Master Body Language for Leadership: Speak with Confidence Without Saying a Word

Welcome to the TJ Walker Success Podcast. What you're about to hear is a powerful excerpt from the course Body Language Non Verbal Communication for Leaders. If you're ready to transform how you lead, present and connect, this is your moment to unlock the full course and elevate your leadership presence. Click the link in the description. Let's dive in.

Let's start off with a quick win. One way of projecting leadership with your body language. Very simple.

Just have a little bit of a.

Smile on your face when people meet you, when people see you, when you're on video, when you're in front of a crowd. This is important because it signals to people, hey, I'm relaxed, I'm comfortable, I'm confident. Most people, when they're outside of their comfort zone, are just a little bit blank or maybe even frowning a little. You can look uncomfortable. Now, it's okay to be uncomfortable from time to time. But when people are looking to a leader, they want someone who conveys confidence. A little bit of a smile. I don't mean a gigantic permagren. I mean just a little bit of a smile on your face when people see you will project confidence. And it's easy to do because I know you know how to smile. I've got to clear up one big misperception about body language before we really go deep. You may have heard in the past that 93% of communication is non verbal. It's the body language part. I'm sure you've heard it at some point. Well, guess what? It's not true. Now where did this all come from? In 1969, Professor Albert Moravian at UCLA did conduct a survey on communication. And what he found was that when you're conveying emotion, 55% of it is the body language, 38% of it is your voice, and 7% is the actual words. Now wait a minute, T.J. aren't you contradicting yourself? No, it's when you're conveying emotion. Let me give you an example. If I say to you, wow, I really love TJ Walker's body language course, it was incredibly helpful. That's going to have one meaning. If I say, oh, wow, I really love T.J. walker's body language course, it was really helpful. Same exact words. But if I say it the way I did that second take, my body language, my tone of voice will be much more powerful than the words. If you watched me say that and listened to me say that, my body language, the look of contempt, the shaking of my head, the looking down, all conveys I actually couldn't stand TJ Walker's body language course. It was a complete waste of time. So when the words say one thing and the body language and the voice say something else. Yes, the body language and the voice will be dominant. That's what people will remember, not the actual words. If everything is in sync the first way I've said it, then the message might come through. So I say this because you still have to have interesting messages. If you want to be a leader, you've got to have interesting speeches. You have to have interesting, memorable ideas when you're presenting to people online or speaking at conferences or doing a briefing. So just knowing body language doesn't get you to the finish line. It's an important part, but it's only a part. It's certainly not 93% of what you need to be successful when it comes to projecting leadership. So how is this course on body language different from others and how can it specifically be useful to you? Well, it comes down to three very specific pillars in this course. Now, the first part is, is the video content, the lectures. I'm pouring my heart out. And this, this is based on real world experience of having trained executives just like you, plus presidents of countries, prime ministers, Nobel Peace Prize winners, Ms. Universes, how to convey leadership with their body language. I've done that in person with more than 10,000 executives for the last 41 years at the time, time of this recording. So that's part of it. But you know what, every course has video lectures. Every instructor feels like theirs is great. You'll have to be the judge of that. But that's only the first pillar. The second pillar is I make myself available to you live every single week. I've set up a community just for you, my online students. And all you have to do is go to Facebook, the TJ Walker online student support community. There's no charge for this. You're not going to get sold anything in here. You just go to Facebook and look for TJ Walker's online student support community. Now, what's different about this from the typical Facebook group is I come on live every single week, Thursdays, 10am to 11am Eastern Time in the United States, I come on live, take your questions. Now, you don't have to just type in a question and wait in a long line. You push a button and you're right on screen with me and we can have a conversation. You can actually ask me to assess your own backdrop. How you look, how you sound, your body language. I can give you A real time assessment of your body language. Again, you're not paying extra for that. If you went to the Harvard Business School or Cambridge or Oxford, you might spend $100,000 a year with all your expenses. With that, you would expect your professors to make themselves available for live office hours. That's typically how it works. Well, guess what, I'm doing that right here in this course for you. But it's not costing you a hundred thousand dollars. Everything you need to pay has already been paid. So that is I think a highly significant extra value. Plus you can post a video of yourself speaking if you want a body language critique. So if you're not available to come to the live session on Thursdays, you can post a video. At any point I will give you a personalized critique and you're in there with a community of other like minded students who are trying to improve their body language and try trying to improve their communication skills. So please, please take advantage of the Facebook group and that live, that's now that's live interaction. So that's the second pillar. But what if it's 3am in the morning, you can't sleep, you've got a big presentation, you want to really make sure you look and sound like a leader and you want feedback or you have questions and I'm not available. Well, I am available to you 24 hours a day, seven days a week. Not because I don't sleep, but because I, I have a digital interactive video based clone. You can see here's my clone. Just go to TJ Walker AI and you can text a question to my clone. You can call my clone. If you see it up here, speak to me. You can also talk directly just like a live zoom call to my clone. So let's go into this a little more detail and I'll show you exactly what I mean. And we'll just do a practice so you can call. There's no extra charge for this by the way. You don't even have to give an email or a text for text based questions. But here's an example of the video based clone.

