Tim Arrigo tells men that when you break down your wife, you're really projecting your own insecurity and fear. True leadership means looking inward at your own pain, being brutally honest about your wounds, and choosing vulnerability over anger.
You break your wife down because you're really just insecure. What type of man needs to treat a woman poorly and put her down to feel better about himself? What type of man needs to exalt himself over his wife in an attempt to be superior? What type of man can't listen can't introspect, can't self-reflect, can't admit that he's wrong, that he falls short, and that he's fallible and is not perfect? What type of man— what type of man needs to lie, not tell the truth, not be honest, not be real, not be transparent, not be vulnerable, and not lead his wife to a better life? What type of man would want his wife to feel uncomfortable, insecure, broken, fragile, defeated, sad? What type of man would need to do that? Only a man who is confused about being what being a man is. Only a man who felt that he needed to do that with the world, with other men, but got confused about the fact that he never needed to do it with a woman. Your wife should be your prized possession, should be the thing that you protect, you honor, you love, that you adore. Your wife, your wife is your partner. Those vows that you said on your wedding day Till death do us part. Well, but what about if she's actually waiting for you to die so she can part with you because it's that painful for her? Partially the reason why She doesn't leave you. And why she stays in that dynamic is because she has hopes that you'll return back to the man that she married. And I know a lot of guys are watching this video and they're like, but Tim, and they want to go back to blaming their wives. And this video isn't for you. This video is for real leaders who want to step up to the plate and take extreme ownership for why their relationship is— And if you're anything like me, then you know the influence that your leadership can have. If you're anything like me, then you're a man that wants to take extreme ownership and fix the problem. You're not an excuse-having, blame-shifting child who goes online and escapes and projects on other people, because no one with high self-esteem would have the need to do that. You're transparent. The only type of man that would need to treat his wife like that is a man who feels truly broken on the inside. And believe me, brother, I've been there, taking out my anger on everybody in my life. And see, the only real reason that you're angry is because you're hurt and afraid. You're afraid to connect. You're afraid to let people get close to you. You're afraid. You're afraid of being wounded. You're afraid. You're scared. You're scared. And that's part of the reason Why you're still choosing not to change? Because you're afraid to look inside yourself. How good can a man be if he can't look inside himself and be brutally honest? And here's the thing, brother. The sad part about that is there's a lot of light in the darkness. Maybe one of the biggest problems is because of everything you've been through in your life, maybe you're just not truly connected with your greatness. And maybe you can't organize around the idea that people would love you unconditionally despite what you do. And so you try to sabotage it, you try to push them away because you can't organize around the idea that people in your life would truly love you and care for you regardless. So maybe the reality is, before you push everybody away in your life, maybe you should try connecting with yourself first. Maybe you should try looking inside and being brutally honest about the things that you're running from, because that'll truly give you everything you want.
