The One Skill That Separates Leaders From the Rest

Today on Ultimeyes Discover, you're getting a short practical sample from the Ultimeyes universe. Use this on its own. Take one idea and apply it today. Or go deeper at ultimeyes.com. Ultimeyes is the world's largest personal development podcast, audiobook, and online learning network. Ultimeyes. The next time a recruiter comes at you out of nowhere, don't give a number and don't say you're not interested. Say this, I'm not looking, but I'm always willing to listen. What's the approved range on this one job? Then stop. You've cost yourself nothing. You've made them go first. And if the range sits below your line, the whole thing is over in 30 seconds instead of 4 evenings. Hi, I'm your host, TJ Walker, and this is the Walkaway Number from Ultimize, the world's largest personal development podcast. Audiobook and online learning network. This series is for the professional nobody writes for— employed, paid well, and perfectly able to stay exactly where you are. You'll learn what premium a move actually has to clear, what leaving really costs you, what to say when they ask what you're after, and how to ask an employer to make you whole. Somebody wants you. Let's find out what that's worth. The message arrives on Tuesday afternoon between 2 meetings, and it begins with the words, I came across your profile and was truly impressed. You know exactly what it is and that it went to 900 other people whose profiles were also truly impressive. Your thumb hovers over the delete button, and then, for reasons you can't explain, you read it a second time. There's a job title in there that's a step above yours, and maybe even a number. And somewhere in the back of your head, a small door you thought was closed swings open about an inch. Here's what happens next for most people, and it costs them more than any other habit in their working lives. They start behaving like an applicant. They polish the resume, rearrange a week around a phone screen, and rehearse an answer about their greatest weakness. By the 4th conversation, they've been so thoroughly cast as the person being evaluated That when somebody asks what they're looking for in compensation, they answer like a person hoping to be chosen. And they were never that person. Not once. Not for a minute. Think about the actual shape of the transaction. You have a job. You have people who know your work without being told. A manager who trusts you. And a reputation you built one competent week at a time over several years. You know who to call when something breaks at 4:30 on a Friday. None of that transfers. It stays behind the day you resign, and you rebuild it from nothing somewhere else over about a year. That's what's actually on the table. You're not asking a stranger to give you something. A stranger is asking you to sell something, and it took years to become the inventory. That one ship changes every sentence you'll say from here. A buyer apologizes for the price. A seller states it. A buyer is afraid the conversation will end. A seller knows that if it ends, he goes back to a perfectly good life, which is precisely why this price is what it is. Nothing here requires you to bluff, invent a competing offer, or threaten anything. It requires one thing: that you stop pretending to need something you don't. Now, 4 different people are hearing this, and the arithmetic is a little different for each. Some of you have been somewhere 5 or 6 years. You like the work, you like the people, you're paid well, and you weren't looking. Some of you are paid just as well and you're finished. Not miserable, just done, and you'd move sideways tomorrow for something merely different. Some of you still have a badge that works, but you know the clock is running. Because the funding is thin or the role is being automated and nobody on the other end of that message knows it. And some of you aren't working at all right now by choice, after raising children or caring for a parent or selling something you built, and you have no intention of coming back in at the bottom. All 4 of you have leverage and all 4 are about to be asked what you're looking for. And the honest answer for each of you is a different number. Which is the problem because almost nobody works that number out before somebody asks for it out loud. Consider a candidate who doesn't. He's content enough where he is. He's paid $150,000 a year and the offer comes in at $160,000. $10,000 sounds like a lot of money right up until you notice it's under 7% and that it arrives alongside a forfeited bonus a manager he's met twice, and a first year as the newest person in the building. He takes it because $10,000 is more than nothing, and saying no felt ungrateful. 