Hi, I'm TJ's clone. How may I help you communicate more effectively?

Hi tj. I want your feedback on my body language. I want to know first of all, what do you think of what I'm wearing and what do you think of my set? Does this convey authority and leadership? I am trying to get promoted within my organization from a senior vice president to a senior level. And I'll have to be communicating on behalf of the company a lot on webinars and meetings like this. Please give me your feedback.

First off, I love that you're already thinking about how your appearance and environment communicate authority and leadership. That's a great mindset for someone aiming to step into a senior level role. Let's break this down.

Your suit is a strong choice.

It's professional and conveys seriousness, which is essential for leadership. The glasses add a touch of intellectual authority, which can work in your favor, especially in a corporate setting. However, I'd suggest considering a subtle pop.

Of color like a tie or pocket.

Square, to add a bit of personality and warmth. It's a small detail, but it can make you more memorable and approachable without.

Losing that professional edge.

Now, about your set. The books and decorative items on the shelves are fantastic. They subtly signal that you're well read and thoughtful.

The plants add a touch of humanity.

And warmth, which is great for connecting with your audience. The blue lighting, though, might be a.

Bit too cozy for the level of.

Authority you're aiming to project. Blue is calming. Yes.

Okay, so that gives you a little taste of what the clone can do. And I think you can see there, that wasn't just a generic video. It was pulling off the shelf like an old jukebox for music. It was actually seeing me. And it could tell, for example, that this blue light was way too bright behind me, which normally you wouldn't see because I have this camera on. It was pulling from a different camera. So it's not afraid to give constructive feedback. Now, the exciting thing about this to me is if you take a look at the top right corner, and I have English, I just did that in English. But the clone can give you detailed feedback in Bulgarian, Chinese, Danish, French. I mean, it's more than 30 languages now. So if English is not your first language, the clone can speak to you. Still my ideas and my tone of voice, but it can speak to you in your language. So in some ways that the AI digital clone is superior to me. Everything I say in this course, the clone already knows. So if you just have a question, you don't want to go through the table of contents or look at the entire course in a linear way, you can go right to the clone and get your questions answered. So that's the third pillar of what makes this course, I think, uniquely helpful and what makes it different. And also realize you can always just ask a question on the student Q A section of this platform. So I just mentioned George Washington's hoes. Let's talk a little about clothing. We're going to get into all the hand motion and eye contact and body movement in due course. But the first thing people often see when they see you is what you're wearing. Now, there's no one perfect thing to wear. You have to really look at what do leaders in your industry wear? You do need to dress like a leader. Certainly fine, to have your own style, your own personality. But if someone doesn't know you and they see you, they do make snap judgments. Do they see you as a potential leader or do they see you as someone who is a low level employee or someone just beginning in the industry? The old adage of don't dress for the job you have, dress for the job you want to have is still good advice. So again, every industry is different. If you're trying to become a Hollywood mogul, wearing a suit and tie isn't really going to be the appropriate thing. If you're trying to be a startup founder and be a huge success and be like someone who founded Facebook or Apple, you're not going to wear a tie. That's not what leaders in that industry do. But in other industries, more formal attire is appropriate. I don't know what industry you're in, so I'm trying to make educated guesses. I'm not wearing a tie. I used to, but it seemed overly formal for these online video courses. But I am wearing a suit. I'm wearing a somewhat traditional conservative tailored suit because so many of my clients in real life and online work in finance and energy and government in organizations and industries where people still dress conservatively. If you are in the entertainment field or the arts field, then you shouldn't wear a suit. A suit would make you seem out of touch. But I need you to really give thought to what you're wearing when you are trying to project leadership. Does that mean Saturday morning when you're home alone with family, you're putting on a suit and tie? No. You