Myth! Embrace Your Nervousness Before Speaking

It's one of the worst public speaking myths out there. This idea that you should embrace your nervousness. Don't worry about it, don't feel bad about it, just treat it like it's a little cuddly puppy or something and it's fine to be nervous. I hear this so often from other so called public speaking experts online and it's horrible advice. If you're nervous before giving a speech, before giving a presentation, it means you didn't do your homework. If you actually prepared the right way, there should be no nervousness there. Nervousness means you don't have any proof or evidence that you're going to do a good job. Someone who's hopped in a pool a thousand times, taken the time to learn how to swim, has swum back and forth across the pool many times, isn't nervous before hopping in the pool. They've demonstrated excellence. They took the time to learn the skill. Someone who's never been in a swimming pool before, someone who's never had a swim lesson, you get them close to the pool, they get nervous. So listen to your nerves. Of course, do that. Listen, but realize they're telling you something. They're telling you not, oh, I'm a human being and it's completely fine to be emotional, that's a part of it. But really what they're telling you is, hey, you didn't prepare, you didn't rehearse, you didn't practice enough, you didn't gather evidence that what you have to say to your audience is actually going to be interesting. So I beg of you, if you're nervous before a speech or presentation, don't just write it off and say, oh, that's a part of the human experience. Oh, that's fine. All of our emotions are perfectly fine. No, I want you to really hold yourself accountable and use your past experiences to motivate you to prepare the right way. If you have a big speech or important presentation tomorrow or next week, practice that presentation on video. Get your cell phone, get a webcam, practice your presentation, look at it, figure out, what do you like, what do you not like? If you see something that is boring or uninteresting or makes you look nervous, do another version of it and get rid of that part. So much of what makes us nervous when we're giving a speech or presentation, so we're thinking, oh, I might be really boring, well, guess what, you might be boring. The solution is not to feel better about being boring or embrace your feelings about feeling boring. The solution is to be interesting don't say boring stuff. Sometimes you might get nervous thinking, oh, what do I do with my hands? Did I wear the right shirt? Oh, they're going to be able to tell this isn't a real business shirt because I have no long sleeves. They're going to laugh at me. If that's what you're feeling. The solution is to dress in advance the way you want and to look at it on video to make sure you are coming across the way you want. It's disrespectful to speak to an audience if you don't have good evidence that you're coming across your very best if. Imagine if you had a family dinner and you had a child who comes down in their underwear and it's important guests. You, you wouldn't say, well, it's okay to feel nervous about how you're. You're dressed. You say, hey, before you come down to the table, put some pants on or put some clothes on. It's exactly the same thing with public speaking. So please, I beg of you, don't embrace your nervousness. Go to the root cause, lack of preparation, and then prepare. You won't have any more nervousness and you won't have to worry about embracing your nervousness either. Hi, I'm TJ Walker. Thanks for joining me. We are now Live. This is YouTube Live, and we are joined by Janice and Barb and Moss and our colleagues from the Ukraine and around the world. So let's just say hello to everyone. Thank you for joining us. This is our weekly live session. No holds barred. Any question anyone has about public speaking, communication skills, media training, or personal development, you are welcome to voice them. You're welcome to promote anything. You're welcome to get a spotlight on your own YouTube channel or your own product. For example, let's say you had a fantastic chili and you want to tell the world about your chili. This is the perfect time to do it. And it's a way of a getting more customers. Possibly be an opportunity to refine and improve messaging and deliver, which I think is a pretty perfect segue to Cesar. How are you today? Tell us, tell us about your, your, your chili. Excuse me? Not your chili. Your. Your salsa. I should say salsa. And because I am a huge fan of salsa and I'm ashamed of myself for the fact that I haven't tried your salsa yet. And it is something I'm going to do to eat salsa every day with my eggs or omelette, because as you know, salsa is pretty much a perfect food. There's no fat, there's no cholesterol. It's really healthy. Vegetables. And if you're being really picky about it, fruit, because tomatoes are fruit. But, Cesar, tell us what's new in your world.

Good morning, everyone. I'm happy to be here with you. The salsa that we make is with the health in mind, with wellness in mind. We make it with homegrown ingredients. We roast it, the ingredients, and we basically package it here at home.

And.

You can go to the website and learn more about it. Is Salsa Brava store later. I will go ahead and put it on the side notes so you can see it. And salsa is good for you. And what I say every time after I end my message about salsa, I say, spice your mind, body and soul. Thank you.

And, Cesar, what prompted you to start a salsa company? Because there are. There are hundreds, if not thousands of different companies making salsa. It's much harder than a digital product like I do because you have to fight for shelf space or market it to people who don't just learn about you online, but then would have to take a credit card out and have it shipped. What, what prompted you to get into this line of work?

Well, first, I love salsa. And I've been making salsa for many, many, many years. I was first introduced to salsa when I was about 3 years old at home. They used to sit me in the kitchen, and I used to watch the people cook and make salsa, and I got to get the first taste. Throughout the years, I've been making salsa, give it to friends and family for the holidays, and after I finished my last employment, I decided to give it a try and put the health emphasis on it and see where. Where can it go? That's for me, right now is a passion, and I will take it for as long as it can go. And if I do something else, that's okay, too.

Great. Well, we wish you the best of luck. One last question, then. I want to get to our colleague Santiago, who was nice enough to post a video.

Sure.

