Men who carry unresolved hurt from past relationships often project that damage onto their current wives. The same avoidance and communication patterns that destroyed a first marriage will repeat in a second unless you do the work on yourself. Stop blaming her for your past.
Stop making your wife pay for your past. See, you're in a relationship with your wife, and because you have unresolved experiences from your past, you're unintentionally projecting those issues on your wife. So your wife becomes the collateral damage to the work that you refuse to do. And see, you're dragging around this ball and chain of your past, And a lot of times what destroyed your first marriage will destroy your second one. So you have this history of trying to use the same communication styles, the same way of dealing with your emotions, the same way of communicating, and the same way of resolving conflict in the relationship that you're currently in. And so what ends up happening is your wife has to pay the price for the work that you refuse to do, the investment that you refuse to make into yourself. To do what? To transcend, to become a new version of you. When your leadership is on point, when you can manage your emotions, nobody else is responsible for that other than you. And no one's coming to save you. You gotta save yourself. Look at the way that you manage your emotions. Do you really think that the situations that are happening in your life have the power to trigger you the way that they do? No, they don't. And what you'll realize is you're overreacting to situations that would normally never warrant that type of reaction. Your wife is paying the price for the avoidance and the procrastination and the self-doubt and the fear and the fact that you stand on the fence and put it off another day. The devil's first name is tomorrow. Stop telling yourself you're going to do something when you know in the back of your mind that you keep putting it off. And the sad part is you expect people in your life to cosign that. Your walls of self-deception are so thick. Stop living in denial. Denial is emotional suppression. The same thing that destroyed your first relationship is bound to catch up with you in this one. If you don't make a choice to address it. Because regret can leave scars that never heal. When you know that you could have made a choice to do something different, but you chose not to.
