A therapist explains how someone tries to heal childhood wounds by pursuing an emotionally unavailable partner, hoping to finally get what they missed. But the pattern hurts the client, his son, and everyone involved.
And I'm going to tell you why. It's repetition compulsion. What you're trying to do is you're trying to tie up the loose ends from your childhood. You believe that if you can secure this dynamic with your wife, if you can secure an attachment, right, with the emotionally unavailable person, which is your wife, that in essence you'll be able to be enough, which is a total overcompensation for your childhood. That I'll be able to basically— I can relive my past and I can tie up loose ends from my past as a way to control the outcome of the past that I couldn't control before. Can you see that? Oh yeah, definitely. Okay, so it's, it's, it's a rehearsal, it's reenactment. But, but brother, let me ask you this. Who's getting hurt? I mean, everybody is, but I am probably the most. Yeah, I would say absolutely you're getting hurt, and also your son. Yeah.
