TJ Walker breaks down four concrete steps: look at the speaker, nod, summarize what they said in your own words, and ask if you got it right. Good listening shows respect, keeps people around, and actually makes meetings work.
Chapters
So you're in a meeting, a colleague is talking, they're putting forth their ideas. How do you really let that person know that you are listening to them, that you are respecting them? Well, for starters, you need to look right at them. Do what so many people are doing in meetings these days, which is uh huh, uh huh. And trying to multitask, looking at email, text, other information. So look at them. Nod if you think you're getting the point. That's step two. Step three, try to summarize their point. I don't mean word for word like you were a stenographer, but in your own words, summarize what they said. That's step three. Step four. Then ask them, am I understanding it right? Did I get it right? So it's not just that you are listening, it's not just that you understood, it's that they now clearly see you're trying to make sure you are understanding them because you're asking them. And if they say yes, that's exactly my point. Now we know there is a connection. Now the person knows you're not only trying to understand them, you're not only trying to respect them, you have understood them. Actual communication takes place. This is what's going to make you effective leader. This is what's going to make you effective at running meetings, whether you're a facilitator, CEO or anyone else. Because all human beings want to be heard. They want to be respected. They want the status of knowing. My ideas are important and one of the reasons many corporations lose top talent. It's not necessarily because of paying, it's not necessarily because of the perks or the fresh sandwiches or the beer at lunchtime. No, it's because people feel like they are not listened to. They feel like their ideas don't matter. They feel like they are not a force in the organization. And sometimes it is simply a matter of listening to people in a deeper way, a more meaningful way. Now you need to act upon their ideas as well. It's not enough to simply listen, but the first step is making sure people truly understand that you're listening to them. You're getting their ideas, you are focused on them. We live in an attention economy and something that is almost more than money these days, it's attention from other human beings. And if your colleagues feel like you're not giving them attention, they're going to feel slighted, they're going to feel ignored, they're going to feel undervalued. So that's why you've got to do everything you can to give attention anytime someone's speaking to you. If you want to be more successful, then improve your communication skills. The best way to do that, smash the subscribe button right now.
