TJ Walker argues parents spend thousands on sports and music lessons but skip communication training. He recommends dinnertime conversations without phones, having kids make verbal cases for what they want, and recording practice speeches to review together.
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What is the best way to develop communication skills with your own child? Constantly amazes me. People who will spend almost anything to help their kid become a basketball player, even though their chances of making it to the pros practically zero. People will spend untold sums helping their child with piano skills even though they're not going to become concert pianists, but will then spend nothing on their communication skills or public speaking skills. Even the best private schools in America and most places in the world spend almost no time and have no structured curriculum on public speaking. For example, I'm a big believer in starting out early for one having dinnertime conversations. Put the cell phones away and talk. Have different family members talk about something interesting that happened. Encourage conversation. Encourage discussion. If your child wants something, make them make the case. I'm not suggesting that you demand your 4 year old put together an elaborate PowerPoint presentation to ask for 10 cents to go get a gumball. But I am suggesting that you encourage at an early age them verbally expressing their needs in detail to make a compelling case. Not just whining or crying or pitching a fit. Which unfortunately can work well too. But the number one way you can really help your child become a better communicator is to find out when in school they have to talk in front of the class. If it's show and tell day, if it's the first day back from school after summer break and they have to get up and talk about what they did in their summer vacation, find out what it is. If it's a book report, find out when and where. And then practice with your child. Have your child speak out loud. Video record it on your cell phone, your iPad, or your laptop. Have your child look at it. But here's the thing. You may think you're being helpful by saying, stand up straight. I told you your posture needs to be better. You cannot start by attacking and pointing out flaws. It just doesn't help. Trust me. Doesn't help on CEOs, doesn't help with my clients. It's not going to help with your kids. Get your child used to practicing on video. It's the single best thing you could ever do. If you want your child to become a president or a CEO or a major, have a major position in any organization because those people all have to speak and be comfortable and confident doing it. So urge your child and actually work with them. Hold the camera, record it and then be encouraging. Talk about what you like in their book report. Talk about what you like in what they said with their show and tell encourage them, build up their confidence and have them practice again and again and again to get better. The real magical moment is when you can have them practice one look at it and get them to the point where they like how they're coming across. If you get to that point, your child will not be nervous in front of the classroom. Your child will speak more effectively and more confidently than all the other students.
