Tim Arrigo explains psychological projection: when we judge others harshly, we're usually seeing our own unwanted feelings or insecurities reflected back at us. We judge what we once did but hate, what we envy, or what we dislike in ourselves. The more judgmental you are, the less you've looked within.
How to never take something personal again. Someone's behavior is never a reflection of your worth and value. It's always a reflection of how they think and feel about themselves. This is called psychological projection. This is where somebody takes the unwanted qualities they have about themselves, the unwanted feelings they have about themselves, and they project it onto somebody else. Examples: somebody who feels unlovable and enters a relationship with someone and accuses that person of not loving them, not caring about them, not showing them attention, and even possibly cheating on them. Somebody who doesn't feel valuable and is asked in the workplace what they think of their boss, and they say, "Oh, my boss, they don't even know how to run this company." Person who doesn't feel confident and somebody walks in the room with an air of confidence And when asked what they think about that person, they say, I don't like that person. They were arrogant and cocky. See, what happens is someone doesn't look within, they don't reflect. And so what they do is they take the unwanted qualities, unconscious emotions and thoughts they have about themselves they don't want to look at, and they blame somebody else. They put it on somebody else. They judge somebody else. The more judgmental somebody is, the less self-aware they are. The more judgmental we become, the less self-aware we are. Because when you don't look within, you end up judging other people. Other people are just a mirror reflecting back to you parts of yourself that you either like or dislike. If you see something in somebody that you're judging, you're only judging it for one of three reasons. Either A, you see something in them that you used to do that you can't tolerate. B, you see something in them that you envy and don't believe is possible for you. Or C, you see something in them that you currently do that you don't like about yourself. The ego sees duality, consciousness sees unity, right? Other people are just a mirror reflecting back to you parts of you that you either like or dislike. So what are you really judging? Are you judging them, or are you really judging the unconscious qualities that you have about yourself? Because next time this happens, just ask yourself, have I ever done that? The answer is yes. Then I ask myself, do I like that about myself? Have I ever done that? The answer is no. Then there's your answer. I'm judging it because it's something that I would never do within myself and something that I would harshly judge myself for. See, when we remove judgment from the equation, we develop compassion. And see, when we develop compassion, we give people room to make mistakes, to fall short, to be fallible. So instead of blaming other people for how you feel, judging them for who they are, why don't you start looking within yourself and look at the unconscious qualities that are really surfacing? Because let me tell you, when we project on other people, it's because we're not self-aware, we're not in touch with ourselves, and that's a clear indication that someone's traumatized. So when someone projects on you Always remember that their behavior is never a reflection of their worth and value. Someone's behavior says nothing about you, it says everything about them. But why their behavior triggers you says everything about you and nothing about them. Someone's judgment of you is never a reflection of your worth and value, it's always a reflection of how they think and feel about themselves. We don't see the world as it is, we see the world as we are. What kind of world are you seeing?
