The Power of the ”Takeaway” in Peer Groups with Marty Griffin

Hello and welcome to Mastermind Mastery, the podcast for professionals who want to create and run successful peer advisory councils, or as we call them, PACs for short, or they're also known as peer groups or business mastermind groups. I'm your host, Tina Corner Stolz, founder of Elixir Council, where I've been in the industry running groups since 2005 and now help those like you with education, certification, and support wanting to do the same. At one time, I ran 10 groups, nearly 100 members, and sold my groups For a Good Multiple and recently released my second book, Your Seat at the Table: How to Create and Run Your Own Peer Advisory Councils, published by Forbes, and grateful to you that it's an Amazon bestseller. I invite you to join each week where we share strategies and techniques to successfully launch and become a master of running your PACTs. You'll hear insights, perspectives, dos and don'ts, learn from my and my guests' mistakes, successes, and get the inside track to key takeaways. Each time we have a guest, we'll be having a bit of fun.

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Let's get going and dive into today's episode. Hello everyone, it's Tina here. We have a special event coming up in November in St. Petersburg, Florida. It's the first ever national open conference for anyone wanting to run and already running peer groups or mastermind groups. Join us for 2 days, VIP reception with the keynote speakers, and a full day of upping your game and running groups with peers like you who are experienced or just want to get more knowledge before starting their journey and creating their first group. This conference is for you if one, you're already running groups and you want to be better, or you want to be the best. You want to learn from other experienced moderators and get insight tips to the latest meeting techniques, or two, if you're thinking about creating and running groups and want all the knowledge on how to do it right. And learn from veterans, then this conference is for you. But time's running out. There's only a few VIP tickets available and the conference has limited capacity. So as soon as we hit it, we're going to have to close registration. So join us in downtown St. Pete, November 9th through 11th. It's the best self-development gift you can give yourself. And don't you want to be the best at running groups? See you in November.

So welcome everyone to Mastermind Mastery. I am your host Tina Corner Stolz, and today we have Marty Griffin, um, with us. And Marty, you know, I think everybody could definitely tell it's Bruce Springsteen, you know, but what's the song and why is it important?

Well, just little FYI, I've seen Bruce over 30 times, so he's— it's very inspirational. Yeah, yeah, it's— yeah, Bruce Springsteen live is a pretty inspiring thing. But that song has always had a grab for me since I was, I don't know, I probably heard it when I was 16 years old. Uh, cause I think it captures a life in a nutshell, which is life isn't easy and you're going to get knocked down and the key is to get back up. There's always redemption in that song. There's always redemption, but nothing about that song is easy. It's, you know, it's hard. Life can be hard and you get knocked down. When I think about myself and the business we're in, you know, when you're running a business, any, you know, you're going to get knocked down. And great leaders find a way to get back up. But I always get energy from that song to get back up.

Excellent. Well, I can't imagine you seeing him. When was the last time you saw him?

Well, I didn't see this last tour, so I guess it was before COVID It was probably 2016 or '17. He didn't tour again for a few years.

Right.

Yeah.

Yeah.

And he just toured recently, but I couldn't get there.

Yeah. And the song is very appropriate for the 4 peer groups, and you currently lead CEO peer groups. And so to your point, CEO is running a business, and, you know, the song is applicable to all the challenges that that has, right? And the rewards. So today we're talking about kind of what I always— this is one— this is my favorite, one of my favorite topics, and I'm passionate about it, meaning— so I'm excited you're here to talk about it today, which is really kind of the to me, the number one thing you have to do to end a meeting successfully. And there's so many positives and reasons why to do this, which is what we call takeaways. Right. And so what, Marty, explain to, like, the audience, our listeners today, like, what is the— what's takeaway mean? Like, what even is it?

Like, yeah, I'll do it. And I'll give it a warning once I start, which it's easy to skip it. When you're being, uh, when you're running a meeting. And it's probably the most important thing in my mind when you're running a meeting.

Yes.