And we're going to watch that on. On YouTube and give a critique to him and some feedback. But here's my. Here's my one problem with salsa and my own solution. My problem with salsa is if I'm at a Mexican restaurant and there's a whole bunch of chips, there's nothing healthier in the to eat than salsa, but there's nothing less healthy than fried, salted, crispy tortilla chips. Now, I've tried to solve the problem by having the salsa on top of my egg in the morning. But how do you eat salsa in a way that isn't just putting these fried tortilla pure carbs into your body?

Okay. The salsa is meant to be eaten with food, is a complement to any food that you have. It's not just for chips. Later, I'm going to post a little message about salsa is not for chips. So basically, you add it to any food that you eat that is salsa driven. Steaks, eggs, lamb chops, any type of food. And on our channel, we post videos about cooking with salsa.

Great. Well, we'll have to check those out and feel free to share those with us from time to time. We would love to see them. Cesar, stay with us. I'd love to get your feedback on Santiago's latest video. I'm going to pull that up. Santiago, how are you today? If you could go ahead and unmute yourself. Yeah, a minute.

Hey, tj.

Hi. Tell us what you were doing with your most recent video. What were you trying to improve? And what do you want us to look at carefully?

Last time I. I was here, I. I mentioned that it was a little bit of a risky project. I'm working on my communication in front of a camera. Spoken, spoken communication. I'm a writer. My background is writing. And what I wanted to do was, is a little bit to push myself to learn more about spoken communication. And I created a video about the hook. So that's what I wanted to convey, how to create a hook. Because I see it when I work with researchers, scientists, I'm a biologist myself. So one thing, a flaw that I see is that people don't use a hook. They just start talking about something interesting. So I wanted to talk about that, but realized that it's a bit different when you're recording for a YouTube channel. You have to be quicker with the hook. And. And now, quick question.

Is this. Is this different from the one we saw last week? Because you did have a video on the same topic.

Yeah, last week I did not have a video. I. I just joined to support the group. But did I. I don't think I had a video. It could have been the incubator, because I only have three videos up. This is my third video.

Okay, well, let's take a look at it. And I would love to get others to weigh in on this as well. Let me share the audio.

Unmute myself.

Oh, and I hope I hit the right button. Barb, let me know right away if I, for some reason, I didn't get the right audio.

You are here because you want to learn how.

Are you hearing the audio?

Yes.

Great. All right, let me expand.

It might be that you are here because you want to learn how to grab your audience's attention. If that's the case, I can point to one key element that might be hindering your stories from getting the attention they deserve. A key element that is called a hook. A hook is basically a strong opening to your story. For example, a sentence that grabs.

And.

Maintains your audience's attention and engagement. Once I started using a hook in my conversations, I noticed how people were paying more attention to my stories. What we do when we create a hook as writers, as public speakers, as video creators, is that we reveal a part of the story, maybe the ending or an important aspect of the story, to give the audience a little bit of a hint of what.

Okay, there are a lot of good things going on here. I'll weigh in in just a moment, but I want to quickly go around the room and get other people's feedback. Let's start off with what did you like? And, Santiago, I'll treat you just as I would a client who's paid me $10,000 for the day. I'm going to start with you. I just want to know, what did you like about your presentation there? What was better than your previous videos? And then let's work our way around the room with anyone giving their opinions on what they saw was good or better than one of his previous ones. Santiago, you first.

I feel that I'm much more relaxed now. I had to. I had to paste, cut, and paste much less than I had last time, the two other times. So I feel much more relaxed speaking about it and longer, in longer fragments, basically. And another thing that I like is that I learned how to use the B roll. I didn't. I had no clue about it before this, so. And that helps.

It did make it more interesting.

Yeah, yeah, exactly.

And I. And I applaud you for that. And I'll, you know, I'll be transparent here. We all have certain strengths, but certain weaknesses. I've never learned how to edit, so I've never put any B roll. I mean, I've. I've. At some point I went and hired editors, and now my wife does some and others. But I've never learned how to put B roll or images in. So I applaud you for doing that. Although it is at these days, considered, I guess, part of basic literacy. Certainly there aren't any kids under 20 who don't know how to add images to a video. So thanks. Your Your assessment? Let's go around. Who would like to just, just hop right in if you have an assessment for how Santiago did there?

I thought his staging was very good in the beginning. The way he had the, you know, the studio set up with the doctor.

Was that a belt behind you? It looked almost like a professional wrestling belt. What was the, the belt there?

I, I received that belt when I defended my thesis, my PhD thesis. And I, I, I had been complaining that people usually don't receive title bells when I, they are done with their beating during like a, you know, it's like a battle. So then my paranyms, the supporters during my thesis, they gave me this title belt. So it's my company logos on it and then it says PhD and then the years.

Oh, wonderful.

Has an interesting story behind it. Barb, what did you like about how he did.

I'm a big fan of Santiago, so I didn't feel like it's fair. I'll just blab about how great it was. Sorry, Santiago. I, I just. You are doing extremely well. You're an excellent storyteller and I think that, I mean like you said, you introduced the B roll. I go, wow. So for me it was a very positive experience. And the only thing I can say is just keep pressing the button. They're only going to get better.

So.

Thank you, Barb.

Anyone else like to weigh in? Janice, you're a presentation skills coach as well. We'd love to hear your professional opinion. And we say Elena is saying hello in the comments and Natasha is saying hello too. If you want to join us on camera, both of you are invited as well.

So the con I when I content is great. Presentation is what I do for my students. So this is what I see when you sit back and relax and you have your legs crossed. That's one position. What I say to my students is sit up and mean business. Because what I have to say is going to be important to improve your message. So that's one thing that I would like to share.

