TJ Walker explains why speakers should arrive early to talk with attendees, weave those conversations into their remarks, and make deliberate eye contact. These simple habits increase how much audiences remember and act on what you say.
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So how do you make your audience like you? Now, I hate to sound like a phony or Mr. Manipulative or a con man, but all things being equal, if your audience likes you, they're going to be more receptive to your message. They're going to listen more carefully, they're going to be more open to your ideas, and they're more likely to say good things about you and pass your message on. So I'm not suggesting you have to seduce the audience and make them all love you. But the more likable you are, the easier it is for your message to resonate. So here are a few tips. For starters, just show up early in the room, talk to people. Don't act like you're this huge mega celebrity, even if you are a mega celebrity, and just waltz in at the last minute with the big introduction and then waltz out at the end and off to your helicopter, your limousine. No, get there early and stay late. When you get there, talk to people, introduce yourself. Find out what their concerns are that relate to your area of expertise. So, for example, when I get to a venue where I'm giving a speech or a keynote, I'll ask people about where they're comfortable giving speeches and where they're uncomfortable giving speeches. So I'm showing an interest in them, giving them a sense of physically shaking their hands and just being friendly. It's not necessarily a high skill requirement. It's not difficult. But you have to show what you can't do is show up early, go off in the corner, say, don't bother me, and have your head buried in your notes. That's not the time to be trying to practice your speech. You should have done that before you ever walked in the room. The next step is incorporate little segments of your conversations with people in the speech. Now, nothing embarrassing, but quite often I'll start my speech by saying, so why are we here? Jim, you mentioned you're comfortable speaking most of the time, but when you get up in front of a large group, you get a little nervous. Guess what? That's how most people feel. I'm going to give you some tips to deal with that. Jose, you meant. So I'll weave in a few segments of the conversation. So now those people feel like, wow, he really listened to me. The rest of the audience is realizing, okay, TJ Isn't just giving us the same canned, memorized speech. He's actually showing he's had conversations with us. Plus, anyone else I talk to in the room before the speech is thinking, I better pay attention, he might reference something I said to him. So that is a great way of making the audience feel more comfortable with you. Another is just having better eye contact. Really look at people and I'll give you more details in highly specific ways in future episodes on how to get even better at eye contact. But certainly looking at people and not burying your head in your notes or staring at PowerPoint slides the whole time, letting them know. Unless you're speaking to a thousand people, and there's a strict time limit that you'll take their questions anytime because this isn't your presentation, it's the audience's presentation. And finally, don't dash off. I understand if you have an emergency or you're going to miss a plane, but when you can control it, build in some time after your speech so you can actually talk to the audience. Now, this is valuable to them, but it's also valuable to you because you will get more feedback on what worked for your speech so you can make your next speech better. You'll also make the audience just feel more comfortable with you, like you more, maybe want to ask you more questions, follow up, continue the conversation. This may motivate them to go back and read the materials you either email or are you handed out. Might make them motivated to want to buy your book, if you're selling a book. So all of these good things can happen just by staying after and talking to them. And if there's a lunch or a dinner or a cocktail party and you don't have urgent matters taking you away, by all means, stay there with people, have a meal with them, socialize with them, have a drink with them, and you'll come across much more likable as a speaker and therefore a more effective speaker.