have to dress appropriately for every situation. How you dress at a board meeting or a new business pitch or when you're appearing before Congress or Parliament to testify is different from how you are going to show up at an afternoon barbecue with colleagues. So think about. You see this already. How high tech executives dress when they are testifying in front of Congress is in fact different than how they are day to day when they're in front of their own employees. I want you to give it thought. Don't just say, well, I'm not a superficial person and I don't care about that. I just Grab whatever is in my closet. Okay, that might work when you're at this level in an organization or this level, but to the highest level, maybe not even people who seem like they are nonchalant really aren't. Steve Jobs wore often jeans, the mock turtleneck, black mock turtleneck. He didn't just say, that's the only thing I have today. Let me put it on. He had a hundred of the exact same mock turtleneck shirts. They were planned, they were ready for. It was by design. In his case, he didn't want to spend mental energy trying to think about what to do wear. And that was an inspiration for former United States President Barack Obama, who rightly concluded he had other things to think about in his day job. He didn't want to think about mixing and matching all of his clothes. So no, he wasn't wearing turtlenecks, but he basically only wore dark gray, dark blue suits. He didn't have to think about it and it didn't get a lot of commentary. And it conveyed authority. So figure out what works for you. It's not that you have to wear the same thing every day, but you do want what you're actually wearing to convey authority. I could give you all the same advice. I'm saying right now, if I wore a see through tank top shirt, I would lose my authority with you. So figure out exactly what works in your industry, what you're aspiring to be a leader for, and dress accordingly in the modern world, chances are you're going to be speaking to more people this way virtually than you are in traditional speeches and conferences, conventions. So we're going to do things a little bit out of the ordinary. This section is going to focus on how to really have the body language of a leader when you're communicating on camera. Further into the course, I'll talk about when you're meeting people in real life, meeting people at networking events, speeches and presentations. So let's start right out of the gate on how to convey authority as a leader when you are speaking to people on camera. Now, it's not that you have to be the best looking person in the room or on camera, but I do want you looking your best. I do want you coming across confident and authoritative. So let's start at the very beginning. How do you sit in front of the camera? I'm sitting in a very particular way right now and it's not the most comfortable way for me. The most comfortable way for me to sit on camera would be like this. Okay, what do you notice? I'm just Sitting back, relaxed. If I were in a meeting, this might be fine. But you see all of a sudden several chins. You see what jumps out is my midsection. I'm not casting any judgments on anyone else, but when I look at myself, I say, wow, this is really unflattering. I don't really want people to see me looking like this. So sitting back like this, relaxed and comfortable is the worst possible way to convey confidence and look like a leader. In terms of your body language on camera, don't do it. Now, here's what a lot of people do. They have so called perfect posture. Now I have posture that's absolutely straight. Hi, I'm TJ Walker and I communicate with people and teach them how to look comfortable, confident, relaxed and authoritative. Not very believable, is it? I look stiff, scared, and nervous. Now I'm going to hold myself forward about 15 degrees. Now you see a much stronger jawline right now you don't notice anything bulging out from my midsection. So I, when I see myself, I think, wow, I look a lot better. That fills me with confidence, makes it easier for you to see my face because the camera latches on to whatever it's closer to. So it mouse may sound superficial, but people are not judging you just by the quality of the words you type or the words out of your mouth. This body language is important, and this is a foundational piece of body language for when you're communicating on camera. Let me show you. The posture doesn't really look good from the side it's leaning in. Now, I don't want to look like that. If I'm out meeting people. I want to have good posture. But for camera, any kind of zoom. Meeting office meeting, Skype meeting, webex, you want to be leaning into the camera. From this angle, you will look your best and you will look more like a confident leader. Okay, I'm moving my head, I'm moving my face, I'm smiling, I'm leaning