Stop waiting for your spouse to change. The real problem is your mindset that makes you a victim. Real change starts when you model the behavior you want, take responsibility, and lead yourself regardless of what your partner does.
But Tim, how can I fix my marriage if my wife is unwilling to change? And see, the problem isn't in that problem. The problem is in the mindset that made you ask that question in the first place. So how can I change if my wife isn't willing to change? So you're still putting the responsibility of the change into your wife's hands. You're still assuming that things can't get better unless your wife changes. So you're basically minimizing and not really recognizing the strength of strong leadership, the strength of having a powerful leader in the home, someone who models the behavior, who models the change. You want to see the change? You change first. When do things change? When you change. When you stop making excuses and waiting for other people to change before you do. So you need somebody else's approval before you first take the steps necessary to better yourself, using your wife as a shield and basically hiding behind her because you don't have the strength and the mindset and the courage and the confidence to believe in yourself and know that you have what it takes. It's irrelevant whether or not your wife is on board, because here's the deal: whether or not you're with your wife, don't you want to be a better version of yourself, regardless of who you're with. What really matters is your determination towards making the changes that you want to make, and stop waiting for somebody else to change before you do. Because what's that doing? That's making you a victim. That's making you— basically, you're, you're surrendering your strength, you're surrendering your life and, and the changes and the choices that you have into the hands of somebody else and their process. Your wife isn't going to make the choice to change because you're supposed to do that first, man. You're waiting around for your wife to change. What if my wife doesn't want to change? Seriously? You should question yourself for even asking that question. Stop expecting everything around you to change before you decide to make a change. Waiting for the perfect opportunity, man. You keep kicking that can down the road with every every excuse that you can come up with. And believe me, they all sound really valid to the victim mindset. They all sound really valid where you're— when you're not ready to show up and go to war with a lesser version of you.
