A coach explains why shame and guilt aren't flaws to eliminate but signals that push you to change. Without the discomfort of shame tied to bad habits, you'd have no reason to stop them. Use shame as a compass pointing toward who you actually want to become.
So I'm talking to a client earlier today, and he tells me that the most difficult thing that he's experiencing right now is battling with shame and guilt. And he asked me, he said, "How do I get rid of the shame and guilt?" So his mindset was basically that the shame and guilt was a negative thing. Most people look at shame and guilt this way, and I'm not talking about shame and guilt that you feel about something that happened to you. I'm talking about shame and guilt that you feel in regard to your daily habits, your negative behaviors. That are causing you to slowly self-destruct. So he says, how do I get rid of the shame and guilt? And I told him, I said, that shame and guilt's the best thing you got going for you right now. He was kind of like, wait, what? And I said, let me ask you this. How many negative behaviors in your life would you choose to change if you didn't feel shame about them? The answer is none. See, shame actually is a powerful motivator that reminds us who we don't want to be and actually forces us towards taking the right action steps in our life, right? Shame motivates us to modify the behaviors in our life that are not serving us. Why do you think you feel shame about it? So next time you feel shame and guilt about something that you're doing, don't see it as a negative thing, and don't try to eliminate the shame. See the shame as an indication of who you don't want to be and as motivation to modify the behavior that's causing you to feel shame, so you can live more in alignment with the person that God created you to be.
