A short live-stream segment (TJ Walker, July 21, 2015) answering a viewer question about how public speakers should handle men's hair loss and appearance. Walker downplays the importance of audience concern, advises against cover-ups (toupees, slicking back, coloring), recommends cutting hair very short, using powder (kabuki/matte powder) under bright lights to reduce shine, and emphasizing content and confidence over perfect looks.
Chapters
Alonzo writes in with the following question about men's hair loss as it relates to public speaking. He says, dear TJ I have a unique question. How should public speakers handle their appearance if they are going through hair loss? How did you handle it? Did you try things like toupees and hats and other cover ups to cover the hair loss? This has been extremely painful. Process my appearance. So please don't respond with the usual, just be a man and get over it. Okay, so it is a situation I have some relevant experience with. Here's the thing, Alonzo. I understand it's not fun, but keep in mind most people in your audience when you're giving a speech, 99.9% of them don't care. I'm not telling you just to be a man, but I need you to focus on what is really important. Now, I've seen a picture of you on the Internet that you provided. You have a lot more hair than Dr. Phil does. And Dr. Phil makes $50 million a year. So just keep that in mind. And I would say that with respect to any aspect of your appearance, if you think you're not good looking enough to be in the media or to give speeches, chances are you're younger than Barbara Walters, chances are you're thinner than Oprah, chances are you're prettier than Judge Judy, and chances are you have much better hair than Dr. Phil. So when it comes to your appearance, I'm not saying it doesn't matter at all. There are very few truly ugly people who are presidents or are prominent newscasters and anchors. I understand that, but do keep in mind you don't have to be perfect. It's far more important to have something interesting to say to help people and to say it with confidence. Now, I don't want to seem like I'm dodging the question that came in from Alonzo. I do have a couple of tips for men who are losing hair. For starters, don't try to cover anything. You're not going to fool anyone. Typically, just cut it as short as possible. And that doesn't make your hair look thicker. It just doesn't distract people and they can focus on your face. As you can see, that's pretty much my strategy, cutting my hair really short. And I can give prominence to other attributes like my face. The problem is once your hair is thinning and you try to have it long and whether it's a comb over or not, it's going to look like a comb over, it's going to attract attention. Whatever you do And I hate to say some of my friends do this. Don't slick your hair back. It's not 1985. You're not Michael Douglas and Wall Street. And by the way, that only looks good if you have a perfectly thick head of hair. If you're thinning, if your hair is thinning, better off to not put gels, not do anything extreme. Don't do anything long. For that matter, don't color it. The lightness of your scalp is going to show through even more if you color your hair, and it's going to look awful. Now, I will give you one tip. If you are going to be under bright lights and you are going to be on TV making a video, making a YouTube video, this is something I do, and some of you will laugh. But this is something called kabuki. You can get this on the Internet. You can get it on Amazon. It's a powder, and I sprinkle it. I'm not doing it now. I sprinkle it on the top of my head and then with a light brush, brush it on. It doesn't make my hair look thicker. This is a gray color to match my hair. What it does is it eliminates the shine and reflection off of your forehead. So you don't blind people with the shine off your forehead because. And the top of your scalp, because everyone's head produces oil. As your hair thins, the oil is going to make things really shiny, shinier than the rest of your face. You don't have to use this powder. You could use any mosaic powder. I only recommend this if you're going to be on video and you're going to have bright lights. I do not recommend this for social purposes or just going out to the mall or to dinner. But that's really the main thing, is make it as short as possible and give people something else to look at, something else to hear that's memorable. And as I say, it hasn't hurt. Dr. Phil, your lack of hair doesn't have to hurt you. Unless you're running for President of the United States. That does seem to be one place where people really care. I'm TJ Walker. Thanks for asking. Post your questions right here or send them to me directly.