And what it is is it, it brings this 4-hour meeting where people are working really hard and there's a lot of information coming at them. It, it brings it to a close. It takes, it takes this wide open meeting and narrows it down for people. And what am I gonna take for this meeting for myself? What is my biggest takeaway that I'm gonna leave here today and bring back to my company, to my family, to my place, place of work? And it's very valuable because our mind's processing information all the time. And the older you get, there's less room up there. So it creates a focus for you as you leave the meeting.

Yes. And, you know, and we have on every one of our episodes, like, key takeaways that we want to make sure everybody gets. And so when you have a new member starting, let's say, how do you describe what you're asking them? To articulate when you say, what is your takeaway?

Yeah. So I usually ask them, say you're the new member, Tina, just reflect on the meeting of the last 4 hours. Take a few minutes and write down a couple of things that for you are the biggest things you want to take with you as a result of this meeting. And then pick one, the one thing that from this meeting you want to take with you and bring back to your life and to your business.

Right. So Here's the member. They're thinking about that, right? It's the end of the meeting. And so a couple of things we'll get into, which is, first of all, so why is it important, do you think, to even ask the members to do that takeaway?

Uh-huh.

Yeah, I think there's some research by a neuroscientist named Joe Dispenza who says, um, we are— there's 400 4 billion bits of information that come at us in every second. We're able to remember 2,000 of them every second, or not, not remember, be aware of 2,000 of them. So in the course of a 4-hour meeting, there's a lot of information that's rolling.

Yeah.

Through our brain. And it's just really important to decide selectively what you want to put your attention to. Of all the information, all the good ideas, what is it you want to focus on and put your mind to as, at the end of a meeting.

Right. Because to your point, right, so much is coming at us. You have to be able to sift through to decide, right, what's the most important pieces for me to remember and do something with. And so the other piece, right, behind all this is the whole taking time to reflect.

Yeah.

Right. So why did I just spend this time right, in a strategic meeting, and what am I going to— what did I get out of it, right? But you could get the tactical things out of it of just kind of different things and actions and whatever that you receive with everybody else's perspective. But a takeaway is a little different because it's very personal, right, about what I'm walking away with. So what does it— what do you think it tells the member when they articulate what their takeaway is? What do you think happens with them and why? That's a great question. From their perspective. Yeah.

It's a great question because clearly to pick a takeaway from a meeting, there's some processing that goes on and there's some evaluation that goes on and there's some weighting of what's important to me. Like what is important? It's almost a sharpen the saw moment where you take, you step back.

Yeah.

And you, and you look at all of it. So what, what a member is doing or what I do when I'm doing it is I'm, I'm processing the information. I'm seeing all sorts of things, but what's really important to me? You know, what, what has value to me? What, what had grabbed for me? What do I align with on all that and say, okay, here is the thing I'm gonna go. And, you know, we're so busy, we're business owners, CEOs. If you don't do that, you leave the meeting, you start driving home, you return 3 phone calls, and you almost don't even remember, you know, the content of the meeting the way you, you have the opportunity to right there at the end of the meeting.

Right, exactly. And so what, You know, when you're in the meeting and you're getting all of this from the members, right? What does it tell you as the moderator in that meeting when you hear everything? So how does it help you or what does it tell you? What have you found?

For me, it's a really great opportunity for self-evaluation about the success of the meeting. You know, so if some of the takeaways are meaty, that's exciting.

Yeah.

And it doesn't always have to be meaty. I, I believe in the law of little things. It, it can be what's seemingly a little thing and it can turn into much bigger things. So it's, are the members getting value from this meeting is a big part of it. And are they taking things away that they, that are actionable for them? And that, that's what, that's what it gives me at the end of a meeting as a moderator. Yeah. So I, and it also helps, it also helps me follow up with them. So you might say my biggest takeaway is, I'm not talking to my employees enough or something like that. Next time I see you, I can bring it up with you and say, how's that going? And that just reinforces the takeaway.

