Tim ArrigoYou help high-performing men confront and fix the internal patterns sabotaging their identity, relationships, and leadership so they become grounded, disciplined, and emotionally intelligent leaders in their lives.

What if my wife won’t change?!

Name: What if my wife won’t change?!
Uploaded: 2023-03-04T17:05:28+00:00
Duration: 1 min 43 s
Channel: Tim Arrigo
Description: In this coaching segment, the speaker addresses Tim’s frustration that his wife remains emotionally closed despite his own efforts to change. The speaker…

4 Mar 2023 · 2 min

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1:43

In this coaching segment, the speaker addresses Tim’s frustration that his wife remains emotionally closed despite his own efforts to change. The speaker urges Tim to shift his focus from seeking his wife’s response to committing fully to his own action steps and personal growth. He emphasizes the importance of patience, warning against expecting rapid transformation and highlighting that meaningful change takes years, not weeks. The speaker advises Tim to maintain hope as long as his wife is still present, but also to be prepared for a hard conversation about whether the marriage is salvageable if she remains unwilling to change. The overall message is to invest in the process, avoid an instant‑gratification mindset, and prioritize self‑improvement while realistically assessing the relationship’s future.

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But Tim, I've already started to make these changes. My wife is still like a brick wall. She's still so walled off and closed off. We're still so disconnected, and it's making me so upset because I'm making all the changes that I need to make and she's not making the changes she needs to make. Why are you so concerned with that? Why are you so committed to her response rather than being committed to the action steps that you need to take. Be committed to the action and not committed to her response. Regardless of whether or not she changes, don't you still want to change? Don't you still want to put your best foot forward? Don't you want to experience being the best version of yourself? And at some point in time, if she's still unwilling to change and you need to have that hard conversation, you need to ask her, is this salvageable? If your marriage has died because of a thousand razor cuts, if it's died a slow death and she's still around, there's still hope. If she's still around, there's still hope. So what? You need to continue to be invested in the process and not have an instant gratification mindset that just because you started making the change within a couple months, that somehow magically that's going to fix the relationship. It took years for you to get to where you're at, so how could you expect that in a couple weeks it would begin to change it? Have patience in the process. Don't give up and don't have an expectation. You don't get to injure other people and determine how fast they heal.