If you think you married the wrong person, the speaker says look at yourself first. Your ego, excuses, and communication style will follow you to the next relationship. Change how you talk, listen, and compromise, and you'll earn respect instead of repeating the same problems.
Sometimes you stop and wonder, am I married to the wrong person? But see, my question for you is, who would tolerate you in the condition that you've fallen into? See, if you were really in search of a new mate, of a new lover, of a new partner, of a new wife, you know what that would require from you. Let me ask you, would you be in search of the person with the same mindset, with the same lack of intimacy, with the same conflict resolution skills or lack thereof, with the same communication style, with the same— right, with the same power through mentality that you try to use in your business, that you've tried to use in relationships, being ego-driven, being self-centered, right? Not having the ability to attune. Would you, would you pursue somebody with that? Or would you really, would you recognize that you have to change? You're thinking about Emma. I think I'm with the wrong person. But the reality is maybe you're with the right person because maybe the person you're with wants to see the best qualities come out of you because they know what you're truly capable of. Maybe the wrong person isn't the person that you're with. Maybe the wrong person is the person that's staring back at you in the mirror. It's the man who lives below reproach. It's the man who makes excuses. It's the man who lives in the gray area. It's the man who's ego-driven. It's the man who doesn't want to have people take control of him. He doesn't want to be walked on. It's the man— he— see, what he doesn't understand is how to create win-win situations in his marriage. The art of compromise, the art of negotiation, the art of communication. The cadence, the inflection, the rhythm, his tone of voice, the way he carries a message. He doesn't lose his confidence and composure when he speaks that way. He actually gains it back. You want to have people respect you, they have to like what they see. Because when people like what they see, they're more likely to listen to what you say. Let me say that again. When people like what they see, they're more likely to listen to what you say. So maybe you should start paying attention to what they need to see from you and who you need to become before you're worried about what you need to say to them.
