with. You're trying to get her to accept a version of you that is far less than the one that she chose to be with. Over time, Like you just became complacent. You accepted a lesser version of you and you didn't want to change. And now here you are. It's like, I want other people to accept this version of me. And now you've realized that other people are becoming intolerant of it and they're holding you to the candle, wanting you to change your life. And now you have an instant gratification mindset and wanting that right now. Brother, I said this all the time. You can't wound people and then determine how quickly they heal. Are you committed to this process regardless how long it takes? Are you committed to this process regardless? Because what's the pain of you not changing? What's the pain of you going back to somewhere that you just decided you didn't want to be? And that's it. You got to change your mindset and stop asking yourself, right, how do I get her to recommit to the marriage? And start paying attention to what does she need to see from me? How long do I need to be consistent? Because if she's still around, then there's still hope. But she's waiting, trust me, waiting, watching, observing. All the clients in my program, right, 30 to 60 days in, there's a shift that takes place. Why? Because when you initially start to invest in yourself, your wife doesn't want to get behind that because she doesn't want to get her heart broken again. She doesn't want to get her feelings hurt. So she's sitting back and she's observing. Silently observing, watching, waiting to see if you're going to sabotage another opportunity to change your life and another opportunity for her to fall back in love with you.
