Why She Can’t Move Forward

If your wife is bringing up the past constantly, weaponizing the past, I want to explain to you why right now in this video. Number 1, in working with hundreds of clients, hundreds of couples— in fact, I just got a one-on-one earlier today— wives hold on to the past for one reason. I'm going to tell you why. It's because they're resentful. And in that resentment, they have nothing to cling on to today necessarily as a scapegoat, right, to justify why they're still not wanting to move forward in the marriage, why they're not wanting to reconcile. So they utilize the past, and what they're looking for is they're looking for the husband to confirm that what happened in the past is evidence of what's going to happen in the future. So truly, if your wife is holding on to the past, I'm telling you right now, and It's because she's resentful. And until you guys move past that resentment, you guys can't have a new relationship. Because we all know what happens because of the internet nowadays, right? Pop psychology. Every guy is a narcissist. Every guy is a monster who can never get better and never heal. And what this does is this pollutes and contaminates the way that women view their husbands. My wife is here with me right now, and my wife and I were just talking about this. We're actually on our way out to dinner right now, uh, for our anniversary, which Happy anniversary. I love you.

Happy anniversary.

But my wife had a couple gems that she was going to drop on this. So babe, go ahead and share your feedback on this.

Yeah, I think that a lot of women have resentments and things that they hold on to because these things were never resolved. And women carry these things around for years, and women will just bring up things from the past, from years ago or a decade ago. And because they were never resolved in the past, women, they just continue to hang on and bring it up over and over again. And This is detrimental to a relationship because it's just constantly going to cause strife and unforgiveness. And I think what a lot of women need to do is to take themselves outside of themselves, because with these resentments, like, they're very much— it's very self-centered. You're thinking about me, me, me. And in a relationship, there needs to be forgiveness. There needs— you need to let go of the ego a little bit and get get yourself outside of yourself and be thinking as a couple or a group. And I think, yeah, like, women really just need to get outside of themselves and outside of their own ego. The ego is what is hanging on to those resentments so tight.

Yeah, and what is the resentment? It's like drinking poison, hoping that the other person dies, right? Holding on to resentment only keeps us sick. It only keeps us in a place of constant stress and anger and bitterness and what is that doing for us? It's not serving us. It's not making us a better person. Another reason why we have to put God at the center of our relationship, at the center of our marriage. And forgiveness comes along with that. Doesn't mean forgetting, it means forgiving, which is what forgiveness is— to really set a prisoner free, only to discover that that prisoner was you. Forgiveness is like holy medicine. It's dialysis for your soul and spirit. Right? It's, it's realizing that you kept yourself in emotional incarceration and the bondage of your unforgiveness, and therefore you are still being affected by what's taking place. But you got to see beyond that. You got to forgive. You got to forgive if you want to be healthy. You got to forgive if you want to have a marriage. You got to forgive if you want to be able to see your spouse with new eyes.

And by forgiving, you are putting your marriage above a singular event that happened in the past. You're putting marriage up here instead of one single event that happened in the past that is long gone. Tell them your marriage is today. Your marriage is everything beside— it's God and then your marriage.

Amen.