Thanks. Thanks a lot. I think this is a very valid point. And I received it from tj. I received it from Cesar as well. And it was one of my questions when I posted the video. If that was too much of a, of a post, but somehow I felt more relaxed during more conversational because when I have philosophical debates or, or political debates, then I usually sit with my legs crossed and I think my brain associates it with the fluent speaker.

So I'm gonna, I'm gonna say something now. Apologies in advance. It's gonna sound mean. I don't mean to be mean. It's gonna sound like TJ's a mean old man, but here it is. I don't care how you feel. That may sound harsh, but hear me out. I care how your audience feels. And I want you to know anytime you're presenting, whether it's live, in person, online, I want you to feel confident knowing you look your absolute best, because ultimately, that's what will make you confident. Now, personally, I'm comfortable in my bathrobe. I was wearing it this morning, but I didn't show up today in my bathrobe because that would look really weird and make you uncomfortable. Right. So I do want you to keep in mind that it's always ultimately about the audience's experience. I mean, I personally am never really comfortable unless my I'm sitting way back, practically recline, and my feet are on my desk. But if I did that now, it would really look ridiculous. For one thing, I'm wearing Crocs and I have shorts on. I'm not going to show you. Don't worry. So I do want you to keep in mind, all seriousness, that this divide between. I don't want you to feel tortured or in pain, but I want you to feel comfortable knowing you look confident and your best to the audience. So the things I like. Let me. Let me stay with the process of the things I like. You. You come across comfortable, confident, relaxed. It's interesting. Voice is fluid, very conversational. I'm going to point out a couple of areas for improvement, which I did in the. I was confused because I was confusing what I had written in the comments to you versus us talking about it. So now I realize this was the first time we shared it live. Before I do, is anyone else with us live want to share any comments for Santiago and anything they like? Cesar, go ahead.

Yes, Santiago, I give you my comments on the. On the post, and I don't want to be redundant. I just want to say it in a different way. Be yourself, and whatever you show, make sure that appeals to the viewer, not for your comfort. And if you be yourself and express yourself as you are, you'll be very, very comfortable. Now, there is nothing wrong with this sitting down and crossing your legs as long as you're like this because you want them to see you when you're on a relaxed back position. Like, if I am like this right now, yeah, I'm very comfortable, but looks like I'm sizing you, that I'm listening to you, not talking to you. You see the difference now? Everything else was good. Your set was good, except for the rebel, maybe move it so it can be. So we can see what it is. Everything else is good. And I think that if you keep practicing, you're going to get there. You have the knowledge, the education, and most of it, the guts to make it done. So go for it. Thank you.

Thanks. Thanks a lot.

Great assessments. Is there anyone else want to weigh in before I go through and show just a few clips of the video and make some specific pinpoint suggestions? Okay, so let me share the video a moment and let's just go over a few more details.

It might be that you are here because you want to learn how to grab your audience's attention.

So I like the hand motion. I like the sunlight on one part of your face, but I really don't like the darkness on this side. If you. If you're going to use natural light, it's so much more effective if the light is right in front of you rather than hitting one side. It doesn't look bad. But we talked about already in the comments. Cesar mentioned it. Cross. I recommend never crossing your legs if you're going to be in front of a video camera because the second you cross your legs, it automatically pushes you back. Here I am now. You're much younger, in better shape than I am.

But.

But age is coming for all of us. When you sit back, it gives everyone kind of a double chin, even if you're a lot younger than I am. So sitting back is generally the least flattering. Look, I can sit back here. Now, this makes me look 30 pounds heavier, some would say. And it's simply because the camera is now closer to my stomach and, well, I would cross my legs. I don't want to make anyone think I'm being inappropriate, because I do. I am wearing pants, but I'm not wearing long pants. I have shorts, so I won't cross my legs. But the problem is with your video here, the dominant part of the screen are your knees, your thigh, and the midsection. Your head is comparatively a small pinpoint. The beauty of holding yourself up high, leaning in is the head is dominant. It's easier to see your face, your mouth, and focus on what you're saying. So, as I teach in all of my media training courses, the worst thing to do is to sit back, relax, comfortable and confident. It makes everyone look their worst. The second worst thing is perfect posture. Hi, I'm TJ Walker. I help people look comfortable, confident and relaxed. I look stiff and nervous. This Way. The way to look your best on camera is to lean forward about 15 degrees into the camera. Now you see a much stronger jawline. Now you're not distracted by anything down here, and it's just easier to focus on what I'm saying. It's not particularly good posture. I'll just show you. That's not really good posture, but from the standpoint of the camera and how the audience perceives you, it comes across much better. Any other questions or thoughts about that?

Trust me, I will just say that I will not cross my leg. I will avoid it like the person. From now on, the easiest thing to.

Do is what I call the runners. And there's a little bit of a difference for men and women in most things I do with public speaking and media training, there really isn't what I recommend for most men. Feet flat on the floor, one foot forward, one foot back, a little bit. Kind of the runner's position. And now you can lean forward, especially if it's a video, five minutes or less, or a TV interview. Don't even sit in the back of the seat.

Yeah.

And don't. Certainly don't lean. You want your hands moving. That's the other problem is you got an armrest, and when you're doing this, it anchors the arms, and you just don't move as much as if you had no armrest at all.

Makes sense.

So I would. I would recommend that.

Can I ask you one. One more question?

Sure.