Exactly. And I know that when I was running meetings and I would get that, it would tell me what was important. Obviously, sometimes they would say something. I'm like, huh, well, that's kind of surprising because I thought that was kind of a minor part of the meeting. That's really true. Right? Or they just kind of was a minor, small discussion, but yet it had such a big impact. And so as a moderator running, sometimes it kind of tells you what's important to them, but also gives you that insight as to, well, that was surprising, or I would have thought everybody would have said this and they didn't. They said something totally different. And so definitely gives you insight. So have you ever had anybody say they, they couldn't think of something?

Yeah, I have had that.

Exactly.

I have had that.

And so then what do you do? Like, yeah.

Oh yeah. So what I do is first of all, make sure they know it's okay if they can't think of anything. Right. And, um, then I kind of like, then I'll kind of ask them questions about the meeting. So when Tina did, did her issue with her employee, you know, what are some of the things you took from that? And when, when so-and-so talked about, um, the issue he's having with his board, Was there anything in that conversation? So I just trigger their memory a little bit to get them, get them refreshing, keep them in the room for a minute. And usually that works. That usually works pretty well for me when I do that. Yeah.

Yeah. And sometimes you just have to— sometimes people have to just think. You have to give them time and silence, which can be hard at the end of a meeting to allow for that space for everybody to just take a minute to come up with that. Great answer. So a better answer than if you try to get them to do it right off too quick, off the cuff, right? And so it's okay to allow.

I think that's, that goes back to my earlier comment about don't skip it. Sometimes you work on these really hard challenges or opportunities that people have, and it's such a victory when we get through them that it's easy, you know, it's getting close to the end and it's easy not to be disciplined as a moderator in that moment, you know? And so you're totally right. I like to get quiet for a few minutes and just take out a pen and paper, write down takeaways from your biggest takeaway, and just keep my own mouth shut and make sure I make the time for it. I think it's huge.

Usually. So why is that? So kind of as we're coming to hear about the whole takeaway, why do you think it's, you know, why is it last, the very last thing that you do?

Yeah, I think, I think two things. It locks in the big things from the meeting for the member. Like it helps them really see that it helps them sift through all the information and go, boom, this and that, it greatly increases the likelihood that they'll implement that takeaway and, and create that action. If you don't do it, they might not even think of it. But if you make it a point to focus on it, this is the one.

Yes.

Then I think your chances of really implementing it are dramatically increased as a result.

Mm-hmm.

Yeah.

Well, and you, It ends the meeting on a positive. It reminds them the very last thing that the time they spent was valuable.

Oh, it sure does.

Right.

So the time I was here, this is like what I got out. I could have never gotten otherwise right out of it. And so it's just a big way to positively have the meeting be such a big bang at the end. Right. And the value. And I know that if I had ever had a member who really had a hard time coming up with something. Like, sometimes a member will come up with something and you're like, well, that was kind of lame, right? Like, I think I could tell you something better that you got out of there. But it also gives you insight as to maybe they were distracted, right, during the meeting and they had a hard time being present, which means why? What's that reason and stuff? And so that maybe is another follow-up to your point. That you mentioned earlier when somebody says, hey, I want to talk to my employees more. Next time I'm going to ask, how's that going? Kind of thing.

And if they're distracted, maybe that's an issue to bring to the group too next time. Work it with the group. Let's work that with the group.

So the very last kind of question is like, what kind of happens when, if you skip this step? So typically it gets skipped if there's stress in the meeting and the meeting is like gone long and you feel like you have to wrap it up or you're feeling right pressure when people are like, I gotta go, I gotta go. And so if you, you know, if you feel that need to like, I can't do this or whatever, and it just, what happens if it just doesn't happen? What do you think?

I think the effectiveness of the meeting is lessened. It's like your brain's just, it's like there's so much rolling around in your brain. If you don't take the discipline to just quiet down, right? And focus for just a few minutes, you know, I think the value drops because there's just a ton of information up there. By the time you go to the office the next day, a lot of it's not up there still. 'Cause so much is going on. It goes back to the amount of stuff you're dealing with all the time. So it's like the meeting, you can think back about the meeting without a takeaway. It can be almost like blobby, like not clear. And you get way more clarity if you take the time to do it.

