A therapist helps a man see how childhood abandonment by his mother drives his current mistrust of his wife. He uses past conflicts as proof she'll leave him, which triggers anger in fights. His fear has spread to money, where he resents that she won't fully trust him with finances.
How do you think it's related to your childhood?
I know it's related to my mom. I know that it's related to not being able to trust that women were going to be there. Abandonment.
Yeah, it's the confirmation bias. It's that you utilize that one piece of the relationship, which was the very origin of the relationship, and you use that as evidence to confirm your greatest fear, which is what? That I'll get hurt, that I'll get left, that I'll get abandoned, and I'll— in the end, I'll get I'll get screwed over. And then when you get angry with your wife, that comes out. And it comes out because you use the current fight, and then you use that as an anchor point. And then you say like, yeah, and like that one time.
Well, when it comes to trust, like, why don't you trust me with the money fully? Why don't you trust me with this? Why don't you— do we have to talk about it? Is this— do you want to talk about this? Like, if you're asking me why I I don't fully trust you. You know what it is. Do you want me to bring it up? Okay, well, if you do, then I can bring it up.
If you don't let that go, then what happens?
It continues to be a problem that doesn't ever fix itself, and you can't fully love your wife.