In the Facebook post, you also mentioned that the hook did not come early enough. And I would like to learn a little bit if you have a little bit of a tip, because I felt like the hook was earlier, at least than one when I write. So I would like to understand how it could have come earlier than.

I didn't find the first 10 seconds out of your mouth provocative enough to hook me. Now, I watched it because you're my student, but if you're going to do a whole video on how you need a hook, I think you need to demonstrate it with a strong hook. And just saying it could be a question, could be something provocative. Imagine you're standing up in the most important scientific conference in your field, and within five seconds, everyone in the audience is staring at their phone. How do you feel about that? Well, you've got a hook. Just something like. I mean, that was the first thing that came to my mind, but I wanted to make someone kind of pay attention. Let's look at your hook again at the beginning. I mean, a hook is typically what people see and hear right at the.

Beginning, it might be that you are here because you want to learn how to grab your audience's attention. If that's the case, I can point to one key element that might.

I just find that a little straightforward and therefore not as interesting. How do you hook your audience so you know they're actually listening to you and not staring at their phone? Maybe another. Again, I don't want you to be me, and I don't want you to feel gimmicky. But I didn't find it strong enough. And people may disagree, Bart may disagree with me, but for me, it wasn't a strong enough hook. And the bar goes really up as far as how people are holding you to certain expectations if you're giving a whole presentation on how to have a hook. That was my thought. Janice, I'd like. I would particularly. I'd like everyone's opinion here, but I would particularly like your opinion right now on just whether you thought that hook were, oh, we may have lost Janice. Whether that hook was, in fact, strong enough. And, Cesar, you had. You wanted to add something to that.

Yes, I agree with TJ you did not grab me. I watched the video because I need to watch a video and see what your message is about. But most people will not do that. Now, this is kind of, you know, the way that I explain it, and I don't know if I explained myself correctly, but the hook is the hook, and you must begin with the hook at the beginning of the sentence. And like TJ Says, it could be a question, it can be a daring question. It could be the solution itself. For example, and I'm just giving example right now. Do you want to know how to grab people's attention? That right there is a small hook.

Yeah, because you start especially with a paw, especially if you pause right after that, you really look at people.

And then you can also say, have you ever wondered how to grab people's attention?

Is it a good idea?

Today I'm going to tell you. And then you're gone. Those are just quick examples. And again, you know, I'm very direct when I speak. You don't have to be, but you're great on your style. You just need to start with the hook.

You know, Elena also points out in the comments section that starting with maybe does not sound very confident. So sometimes just stating something very directly or asking, asking people to imagine. In a lot of my promo videos for courses, I. The first thing I do is say imagine yourself giving a presentation. You're completely confident knowing Everyone in the audience understands what you're saying, they remember what you're saying and they take the actions you want. So I get people to try to actively think about their future. How it benefits them is another way. There's no one perfect way. Elena does say she likes starting with a question and Nitesh also writes in saying it's a great way of a demonstration. So focus on a couple of those things. Santiago, really appreciate your, your regular presence here and continuing to post videos because that's ultimately the way to get better. Quick program note at the end of our segment. Today I'm going to be doing a deep dive analysis into a very young YouTube superstar. I had not really seen him until a couple of months ago. His name is Iman Gadzi. He is, he lives in a couple of different places. He's based in the Middle East a lot of the time. He's been YouTubing since age 14 or 15. He's only 23. He's got almost 4 million subscribers. So I'll be going through his videos, giving you a detailed analysis of exactly what he does well and why I think he is successful. That's coming up and in a few minutes I want to check in with our friend Moss, find out how things are going with the job interviews and the job hunt. He's been nice enough to share his insights with us on his journey there. But first, I want to engage in a friendly debate here because, because, you know, intelligent, well meaning, respectful people can disagree from time to time. And I want to revisit an issue. I posted a video on YouTube 10 days ago and it was just posted in a Facebook group a day or two ago and some folks had a different opinion. I want to play just the first few seconds of it and then I'm going to ask Barb to rip it apart and tell us her views and we'll have a no, no holds barred debate right here on this issue as you'll see what it's about in just a moment. Idea to practice a speech or presentation in front of a mirror. Let's find out. Is it a good idea to practice a speech or presentation in front of a. Wait a minute. Is my nose a little crooked? Did my eyes get beat? What's happening to my hairline? That's the problem with practicing in front of a mirror. You start to scrutinize yourself. Everybody has something they don't like about their own face or their jaw, their hairline. It's very hard to multitask if you're practicing in front of a mirror thinking about what? Okay, you get the gist of it. It's only about two and a half minutes long. I would love for you after this to go in, look at the video on the YouTube channel and like it or hit dislike. But leave a comment and tell me where you stand on this issue. But right now let's go to Barb and hear your opinion on this.