18 months later, he can't tell you what he gained. What gets built across these 10 sessions is the one number that would have saved him. It's the figure below which a move isn't worth making, and it comes from 3 things. How much you genuinely miss what you have, what leaving actually costs you in dollars, and what the market actually pays you. You build it in private before anyone asks. The alternative is letting a flattering message on a slow Tuesday build it for you, and it will build it low. So, what are you looking for? Those are the 7 words that terrify a person who needs a job. And the easiest question in the world for a person who doesn't. You just have to answer like someone whose life is fine, because it is. The mistake almost everybody makes is answering like someone auditioning, which is how a well-paid professional ends up spending 4 evenings interviewing for a job that pays less than the one she already has. Start with the very first contact, because that's where the whole thing gets decided. A recruiter reaches out and you're mildly curious. Here's the sentence: I'm not looking, but I'm always willing to listen. What's the approved range on this one? Then stop talking, stop typing. That does 3 things at once. It tells the truth, which is that you weren't shopping. It keeps the door open, and it puts the first number where it belongs, on the person who initiated contact. Nearly every role has a budgeted range. The recruiter knows it. And a recruiter talking to somebody who isn't looking will usually just tell you because the alternative is losing your interest in the next 10 seconds. If the range comes back below your number, you're done. And you're done in 30 seconds instead of a month. Say this: I appreciate you thinking of me. That's below where I'd need to be to consider a move, but I'd love to stay in touch if something bigger comes up. Warm, honest, no bridge burner, and a recruiter who now has you filed under a high number for the rest of her career. That's not a failed conversation. It's 30 seconds that saved you 4 evenings, and it's available only because you don't need the job. Now, the harder version. You're interested, they've asked, and they won't name a range. Here's where the person with leverage does something you'd never advise for somebody who's desperate. Go first and go high deliberately. When you're employed and comfortable, the risk of anchoring too high is small and the reward is large because the worst realistic outcome is being told you're above their range, which is information you wanted anyway. So, I'm well paid and happy where I am, so I only move for something meaningfully better. For me, that means total compensation starting around $180,000, for example. If that's in range, I'm genuinely interested. If it isn't, I'd rather we both know now. Notice there's no apology in there and nothing softening it. You're not protecting the conversation, you're testing it. Now, there's the question about what you make right now. In a growing number of places, Employers can't legally ask it. And it's worth knowing the rules where you live, though you needn't cite them. Wherever you are, you never lie, and you also never simply answer with a number. If you're paid well, use it. I'm at about $150,000 all in, and I'm not unhappy, which is why my bar for moving is higher than the market rate. That converts your salary from a ceiling they'll anchor to into a floor have to clear. If you're paid below market, don't give that figure at all. Just say, I'd rather not anchor this to my current role because it isn't priced the way this one is. I'm focused on what this position is worth. Say it pleasantly and move on. Nobody's ever withdrawn interest over that sentence. Consider a candidate who's been at her company 6 years. Likes it and gets a call. She uses the first sentence, here's an approved range topping out a few thousand dollars below her current total compensation, thanks the recruiter, and hangs up in under a minute. 3 months later, the same recruiter calls with something at a different level entirely because she's now categorized as expensive, and expensive people get called about expensive jobs. She didn't do anything clever. She declined to be treated as a candidate for a job that couldn't afford her. Practice these out loud tonight, standing up, until they sound like something you'd say to a colleague rather than a line you memorized. There are only 3: the willing-to-listen sentence, the go-first sentence with your own number in it, and the graceful exit. Everything gets easier once those exist in your mouth instead of your head, and the person on the other end hears the difference immediately. What they hear is somebody who's fine either way, which happens to be the literal truth. By the way, quick question for you. Have you ever noticed how easy it is to consume content and how hard it is to actually do anything with it? I mean, you can listen to 100 episodes, read 10 books, and your habits are exactly the same. That's the gap most people never close. So if you're listening to this and thinking, yeah, I want to actually improve, go to ultimize.com. We've got free courses there for you, either on communication skills or building better habits. And it's designed to get you to actually use what you're learning, not just hear it once. No cost, no catch. Just go to ultimize.com and start. Ultimize.