Do You Have An Optimistic Spouse?

Of the Daily Mail, a British newspaper. But it's based on research from the University of Michigan and Harvard here in the United States. And what they found is that people with optimistic spouses are less at risk for dementia because their partners encourage healthy habits and share stronger memories with them. Interesting, interesting research. They think that happier partners also tend to have better habits. Well, to me this is completely intuitive because when you are. You heard me talk about this before. It is so much easier to follow good habits when you're happier. If you're happier, it's easier to be productive, it's easier to write, it's easier to get out of the house and go for a walk. If you're feeling in a bad mood, it's easy to say, oh, to heck with everything, let me eat a bunch of M&Ms. And watch junk TV. So to me, this is completely intuitive. People are more likely to pick up their partner's habits, good or bad. Now that definitely seems to ring true as far as everything I've noticed in my own relationships and with other people, that the person with bad habits is likely to bring the other person down. But sometimes someone with good habits will elevate the other person. You've seen this where sometimes a couple gets together. One person loves to exercise, the other person is horribly out of shape. The person who loves to exercise is a great role model. And the person who's out of shape starts to work out more, exercise more, and keep up. So it can in fact work both ways. Now, this survey was conducted on more than 4,000 heterosexual couples for to eight years. So it wasn't just 13 grad students in a semester. It's a pretty serious study. And what they found is that people who were married to optimists fared much better on cognitive tests as their lives went on. And they believe it's because their home environments are healthier and less stressful. If you're around a pessimist who's always talking about, oh, the world's going to end, this virus will kill us, global warming will kill us, what's the point? What's the. And I'm not, folks. I'm not saying global warming doesn't exist, but I'm saying if someone is pessimistic about things can only get worse, then it frankly becomes less rational to have good habits. If we're all going to die in 5 years or 10 years, why bother having good habits now? So to me, this makes complete intuitive sense that you are much better off being around an optimistic person. Now, according to Dr. William Chobolt, who's an assistant professor at Michigan State University. When you're with an optimistic mate, they might encourage us to exercise healthier or remind us to take our medicine. When your partner is optimistic, optimistic and healthy, it can translate to similar outcomes in your own life. In fact, in one 2014 study, they found, at least for women, smokers were more likely if their spouse had been a smoker and quit than if they were married to someone who had never smoked. So as an example, if you quit smoking or start smoking, your partner will be more likely to follow suit within weeks, months. So it's kind of hard to change your partner if your partner is not optimistic, because if someone's pessimistic or negative, just saying be more optimistic doesn't help. I do believe you can become a better partner by working on your own optimism. Optimism can be something somewhat innate, but you can also push the edges. You can also tweak it. You can adjust the dial. Part of it is as simple as giving yourself a daily habit. This is something I do. I literally on my cell phone, in my to do list every single day. What are you optimistic about right now? And it just causes me to reflect and say, oh, you know what? This new online course is going well. I really like where the show's going here. If you're thinking specifically about what is going well and what you anticipate going well, what you're optimistic about, then that just puts you in a better frame of mind and it makes you more open to positive change for everything else in your life. When you really think about it, any great creator is at some level an optimist. You don't. You're not Henry Ford, you're not the Wright brothers, you're not Edison. If you're not optimistic that you can create something in the world that's better than what has already been created. Now, I understand certain famous celebrity creators and artists might be nasty people to be around. I understand that can happen. And some creative movie stars and singers and other celebrities might not seem optimistic to be around them, but at some level, they are. They are convinced they can take something out of nothing. Their voice notes a piece of paper, an empty computer screen, and create something that people are going to like. You can't do that if you have a pessimistic outlook. Because if you're pessimistic, you say, no one's going to like it. Why bother? And when that happens, your world gets smaller. And many of you on TikTok, you may have grandparents where you've seen it. Maybe great grandparents at your age, where people get pessimistic at some point and they think, well, the world's not as good as it used to be. The world's more violent this and dirtier this. It's easy to become pessimistic. And when you're pessimistic, you shut down, you stop creating, you stop trying new things, you stop learning new things, and you make your world smaller until before you know it, you are sitting at home a lot, watching a lot of tv, and the world becomes a darker place. That, unfortunately, is the perfect breeding ground for Alzheimer's, dementia, other diseases that result in cognitive deficiency. So, hey, if you can find. If you don't have a spouse and you're looking for one, maybe more important than looks or even charm, is that person optimistic. And second of all, do whatever you can to be more optimistic in your own life, because A, it's going to help you, but B, it's going to help the person you love the most, presumably your spouse. So some good news there from. From the University of Michigan.