I think practicing with a mirror can be your best friend. I have, you know, I started back in the 70s doing that stuff and I am not a vain person at all. And I actually, I started out, they call us ambiverts I guess now, but I started out as an introvert. But it was because of what I had to do that I had step out and step forward and ash, you know, I, I, it just really set me off when I saw that yesterday. Because what you did at the beginning is what vain people typically do. I'm sorry, but you remind me of my husband is like oh, my hair, what have you. But I'm at my home where I'm at right now, I actually have three mirrors, six foot mirrors that are side by side in the great room where I have had entrepreneurs come in, leaders fly in actually and come for training to actually present before a mirror. So it's actually a terrific to me an exceptional tool to help you become confident in your speaking. Because one of the, I think for all of us as human beings, I hate to look in the mirror. It's get, when I go walking by the mirror, it's like, oh, I don't want to see myself. And I think that's natural unless you are really super vain, you know. And I'm just saying that the personalities I run into in life, it's like, oh, wow, well this is, you know, but in general and I actually, I was telling TJ back, you know, in, in the 90s, I was actually written up in the New York Times because of these practices, because I taught, I don't know if you all remember because I worked with the telcos and mci, Bell Atlantic and all of them and I was training their people to be able to communicate online and to do business online. And we had telephones and faxes, everything was text based online at that time. We were just waiting for these moments that we all have now that we just kind of take it for granted. But I found that most of the really bright people that I met online were introverts. And I think that's, we had the one gal in here that's you Know, in psychology, it's like, that's just how it rolls. Introverts are really brilliant people for the most part. And, and it, they are the ones that, you know, they shy away, they don't look at themselves. But it actually helps you build self confidence and actually helps you with your storytelling skills. And I did that in training for business discussions as well as I used to have entertainment services and helping people with their stage presence to really sell a song. And so those things were good. And also, I mean, it's your, it's a tool. One of the things I tell people, I wish I could come on screen today because there's actually YouTube videos of me doing this where you can see me. But one of the things I tell all people, I says if you're alone in the room and you're talking to people is, you know, you can take a stuffed animal and put it facing you. So because typically a person feels a stuffed animal is warm and cuddly, whether or not they're into that thing. But if you're facing it in front of you, it's like you're talking to someone, not talking to yourself. And the other thing that I mean, because I did it so much is that I. Back in the old days and the video tools that we had, I would put the video camera up and I would take that, you know, from behind me, talking to myself in front to help me be better. And you know what happens when you go out there on stage, it's like, well, I know what I look like. It's not even, it's not a you're so vain thing. It's, you know, you are more confident because you know, you've got your story to you. Your story as in yourself together. So I, I just, you know, it sent me reeling, TJ But I had it.

And even I'm glad to get a reaction from time to time.

But politicians I've worked, I don't know if you all remember in New Mexico, we had a senator, Pete Domenici. You can. He's gone now, but I happened to work with him back in the 80s and early 90s. And that was the one thing. And I remember a bank president of a bank gave me credit at one juncture because he had been doing public speaking for years, but he was always nervous when he was speaking and it was because he didn't have that self confidence. And the mirror, practicing in the mirror, especially if no one's there, you know, it's not about do I look great or whatever. It's I'm, I am talking to this person in the mirror, while that is me, in fact, I am seeing exactly what the delivery is. So I, I, to me it's an invaluable tool.

Okay, well, I very much appreciate you sharing your perspective and I have perhaps been a little bit guilty of overstating how bad I think it is to practice with a mirror. So let me backtrack just an inch or two. For some people it's better than no practice because having the words come out of your mouth the first time practicing is always better than having the words come out of your mouth in front of your live audience. So at least you're forming grooves from your brain through your mouth, your tongue and out your mouth. It helps that it can for some people build a comfort level. And sure, in the 70s I did it too. But in the 70s it was very difficult, time consuming and expensive to have to hire a TV reporter coming with a 60 pound camera. That's what I used to have to do in the early 80s too. That was before the era of ubiquitous video cameras. We all have video cameras now. So all I could tell you is from my experience and you know, for many years I'm training people five days a week, the rate of improvement is not twice as good or 10 times as good. It's at least a hundred times faster with video. So the problem with a mirror is it's, first of all, everyone has some level of vanity. And you just mentioned you don't like looking at yourself in, on a, in the mirror. Well, if someone had zero vanity, they wouldn't care about seeing themselves in the mirror. It's any more than they would see a tree in the mirror. It's just reflection of reality. So everyone has some level. But the bigger problem is all the scientific evidence shows human beings cannot multitask. If you are speaking and looking in the mirror, you're not really focused on conveying the ideas to the audience. You're not really focused on analyzing your body. You're in this in between where you're like the kid texting and driving. It ends up bad for everyone. So I don't like the fact that it's causing multitasking. The other problem I have found in, you know, training 10,000 plus people face to face around the globe is people are really not very good at judging themselves accurately in the moment. You could practice on video. Excuse me, in front of a mirror, Think you're awful, might actually be good. You could practice in front of a mirror, Think you're great, Might actually be awful. So the beauty of recording it is at that moment you can just focus on having the conversation with your pretend audience. Then you can go back and look at it and really try to analyze it from the perspective of an audience member. Because that's what's most helpful. Because sometimes you can practice once and think, oh, I have no idea how that went. I was just going through the motions. I have no idea. You can watch a video and say, wow, I felt nervous. But this person looks really comfortable and confident. That's a very common experience. And, well, I feel a lot better about it now. I see that happen all the time. The other thing is, sometimes people will say something and they were practicing their presentation. An interesting story comes out the last minute they weren't even planning on using, but now they can sit back and see it and it's like, wow, that was so interesting. I forgot about. I almost didn't put it in. Now I'm going to use that in the beginning of my presentation. The ultimate power of it is you can do different iterations and figure out exactly what you're doing. Well. So when I'm in a training with people, I have people use checklist. We go through 30 different categories. I want to know exactly what they're doing well, so we can do more of it in the next video, exactly what they're doing less, so we can try to reduce that thing and do different iterations. So if someone can see video of themselves, here's four different takes, and maybe the first one was awful, but the last one was great. They are completely filled with confidence in a way I've never seen anyone be able to do by just practicing in front of a mirror. The other issue with recording it is you can then share it with someone else. You can share it with a colleague in a way you can't share speaking in front of a mirror. And when you share it with someone, you can ask them, what do they remember? If they remember all of your key messages, you now have evidence you actually gave a great presentation that fills you with confidence before going into that real presentation in front of a real audience. On the other hand, if they say, I don't really know what you're talking about, that's meaningful feedback. And you can test in different ways when it's recorded. You can ask people what they like and don't like, but you can also ask exactly what people remember in a way that practicing in a mirror just doesn't allow for that. I like to think of it this way. If someone's trying to learn how to write. In theory, they could simply dictate an essay and one word at a time, show up on screen, and then it vanish. You could, in theory, learn how to write that way. But most people would prefer being able to write, seeing all their text on the screen, sit back, maybe even walk away, and come back an hour later, sometimes a day later. And now look at it with a little distance. It's so much easier to spot typos, grammar mistakes, what works to make changes. If you see something that's separate from you. That's the beauty of recording on video. It's now a separate thing that I can analyze with distance in a way I simply can't with a mirror. But again, I will say practicing in front of a mirror is better than nothing. But in my professional opinion, having, you know, for decades, all I've done was train people how to speak effectively. A thousand times more effective to practice on video. But, Barb, I'm going to let you have the final word on this, and then we're going to go to Moss, find out what's new with him. Barb?

