A short motivational monologue by TJ Walker (Habit Influencer) arguing that people live by self-told stories which shape habits; by "editing" those narratives (e.g., trying intermittent fasting despite a lifelong belief he couldn't skip breakfast) one can form healthier habits and achieve goals. He urges listeners to discard limiting self-narratives and consciously write new, actionable life stories.
Chapters
This is the Habit Influencer. This is the show where we talk to you about all the latest information, insights, techniques on how to have positive habits in your life. Habits that will give you more fulfillment, better health, better career, better personal relationship. You can edit the story of your life. That's right, you have a story for your life. We all have stories. We tell ourselves about our own life and then our habits, our actions, our activities tend to follow up from that story. They tend to flow from that story. They're consistent with that story. So for example, I have had a story I've told my whole life about how I like to eat. The story is I'm someone with a very rigid, strict stomach clock. I'm someone who has never missed a meal in his life. I have to eat breakfast. If I don't have breakfast by 9am, I double over with pain. I am a complete shutdown mode. I'm not able to function. I must have lunch by 12:30 or the latest one o'. Clock. I must have dinner every evening, typically by six, but sometimes seven or eight. But I've never missed a meal. That's pretty much the life story I had for the last 50 plus years. I like to eat. Eating is good. I don't like my stomach to be empty. My stomach, my mother was the same way. She had what she referred to as her stomach clock, which is probably where I got that. She didn't miss meals. Now, she happened to be a proper weight her whole life, but she was someone who didn't skip meals. Well, you've heard me talk about how I don't like gimmicks. I don't like to try new health habits that are not sustainable. I don't want to try something that seems extreme and then you give up after a month or two months or six months. And that's frankly the problem with the Atkins diet and the caveman diet, the paleo diet, the no carbs. That's the problem with all these diets is they're not sustainable. But as I told you recently, I've heard so much about this whole concept of fasting, of limited fasting where you limit all your calorie consumption to a six to eight hour block of time in the day and you're essentially fasting for 18 hours. It's called intermittent fasting. You're intermittently fasting throughout the day. All it really means, it's a fancy way of saying you're skipping breakfast. And I always tell myself, absolutely impossible. For me, I couldn't possibly skip breakfast. I would Just not literally die, but come close to it. Well, a little more than a week ago at this point, not quite two weeks ago, I'd read yet another article from James Clear and a number of other habits experts and health experts saying, in fact, intermittent fasting is excellent way of consuming the proper number of calories you need in our modern society. It's a great way of losing weight. It's a great way of speeding up metabolism and being healthier. And I also noticed that even though I cut out snacks from my diet, even though I cut out sugar from my diet, even though I'm pretty disciplined about eating healthy food and not having more than a plate of food for meals, I noticed I still was five to seven pounds away from my target ideal weight. So I thought, okay, I'll give it a try. I'll give this intermittent fasting a try. But I'm very skeptical because I am just a human being who cannot miss a meal or I'll die. And so I tried it for the first time, I guess about nine days ago. And you know what I found out? I can miss a meal. I really wasn't even that hungry. Now, in intermittent fasting, you're allowed to drink coffee, no sugar or cream, water. You just don't want to consume more than about 50 calories or so outside of that eight hour window when you are eating your two main meals. And so I did this. And you know what I found? I didn't see my energy level go down. I didn't get grumpy. I didn't feel so weak. I couldn't move at 10 in the morning. It was just a little bit different. What I did notice is that I functioned fine. What I did notice is I have a lot more time because I don't have to worry about what I'm going to fix and eat and clean up for breakfast. Now, I'm not doing it to save time. I'm doing it as a test to be healthier and to get even closer to my ideal weight and health. But I couldn't do it until I edited my life story of who I am. We all tell ourselves stories. For years. I told myself I'm just not good with names. I'm not good with names. Well, guess what? That's a story I told myself. I started telling myself I am good with names. I do remember everyone's name. And you know what? At the age of 57, my memory has gotten a lot better with names. Your memory is not supposed to be getting better with age. And yet it can. If you tell yourself that now. For years I've told myself I'm just not good with languages. I'm not a language person. I was not a natural. I didn't grow all sorts of excuses. And you know what? It had an impact. I, in fact, have done a horrible job of learning languages. But you know what? It's just a story. It's just a story I tell myself in the same way people tell themselves. Oh, I'm not a natural public speaker. I'm not natural entrepreneur. I'm not someone who should be out front. I'm a behind the scenes kind of person. Well, maybe, but maybe not. I'm not interested in trying to force you into becoming someone you don't want to be. What I am interested in is you becoming the person you want to be, regardless of these preconceived notions you've told yourself about who you are now. I still haven't learned a foreign language really well. I know a few words of Spanish. But I'll tell you what, I am convinced that if I really wanted to learn a foreign language, I could. I've got to change that story I tell about myself. At the moment, I don't have a strong desire. It's one of the unfortunate aspects of being an American in this 21st century where so many other people around the world have learned English, speak English and are happy to speak to someone with an American accented English background. So I'm spoiled there. But who knows? At some point I may need to become fluent in Mandarin or Cantonese or some other language. I'm convinced I can learn. Maybe not to the point where I speak like a native, but I can learn. But the first step, I've got to edit that story. What is the story you tell about yourself? Do you have a story that, oh, I'm not good with money. Therefore, of course, I never pay my bills on time. Therefore, of course my credit rating is too high. Therefore I can never buy my dream house because I can't get approved for. If that's the story you're telling yourself, stop it. Take that story, lift it up and throw it away. It's not helping you, it is hurting you. You can write your own story in life. I don't mean every fantasy. I can't say, at my age of 57, I'm going to be a center in an NBA basketball team. I'm going to be the star goalie for a World cup soccer. No, I can't write that kind of a story. But as far as almost anything else, I want to do in life or want to be in life. I can edit my story. The stories we have are quite malleable, but we have to realize it's clay and take it and shape it the way we want. The problem most of us have is we think our story is written in stone. We tell ourselves our story is written in stone. I'm someone who's not good with money. I'm someone who can never have money. I'm someone who isn't good at relationships or I can never find romance. We tell ourselves stories and it becomes self perpetuating. You've got to stop the story. You've got to edit the story and create a new narrative that helps promote the goals you're really after in life. You've got to change the story so that other habits even have a potential. If you tell yourself your backyard is an absolute desert and it's nothing but sand and it hasn't rained in 100 years, it's never going to occur to you to plant a flower or a tree or a yard. It's so crazy, why bother? But what if your backyard isn't a desert? What if it's just dirt and no one bothered to plant anything? Before you have the power to edit your life story, you need to edit the life story to conform to what you want in this life. That's about all for now. But if you like this and you want to see more, please follow me on any of the links you see below. I'm TJ Walker. See you soon.
