Tim Arrigo breaks down 1 Corinthians 13's attributes of love for husbands: patience, kindness, humility, gentleness, self-control. He shows how each one works in marriage, from refusing toxic negativity to processing resentment instead of hoarding it, and asks what truth you're actually aligned with in your own life.
You want to know how you're called to treat your wife? It says it right in the word. It says, husbands, love your wives like Christ loved the church. I know some people get triggered by that. It's like, well, what does that mean? Uh, well, I'm not going to tolerate— well, what is love? Let's talk about what love is first. Love is patient. Love is patient. So that means that I don't have an instant gratification mindset, that I know that I didn't get here overnight, and I know that things aren't going to change overnight, but I'm committed to bettering this relationship. Love is patient. Love is kind. So when I'm engaging in negativity, I'm not engaging in dysfunction. I'm not participating in something that's clearly toxic. I'm not engaging in it. I'm not exacerbating. I'm not making it worse. I'm not adding fuel to the fire. It's easy to hate, but I recognize the strength in me as a man comes from a place of being kind and loving. See, love doesn't envy. It doesn't envy, meaning it has confidence in what God already has for it. See, that love that you have doesn't envy because you're confident that God will do a good work in the love and the matrimony you've created in your marriage. So you are confident that God will follow through if you remain in alignment with what he has for you, his will. It's not arrogant. Love is not arrogant. See, what does that mean? That means that there's no contemptuous behavior. You don't think that you're better than another person. Love is not rude. What does that mean? Means it's not passive-aggressive. Means it doesn't react negatively, doesn't take things personally. It also doesn't insist in its own way, meaning that things have to be my way, I have to win every argument, that I have to be the one that's right. It is not irritable. Love is not irritable, which means that I don't wake up in an emotional state of bitterness and anger and then blame it on everybody else in my life. It's not resentful. It doesn't hold on to resentment. It processes it. It talks it through. It works it through. It processes through the resentment. That love, healthy love. It doesn't rejoice at wrongdoing. It doesn't celebrate at other people's misfortune. It rejoices with the truth. My question for you is, what is truth in your life? Do you believe that your marriage is doomed? Do you believe your situation is doomed? What is your truth? Because there's a truth about what God has for you. And my question is, are you aligned with that truth? I don't know. That's between you and him. My question also for you right now is, how could you be confident in that truth if you're not loving your wife like Christ loves the church?