Well, I get your, your point of view because, you know, I agree with that, too, that practicing on video is, you know, that's, it's so easy and quick. But I'm talking, when I thought of the, the mirror, I mean, some things that we did in the past, we bring forward with us because they actually help us deal with a new technology. And I, what I'm talking about is the, what happens to the person, the change in the person at the time if they practice using the mirror. I mean, they can. I, you know, I had all my technology with me, too, and, you know, I'm a big proponent of just pressing the button. And even like today I can only be on audio, but I'm here. And you can hear through the, the inflection in my voice, something is going on in Barb's delivery. I'm using my hands. If you could see me right now, you would see me talking with my hands. That's just natural. And so, you know, the bottom line is, is press the darn button. Just keep doing it because practice, practice, practice. But I do think that the mirror is actually a helpful tool. And maybe, you know, it's, it's like when we talk about the hook, like we were talking with Santiago and that hooking, bringing it in. Was it really about the mirror or was it about practicing and really, you know, and documenting it, being able to record it. Look back at what you had Done. So I don't know, T.J. i, you know, I, I agree with you, but I also think that the mirror is not a bad thing.

Okay, well, very much appreciate your view and it's good to have occasional dissenting views around here. We don't all sound like we're agreeing with each other all the time. Writes in in the comments section saying totally awesome. Glad Maddie that you're with us today. And Elena writes in as well. Let's switch over to Moss. And Moss, if you could give us an update, I'm. Please. Sure. Well, we're not seeing, we're not seeing the fan overhead where. When are we going to get some light on your face?

Yeah, I have to have the ring light right on me now you do?

Let me.

Looks much better.

And how do we. Let's just put Moss up. I'm going to take everyone off a minute, including myself. I want to see how his lighting is or actually if others. If you could just take your. We're not kicking anyone out. There we go. All right, so the lighting is a little better, but I still want to see your head at the top of the screen, not way down in the middle.

There you go.

Yeah, that's much better. Okay. Now the other thing that we've been begging you to do for the last two, three weeks is to not. And for those of you that Moss has been very transparent and is working on his job interview skills. Going on job interviews, my biggest suggestion and request of Moss was do not spend more than half your time at home sending out resumes and emails. Spend half your time out actually talking to people, preferably in your industry, but just any human being talking to them because so many leads can come from that. So Moss, give us an update.

Yeah, well, I, I took that personal lunch I was talking about on Friday that was, I went to high school with. Now he's going to be living in Austin and working for Volkswagen remotely on some software. As it turns out, he's going to be doing an Audi. And meanwhile, at the same time, you know, they were just announcing the, the Volkswagen ID4, you know, which is their entry level electric cars, has already been totally redone software wise for 2024. And you know, then Tesla redid the Model 3 and that just was announced. So. Yeah, it's interesting how they're, they're constantly updating these electric vehicles and making them better. You know, it's kind of.

That's great. Any. Did he have any leads for you? Is he willing to introduce you to anyone? Is he willing to bring you along to a luncheon or a corporate barbecue. Anything else that can help you?

Yeah, at least he's going to be away for a few weeks and then we're going to. We're going to be doing some of that because apparently he doesn't know anybody in austin, Even though he's well connected and, you know, he make mainly most of his. The people he's been working with are in Asia, so.

Well, let me ask you, do you even want to or need to work with a company in Austin? I mean, these days, so much of, you know, help desk and reference desk can be anywhere in the world. Are you limiting yourself to companies in Austin? Well, no, no.

I mean, I'm looking in the surrounding area much. I much rather work on the north end, like where I am now or the next town over. As a matter of fact, Georgetown. There's a big gaf plant going in where they were looking for people for a rollout where they're going to be making these roof shingles that have some kind of electronic sensors in them. Has to do with, you know, harnessing the energy from the sun. And they're setting up a whole new plant up there to do that. So that. That was like one lead.

But, well, mostly wish you. I mean, we wish you luck in your. Your quest for suitable employment and enjoyable employment. How. Let me ask you, how many resumes have you sent out in the last two weeks? How many job openings have you researched online?

You know, I. I look for specific jobs that I qualify for because, you know, with I. T, if you're not really qualified, the chances of getting the job are pretty much nil. But, yeah, I've gotten quite a few leads this week. Good leads. A lot of times recruiters call me. You know, I get a lot of calls.

