In this motivational monologue, the speaker argues that many men experience repeated marital failures because they do not change themselves. He criticizes the tendency to blame partners, pickers, or relationship dynamics, emphasizing that personal entitlement and lack of introspection are the real obstacles. The speaker outlines key interpersonal skills—composure, active listening, empathy, apology, negotiation, boundary‑setting, and compromise—as essential for a healthy marriage, noting that most men have never been taught these tools. He urges listeners to shift focus from trying to change the marriage to changing the individual who enters it, advocating for self‑reflection, self‑analysis, and self‑examination. To facilitate this transformation, he promotes a free training program called the Inside Out Method, which provides frameworks and strategies for internal growth that can improve relationships.
Chapters
New marriage, old communication. One of the main reasons why a lot of people's marriages fail the second time around is because they didn't change. And then they want to blame everybody that they're in relationships with, like, I have a bad picker, or here I am in another dynamic. And then they don't realize that they're not changing the man that's showing up to the marriage. They have expectations. They have an entitled attitude about the way that people should treat them. Yet they don't look at themselves. Have you ever acted that way? Have you ever done something like that? The problem is you question everybody else and you put demands and commands on them about the way that they should behave towards you, but you don't ever look at yourself. You don't ever introspect. You don't ever set standards. You get so offended at the way that other people violate your boundaries, yet you don't get offended at the way that you violate your own boundaries every day. You're not being a man that you respect, handling yourself with confidence and composure. You're not stoic about your approach to conflict. You just blurt out the first thing that comes to your mind. You're thinking before— you're, you're not the last to speak. You don't pause, digest, reflect, empathize, seek to understand, apologize, appreciate, know when to approach somebody, negotiation, compromise. These are all skills that make a healthy marriage, and it's not your fault that Nobody ever taught you that. But see, there's a time in every man's life where he finally humbles himself and gets to the point to understand that there's nothing preventing me from having a healthy relationship other than the fact that I expect that everybody else should treat me a certain way. And the mindset that I have, I just need to learn these tools. With the right people and the right strategies and the right frameworks in my life, I can change this. That's why we put together the free training that I have on my page called the Inside Out Method. It's all about looking on the inside. It's all about introspection, self-reflection, self-analysis, self-examination. You looking at you. Instead of wanting to change your marriage, let's change the guy that shows up to the marriage. Let's start there.
