Stop blaming your spouse for problems in your marriage. Complaining reveals your own powerlessness, not their flaws. Shift focus to what you believe about them and what you're willing to change yourself.
Stop complaining about your spouse's behavior. It's a bad look. It truly reveals cracks in your character when you talk negatively and complain about someone that you chose to spend your life with. Stop complaining and start to ask yourself, what are you willing to do about it? Sitting back and playing the victim And complaining about the situation isn't solving anything. In fact, you're only contributing to it because you're talking more about the problem. If you really want to get excited about where you're going in your relationship, why don't you stop talking about where you've gone, where you've been, how things suck, how things are ruined, how things are destroyed. Once you start talking about where you want to be, who you want to become, and what you want to see in this relationship— complaining truly shows you where your mindset is at. So it's not an external issue with the other person's behavior. It's an internal issue about your perspective and your ability to believe in your own self as a leader, to influence the situation and create the change that you want to see. I hear so many people complaining about their situation. What are you going to do about it? What are the changes that you're willing to make and what are the sacrifices that you're willing to make to create that change that you want to see? Why don't you stop complaining about that person and start believing in that person? Start believing in them. Because when you believe in somebody, you see the best in them. And guess what? When you see the best in them, they start to see the best in themselves, and you can bring out the best in them. I say it all the time: if you could bring out the worst in somebody, then why don't you believe that you can bring out the best in them? Your complaints are a reflection of your own powerlessness, that you don't believe that you have the necessary tools, insight, resources to create that positive change that you want to see. Just acknowledge it, admit it, because nobody complains about a situation that they can change. Nobody complains about a situation they have belief in. Nobody complains about a person that they they don't believe is capable of something better. You're the one who's in the situation. You're the one who remains there. So either keep playing the victim and keep complaining and stay where you're at, but if you want to see movement, you want to see change, you want to see things shift, stop complaining about them and start believing in them.