Well, that's good.

Yeah. As a matter of fact, one of them called me the other day about probably what my dream job would be because it would be working for the city of austin in transit, which I'm very interested in. You know, Austin desperately needs more mass transit, and it's going to be done in the future, you know, so that would be a fascinating organization to work for.

And are any of the recruiters there in Austin as well?

You know, but they could be anywhere. Like yesterday, somebody called me from california about a company I had already applied to about a month ago, and they're looking for somebody now at a higher level. So this recruiter was a fantastic. First of all, a fantastic salesman, you know, and I said, you know, I probably Wouldn't have a chance at this job. You know, I've already been turned down on a similar job. But he, he insisted on applying me and we had, I had an interview with him yesterday, which I thought would be good practice anyway. Yeah, and I'm really glad I did because, you know, in talking with him, I said to him, I want, you know, even if this doesn't pan out, I want to work with you, you know, maybe on something else.

Great. If I could just add one thing, really. Two quick points. Points. And first of all, hello to Sam joining us today. Glad you're here. But if I could add two quick points. You're right. It's practice talking to an inter. To a recruiter if you're talking on Zoom. But I would still practice before the practice because recruiters, they're not your friend. I'm not saying they're, they're your enemy. But they're talking to other candidates too. They want to, they want to close the deal and get their commission check. So they are evaluating you. So you really want to practice and rehearse on video before you talk to a recruiter, in my opinion, because you want to make a great impression. You want to make that recruiter think, okay, there's five people I've talked to who could be good for this job, but really Moss is the best. I'm going to push him first. That's what you want them thinking. My second quick tip is, is anytime there's a recruiter in your city, offer to take them for coffee, ask them, you know, when the next time they'll be downtown and you just, you happen to be there the same time, meet for coffee. That human face to face connection with recruiters can really make the difference of them putting you to the top of their list. So I would, I would strongly recommend that. Also want to wish you luck. We've got to run now because we've got to do the final segment. I am. For anyone who really has a burning question, please post it in the YouTube channel. But also, if you stay with me, I will come back to you. But I've got to do sort of a reaction video of a prominent YouTuber that I, that I promised at the beginning of this. But you're welcome to stay. And if anyone wants to stay longer and ask questions, we can continue the conversational. Although I know Barb and several others are going to have to leave. So I, I won't consider you being absent if you have to hop off now. And please, if you could do me a favor. It would really help is to like the videos on my YouTube first of all, like this one. It just helps get more views, helps the algorithm, helps YouTube know to send it to other people. Because this video is going to be available on demand, in theory forever on YouTube. And I think there were a lot of good insights and nuggets that came out from our community today. So please watch at least a couple seconds of this video because it will be on demand as soon as we finish today. Like it, leave a comment, share it on Facebook or some other social media place is really, really helpful. I typically have three videos come out on YouTube every single day. Two short ones, meaning they're less than 60 seconds. And what I found recently, the data shows that for me, people like videos between 14 and 17 seconds. My most popular videos are all 14 to 17 seconds long. I also do longer videos. I do one long video a day. That just means it's more than one minute long. Yesterday's was 12 minutes long and it was a deep dive analysis. A reaction video of Ali Abdaal, the most prominent productivity expert on YouTube these days. But a lot of them are only a minute and 20 seconds long. So please, if you have a moment and want to some quick fixes on communication skills, maybe you don't have an hour and a half to spend with our live sessions. Please leave the YouTube. Use the YouTube channel as a resource for quick tips, refreshers and updates to the courses. Because I, I'm putting a lot of energy and effort into this YouTube channel. Okay, now we're going to shift gears and I'm going to do an analysis of this YouTuber. Let me. I'm going to have to take people off. I'm not kicking you off, but I'm going to take you off of the stage. But please stay with us if you'd like to and we could even have a discussion about this guy if you want to later. But I'm going to do sort of a straightforward deep dive analysis of him and going to get my. Okay, pull this up. Note to my editor. We're going to start right here with this deep dive analysis of Iman Gadzi. And now the video is paused, ladies and gentlemen. Okay, here we are. And he is a fascinating person. I'm going to say right out again, I don't endorse everything he says, but he's a great communicator. So let's just take a look. He's one of the top communicators online today. It's Iman Ghazi. And he's only 23 years old. He's taking the YouTube world by storm. He's been on since he was a mere 14, 15 years of age and now has close to 4 million subscribers. I'm going to give you my reaction to his communication skills. Let's see what we can learn.

This video I'm going to share with you the 17 success secrets of the top 1%. Now, what this means is that I'm going to show you an insight.

So Iman always comes across with supreme confidence. He's only 23 years old, but he has been doing this for a number of years, building an audience quite steadily. You can hear in his voice, he's never rushed and he always starts off every video with something provocative.

Into what makes millionaires millionaires. But in fact, even farther than that.

Look at the hand motion. In fact, he's moving his hand down. You can tell he is acting like he's supremely competent and authoritative. By the way, I'm giving an analysis of his communication skills. I'll leave it up to others to judge him on his financial acumen, his advice on social skills and other things. I'm going to focus exclusively on his communication skills, which I do happen to think are excellent.

I've been a very fortunate situation to make tens of millions of dollars in my 20s and have an incredible audience that tunes in and listens.