in, my body's moving. But there's something missing right now. It's not that I look horrible or bad or overly nervous, but it's just not quite the same as when you see these. Now, there's a huge, huge myth out there that you're not supposed to move your hands when you're speaking, giving a speech, or talking on camera. That is an absolute myth. Please, I beg of you, do not fall into that trap. So many people think, oh, I want to be professional, T.J. and they, they lock their hands. They then lock their arms, their body's frozen. Next thing you know, their vocal cords are frozen. They look uncomfortable. I have clients ask me all the time, T.J. i don't know what to do with my hands. Can I hold a pen? I'm like, no. It's not like you're going to say something so brilliant you've got to write down and quote yourself while you're saying it. Now, if you're in a meeting with someone, by all means, it's a zoom meeting. They say something and you're not talking, sure, pick up a pen and write it down. But when you are speaking, you're going to come across so much more authoritative, confident, and like a leader. If your hands are moving in sync with what you're saying. I have clients tell me every. Oh, teacher, I never move my hands when I speak. And they do exactly what I just did. They're not aware of it. All human beings move, unless they have some physiological problem, move their hands when they speak, when they are comfortable and confident and in a relaxed state. If you doubt me, just go to any sports bar in the world, have some earbuds in where you're listening to some music or something, and look at people when they're talking and they're passionate about something, which people typically are when they're talking about sports. Their hands are moving the entire time they speak. But, TJ Won't it be distracting? I hear that all the time. In theory, it's possible to be so wildly distracting that you won't look like a leader. You'll just look like a windmill. It's possible, but I've worked with tens of thousands of executives just like you all over the world for decades, and it's never happened. Once I deal with the real world, real world problems. And the real world problem is you do this. You do this. You do something, something to freeze yourself, and it makes you look scared. And there's a lot of different types of leaders in the world. Nobody wants to follow a leader who's scared or who seems scared or lacking in confidence. So that's why I want you to move your hands. And in the beginning, if you're just starting out and you're meeting with someone, you may actually consciously think when it's your turn to speak, okay, I'm raising my left hand now. I'm raising my right hand. Now you have to prime the pump. After a while, it happens naturally because you will be in a state where you're completely comfortable and relaxed and you'll know how to look your best. You'll Know that you're looking your best so your hands will naturally move. You have to read the body language of the people you're speaking to. Now, it could be one on one in a meeting. It could be you're speaking to a thousand people. And by the way, leaders speak. They speak a lot. In fact, most leaders who are really high up in any organization, the founder, the co founder, the CEO, they pretty much spent all day long speaking. Now this is not a course on public speaking. I have plenty of other 30 hour long courses on how to be a good public speaker and presenter. But briefly, as it relates to your body language, you've got to be so comfortable with what you're talking about, your presentation, that you can actually be in the moment and look at the people you're speaking to. Which means you can't just get up and read a speech or read a teleprompter or turn your back and start going over bullet points. Because if your focus is on your text or a teleprompter or a slide, half your audience might be doing this. Well, guess what? No one's perceiving you as a leader. If you're so boring, they're all asleep. Or these days the more common response is, everyone's doing this. They've tuned out because they found something better because you weren't interesting, you didn't grab their attention. If you want to be a great leader, you have to pick up on that body language. Now, if you're speaking to 5,000 people and one person in the back, back is on a cell phone. I'm not suggesting you run back there and say, hey, buddy, what's wrong with you? That's not what I'm suggesting. But you do have to make calculations based on the size of your audience and how to respond. If you're talking to one person, it's pretty interesting. If you're talking to one person. Let's say it's a job interview about you getting hired to be the CEO or a major C level leader. And the person interviewing looks confused. Don't just plow on through and continue. Just stop and say, I feel like I'm