Save Your Marriage from Self-Deception

So how did it happen? How did your heart become hardened? How did your heart become calloused? Because you and I both know that there's things that have gone on in your shadow. There's things that have gone on in your life that have calloused and that have hardened your heart. And see, the hardness of your heart hasn't allowed you to have the type of relationships, deep, meaningful relationships that you truly want in life. That hardness of your heart, see, it served you in certain environments, but it took you into a position in a relationship where you were actually challenged to do what? Reinvent yourself again. So you've reinvented yourself many times over the course of your own life. You've had to step into new versions of yourself over and over again. And you know what this marriage is forcing you to do? Step into a new version of yourself yet again. What version? The version of you with the fruits of the spirit come alive in you, where you become tenderhearted, where you learn to live in peace, you learn to live in joy. See, you learn to live in a position in your life that you always deserved. You got so addicted to chaos, you got so addicted to being guarded, being defensive, being walled off that you forgot the power of vulnerability in relationships. Look at the people around you. If they're willing to stay with you in this condition, in this state, if they're— if they love you when you're at your worst, And you couldn't be honest with them? Then you can't open up with them? People who love you at your worst, despite what happens in your life, despite how they feel in the relationship with you, that stick by your side through it all, and you're still living in the lie. And what's the lie? I don't trust people. What's the lie? I don't need to get vulnerable. And the only reason you believe this survival lie is because you believe that if you don't get open, you don't get vulnerable, you don't get hurt. What have you learned? You've learned to survive on your own. You've learned to make it this far in your life, but God didn't take you this far just to take you this far. He's not asking you to be a one-dimensional version of you. He's asking you to yet again, my brother, step into a new version of you, to open up your heart, soften your heart, and understand one thing. See, that's where you That's where you get to a point in your life where you can fully accept the love that people have for you. You can fully let that in, let that seep into the deepest parts of your— of who you are. And then guess what? That 18-inch corridor between your head and between your heart, something changes here. Something changes in this corridor, and all of a sudden The fact that your heart is reprogrammed, it starts to reprogram your mind. You start to see things differently. You don't see people for their behavior, you see them for their potential. You know what? You start to see your wife's struggles as something different. You see her emotions as something different, as you understand the power of emotional intelligence. The power of emotional intelligence. Building, rebuilding that empathy bridge back to your wife to create what? More vulnerability, more emotional intimacy, which only leads to what? More physical intimacy, a better life. Nothing on the outside can give you that. Money can't buy you that. So think about it like this. Isn't it crazy To think about that one thing that you're always searching for, that one thing that you're always looking for, is right in front of you. All it's doing is just waiting for you. All you have to do is just make yourself available for it.