Yeah, exactly. And this is a good practice to do with every meeting regardless. It doesn't have to be the whole peer group concept. You could teach the CEOs, like, this is a great thing to do in your team meetings, right? Or especially brainstorming meetings, or you're trying to solve a challenge inside the company. Always kind of ending like, what What did it, what's everybody taken away from the meeting today? That kind of thing works internally as well.

No question.

Right.

You know, if you say you have a 2-day, 3-day sales meeting with your team or something at the end of every day, do it.

Mm-hmm.

Because it'll make them roll through the whole day.

Mm-hmm.

Think about it and write things down that are valuable. So yes, this is not just a CEO group best practice, the best practice, you know, in general, I think. Right.

And we always talk about as we kind of like wrap up, because I wanna ask you what, what, and I will laugh when I say this, what do you think the audience should take away from today's session? But your biggest piece of advice or insight and from running groups you would like to pass on to our listeners. But the other thing about takeaways is that's usually where the aha moments happen.

Yeah.

Because they're usually something that caused them to reflect and to get kind of to a deeper level internally that was like, oh, I need to do this, or this is why that happened, or this is an opportunity that I kind of need to seize, or now I understand better why this situation is the way it is. That's usually their aha moments, which is what you're trying to create throughout the entire meeting with everybody anyway. So love takeaways, the whole concept, you know, how we, how you end a meeting. And so as we wrap up, what would be that one piece of advice or insight you want to share with our listeners today?

Boy, that is a wonderful question, Tina. And we're not talking about takeaways about takeaways, just, just anything. Yeah, I think I think it's so hard to remember this piece of advice, which is the journey is the destination. You know, we're always trying to get someplace, but everything's happening in the here and now. Everything's happening in the here and now. And sometimes we miss a lot of things because we're so worried about the future. We're so worried about X and Y. And I, so I think that journey, the journey is a destination. And if I can do a second one, we're not necessarily trained to take care of ourselves, you know, as leaders. We just go on and fight the next fight and just Taking a, you know, engaging in care of yourself, I think is really important, especially as you meet those challenges and those adversities and you get knocked down a few times.

Mm-hmm.

So that's my words of wisdom for the day.

Excellent. Well, thank you for sharing those. Love, love having you, Marty. Um, so Marty Griffin again, Griffin Executive Group. How, if somebody wanted to reach you, how would they do that?

Yeah.

Uh, you can go to my website, which is griffinexecutives.com, uh, or you, or, or, um, You can email me at marty@griffinexecutives.com, and I'll promptly return your call. And can't thank you enough, Tina, for what we're doing together here at Elix Council. It's really wonderful to be working with businesses to help them be the next best version of themselves. It's really fun to do that. So thank you.

You're welcome. It's a joy to work with you. So thanks. Thanks everyone for listening to today's episode about takeaways with Marty as our guest. And as always, Go make it happen, and we'll be back here next week this time.

Thanks, Tina.

Hey, moderators of groups, thank you so much for listening to today's podcast.

To get access to today's show notes and exclusive content and resources, visit TinaCornerStolz.com/podcast or LXcouncil.com, where you can also become part of an exclusive online community, attend our academy, or get free resources, templates, checklists, and more. And you can even contact me there as well. So if this episode resonated with you and you know someone who can also benefit from listening, please share with them by taking a screenshot and even posting on your social media. I also love reviews and appreciate hearing from each of you. Those actually doing this wonderful work. Please tune in next week for another episode of Mastermind Mastery. And I'll close by sharing something my mentor did after every learning moment. He shared a shiny pebble from his pocket with anyone he passed knowledge to and asked them to forward that pebble—knowledge—on. So now I encourage you to go pass on a pebble. The takeaways you learned today to either your existing groups or fellow peers. Now, go make it a great one.