The Power of Positive Communication

Are you communicating enough positive messages? You may be thinking, well, I'm tough. I am no nonsense, I'm no bs. I'm going to point out when this employee does this wrong or my child does this wrong or the restaurant screws up the order, yeah, you can do that. The problem is human nature doesn't work that way. People shut down. They protect themselves by saying, I'm not going to listen to this nattering nabob of negativity any longer. There's been a lot of research conducted, especially in close relationships, spousal relationships. You need at least three positive statements, three compliments for every one negative. Otherwise you're not going to be in a good relationship. Your communication is going to fall apart. This applies to communicating with employees, bosses, colleagues, people you interact with in restaurants, other businesses. If the first thing out of your mouth is something negative and the last thing people are going to shut you down, they're not going to listen. I'm not suggesting you have to make up stuff, lie gillbillily, or just tell people insincerely what you think they want to hear. You have to legitimately be looking for positive things to say. You have to legitimately be looking for things people are doing well and commenting on that. This way you'll have the credibility. When you do have to deliver the negative, you've got to get the ratio right. You need more positive messages, ideally at least three positives for every negative message. If you want someone to even hear your negative message.