Chronic anger often masks an old feeling of powerlessness from childhood. You learned to become the aggressor instead of the victim, using rage to hide helplessness. Real change means facing that unprocessed pain and softening your heart instead of hardening it further.
There's something in your life that made you feel powerless, and it happened a long, long time ago. It made you feel a sense of powerlessness, and you vowed to yourself that you would never feel this powerlessness again. You would never be a victim of someone else's behavior. So you know what you became? The perpetrator. And what did you do? You began to propagate and instigate the negative acts towards the people that love you most. Hard for you to acknowledge this. Your anger is a facade. Your anger is a mechanism that you use to overcompensate for on the inside the powerlessness that you feel from time to time. Don't want to acknowledge that you feel out of control. Don't want to acknowledge that you feel out of control in terms of the way that you feel. Can't control your own mind, can't control your own emotions, can't control what you say, can't control the actions, can't control the self-destructiveness. That powerlessness is— it just eats at you. So then here comes your ego. I got this. Don't tell me what to do. I got it figured out. This is my life. I can live it the way I want. And everybody in your life is trying to snap you out of the reality of this isn't even who you are. This guarded, closed off, just— your heart has become hard. There's a pathway from here to here, from your head to your heart. Are you really connected here? That powerlessness that you feel from time to time, you won't even acknowledge it. You won't even acknowledge it. And the problem with that is the powerlessness that you really feel is really just a result of you not being able to hear what people are actually saying. People are saying things to you, your wife is saying something to you, and you can't even hear what she's actually saying. You just feel like you're getting attacked. Your reaction says everything about it because your behavior is transparent. You would never react the way that you do if that wasn't the case. Why would things have the power to trigger you to the degree that they do? They wouldn't. So what are they they really triggering? What they're triggering is something that's always been there. What they're triggering is just something that it just brings up, it elicits something that already exists within you. So is it a trigger or is it an opportunity, bro? I'd say it's an opportunity. An opportunity for you to look at what is unhealed in you, the work you haven't done, because that's the real work. Yeah, we can go out and we can provide. Yeah, we can go out, we can make money. Yeah, we can go out, we could start businesses and be successful in our careers. But the real work starts on the inside. It's in here. And making that transition from here to here— your biggest fear is softening your heart to the people that you love. That's your biggest fear. Because what does it do? It forces you to have to confront stuff inside yourself. It forces you to have to open yourself up. It forces you to have to be more than a one-dimensional man. Stop living in fear. That's gonna get you nowhere.