Now, he's only 23 years old, but you can already see he has the production quality of people who have been at this game for decades and who have vast budgets, sometimes huge TV networks behind them. You can see the clarity of his camera, you can see the expert lighting. And now he's going to the two shot. So he's not doing like me in just one shot, which gets boring. He has two different cameras on him. It's varying and it makes the whole thing much more interesting. Interesting as a presentation to me and.

Because I've worked hard but also been incredibly blessed in this life. That's also meant that I've had anyone you could ever imagine.

So he does have a desk. He does rest his elbows on the desk, which normally I don't like because it tends to freeze people up. But he's using his hands in a way that still makes him look supremely comfortable, confident and relaxed and try to.

Reach out to me, connect. I'm talking the richest men in certain countries. I literally play paddle.

And so his subject matter is geared towards young men who want to be successful in life, want to get rich. That might not be your cup of tea. But he clearly knows his audience. It's resonating and he speaks in a way that they want to emulate him. He is very aspirational to his audience.

Tennis with I'm talking some of the highest level footballers, some of the highest level Formula One drivers. I'm talking self made owners of some of the biggest companies on earth. So the reason I tell you this.

Is because what so he's a very particular style. He's not hyper energy. He's not Gary Vaynerchuk yelling and cursing, but he's not so low key that he seems timid or scared or nervous. He is slightly lower on the register in terms of his volume and energy level, but he's doing it in a way that conveys confidence and authority. He's not rushed. Sometimes people bring their volume down and they appear to be lacking in confidence. That is not the case with this young man. He's coming across supremely confident. You can see his face very clearly. He's clearly invested money in quality lighting. I don't happen to be a fan of having the neon lights up and down and his other light, I find it a little distracting. But there's absolutely no doubt he has professional lighting. You can see his face very well. Everything looks clean, clear, professional, high quality. And it's expensive looking. And he's taken the time to make himself look the absolute best with lighting and high quality cameras.

I'm going to share with you are things that I've personally learned in my.

Time accomplishing the music underneath is not distracting. It helps set a tone of I'm a serious person with profound ideas. This is a serious production. This is an expensive production, at least a lot more so than just a simple talking head. So everything fits in a way that's totally consistent with the brand image he's created for himself over the last five years.

A fair amount, definitely a very respectable amount, but nowhere near what some of these people that I spend time with on a weekly basis. What they've accomplished. So even though the title of the video is to share with you the secrets of the top 1%, this is really stuff that applies to the top.001% in any given industry. So with no further ado, let's get straight into it now real quick before we get into this video.

All of these he comes across as extraordinarily conversational. He doesn't say sound like he's scripted for a lot of his video, but he's clearly given a lot of thought. He has structure, parts of it Certainly are written and it comes across as.

Well thought out concepts are very conceptual and are life lessons that you need to apply. But I know for a lot of people watching, they want the hey, do this, do that, don't do this, don't do that to actually start with their own entrepreneurial venture and to start.

So he is clever in his use of graphics, imagery, pictures, B roll and when he's on, it's not simple, boring, talking head. Part of it is the lighting, the set looks better. Part of it is the two camera thing creates variety and that's why he's able to captivate his audience, keep them for a long time.

Are making money online this year and there's tons of good ways to do it.

And and I should point out, this is a 24 minute and 13 second video. It's one thing to be interesting and captivating and confident for a YouTube short 30 seconds, 50 seconds or a video one or two or three minutes. This is 24 minutes long. A lot of thought was put into it. And so to his fans, they see real value and they stay with him.

Tons of bad ways to do it. So after you finish watching this video, I'd recommend you check out the most popular video on my YouTube channel where I basically compare all the most popular business.

He's also doing some very clever things of hooking people and trying to get them to watch another video. It's a solid best practice in the world of YouTube. Always be thinking about not how you can get someone to watch this whole video, but stay with you longer and go to the next one. So nice skillful plugs there that seemed to not be cloying or contrived business.

Models and actually break it down with an equation and a formula, what works and what doesn't work and what you should probably try based on your unique skill sets. So if you think that YouTube video may be of interest, I'll leave that as a first line in the description and you can watch that after you're done with this. Anyways, so the first secret of the top 1% is they realize that the woman they choose will be the most important decision that they ever made make.

So as I mentioned, he is a young man. His audience is predominantly work as men young. So he's giving advice that try to reach out to me connect is not going to resonate with a lot of women if he's talking about that in the inside, but he knows his audience. And part of the beauty of YouTube and all social media is you can focus exactly on on your audience. As I mentioned, I'm not here to judge his ideas, his concepts, his ideology or philosophy. But looking at this purely through the lens of communication skills, Iman Ghazi is a fantastic communicator. He uses his voice as an instrument. He takes the time to come across comfortable, confident, relaxed to look his best. His lighting is superb. His set is excellent. His technology is fantastic. Using multi cameras. The editing is flawless. He's always promoting people to watch the next video and he gives people depth. His videos, 20 minutes, 25 minutes, 30 minutes, sometimes longer. He really goes into great depth and that allows for stronger connection with his audience. I'm TJ Walker. That's my assessment. What do you think? Please post your comments right here on YouTube and in the video. Thanks. Okay. Note to editor, if you can cut that part out, that will be a standalone video that will show later on on this YouTube channel. Hey, thanks for everyone for joining me. I know it's late and we've spent a lot of time together and I'll just quickly add if anyone has a final comment. I do. Wanted. And I see a couple of private chats came in too. Just want to make sure I didn't. Janice says yes to Dash. Thanks so much, Janice for stopping by. Really appreciate it. Moss, Barb Santiago, everyone who joined us today, thanks so much. See you next time.