A man describes how extending his personal development work another year has changed his marriage. He stopped criticizing himself, showed up more consistently, and his wife began to trust the shift. He says healing isn't linear and requires patience, space, and faith that actions speak louder than promises.
How would you describe the difference in where your marriage was then to where it is now? For me, I'm still in the fight like you said, but there are days when, you know, she pulls back and it's hard for her because she has to work through her stuff. There's hurt and healing. There's no timeline on the healing. So that's why I extended the program for another year because my healing does not get completed in 90 days. I have a lot to unpack, but my relationship with my wife has been healthier because how I'm showing up for our relationship through all the learnings I've had here. And be more open in our conversations. I have my moments, you know, I have, uh, like you share with us, we're fallible. So I have my moments where I slip up, but I don't beat myself up like I used to. And that helps her see that I'm still ready to fight for myself and for a relationship and have the confidence that we will make it through. And giving myself and her the time to work on a full restoration, which again, you know, God is part of the journey with us. We bring God into our lives And, you know, give it some time, give it some space, do work on yourself, and she will feel the change. And that's where the reconciliation will happen. That's where the restoration will happen. You don't show the change to your wives. They'll feel the change because that's all they trust. And so you show up for yourself, and that's what they want to see.