not being that clear. Let me try again, restate it and see if they look. Oh, okay. You have a lifetime of experience talking to people and judging their body language with friends and family and colleagues. You've got to do the same thing in your professional life if you want to be seen as a leader. So you have to look. Are they looking at you like, oh, are they nodding and getting it Are they looking like this guy's full of bs? If so, you need to say, you may be thinking, that can't be right, is it? And then address their concerns. If you've confused them, don't act like they're the dummy. It's your problem if you're trying to communicate. So take the job on yourself. Restate your idea, State it again. Give an example. If someone seems profoundly uncomfortable, it may have nothing to do with you. It may be that the last three speakers spoke for three hours in a row and now everyone just wants to go to the restroom. Let them say, hey, what I'm about to say, I think is really going to be helpful. I don't want anyone to miss it. I'm going to do it in five minutes when we're all back from the restroom. And then go do it. Let people know you're focused on them. I've been in trainings before where everything's going really well and I'm training people, getting them on camera, everything's going the way it normally does. But I noticed everybody's like this. It was too cold in the room. I have to pick up on their body language and said, let's take a two minute break. Let me try to find a thermostat around here and get our temperature back where it should be. Or it could be too hot. Or you can just tell, people been talking so much, we need a quick break for water or for a snack. You always need to be keenly aware of your audience. If it's an audience of one, if it's an audience of 10 or an audience of a thousand, are they physically comfortable? Are they uncomfortable? Are they hungry? Are they thirsty? Are they too cold, too hot? Are they bored? Are they even paying attention? This is all obvious. If you look for the clues, they're unlikely to raise their hand and say, hey, tj, you're boring the heck out of me. Could you please say something else? It's unlikely they're going to say that, but the faces often don't lie. If they're looking like, I know I got to do something different. So the key, if you want to really have body language that positions you as a leader, you have to be in the moment. You have to truly be looking at people again, whether it's one person, five, 10, 20, or 20,000, and you had to be making assessments about how are they doing, Is this helpful for them? Are they getting this? So many people, beginning of their career, middle of their career, even later years, if they haven't gotten to the top level of leadership. They don't care about the audience. It's like, this is my speech, this is my briefing, this is my presentation. This is my PowerPoint. Guess what? It's not your PowerPoint. It's not your presentation. It's the audience's presentation. So if they're not awake for it, or they're not actually looking at you because they're staring at their cell phones, or everyone's staring at their watch, or you're perhaps in really inexpensive folding chairs and you can see them being uncomfortable, that's your problem. You have to look at that and adjust the example of the folding chair. There's nothing wrong if you're asked to give a presentation for an hour and you can tell after 20 minutes, people are really shifting around and just say, and now for the next 60 seconds, we're all going to stand up, do a big stretch, because I can see these folding chairs are not very comfortable. I was out there earlier today. I know what you're going through. So let's all stand up, shake it out a minute, and I'm going to continue here in 60 seconds. That's a great way of reading the room, reading the body language. People appreciate it. Like, wow, all these other speakers didn't care about our comfort at all. This person actually cared. They're much more likely to listen to you, and it's just physically easier to listen to you and your ideas for leadership if you're no longer uncomfortable. And sometimes if you're in an uncomfortable chair, just standing up, being able to stretch, walk around for 60 seconds really helps dramatically. So please focus on the people you're speaking with. Really look at them. Try to figure out, are they in an optimum state, Are they comfortable? Are they listening to you? Is any real communication taking place? Place or something preventing it? It could be you're using language they're not familiar with. The vocabulary you're using isn't resonating. It could be your slides are too complex. It could be it's too early in the day. The slides, they can't see because the projector quality isn't good enough. You got to factor all of that into your assessment in live time and adjust accordingly.