TJ Walker teaches how to beat fear of public speaking: film yourself practicing, watch it back, cut what doesn't work, repeat until you enjoy watching yourself. He says fear is rational when you have no proof you can give a good talk, and dismisses meditation and visualization as band-aids.
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So how do I get over my fear of public speaking? That's a question I'm asked time and time again. And I've got an answer that may surprise you. For starters, if you have a fear of public speaking, that's rational. Because, let's face it, most speeches are boring. Most speeches are awful. Most speeches put their audiences to sleep. So if you're nervous, perhaps with good reason. The answer is not just to feel better about it. The answer isn't to close your eyes and meditate or visualize a standing ovation or to do a shot or take a beta blocker. Those all mask the problem. The problem is you don't yet have evidence that you're actually going to give a great speech. Let's focus on the actual solution. Think of it this way. If I told you, hey, I'm nervous about walking through Times Square in broad daylight naked. I'm afraid that people are going to point and laugh and that I might get arrested. Are you just going to turn to me and say, well, T.J. i'm sure it's not going to be that bad. I'm sure some people will like the show. Maybe there won't be any police around. Just visualize everybody applauding. Is that what you're gonna say? I don't think so. I think you'd probably say, tj, Put some clothes on. You shouldn't be walking through Times Square naked. Here's how that relates to public speaking. If you haven't seen yourself give a speech that's interesting that you yourself would want to listen to, then it makes perfect sense to be nervous, to be fearful. So here is the solution. Practice your speech on video. Pull out your cell phone. Record it. You don't have to hire a TV crew. Just record yourself. Watch it. Figure out, what do you like, what do you not like. Do more of what you like. Do less of what you don't like. Keep doing that until you can look at the whole video and say, wow, that's interesting. I would love to watch that person speak. When you get to that point, guess what? It becomes virtually impossible to be nervous at public speaking. Now, I know some of you are saying, dj, you know, I'm afraid to do that. I don't want to look at myself. Tighten up. Don't lie to yourself, don't lie to me, and don't lie to yourself. You're not afraid to do this. It's not hard to do. You just don't want to do it. If my wife says, tj, get in the garage. And clean it out. If I told her, you know, Joanne, I am afraid to clean the garage, she'd say, you're a liar. You just don't want to do it. And you know what? She would be absolutely correct. I'm not afraid to clean the garage. I just don't like doing it. You might not like speaking to your cell phone or a webcam or an iPad, recording it and watching it, but you're not literally afraid of doing it. And you're not doing something that's wildly difficult. You push a button and you talk. You've been pushing buttons and talking your entire life. So don't tell me that it's hard to do or that you're afraid to do it. You just don't like to do it. Well, tough. One thing I can guarantee you is your audience doesn't care about you. They just want you to deliver something that's interesting to them, useful to them, and memorable. The number one way of doing that is by practicing on video until you love what you see. Once you do that, I guarantee you you're not going to be filled with fear because you're not going to be afraid of the unknown, because your speech is not going to be unknown. You'll actually know exactly how you're coming across. You'll know that you're coming across the way you want to and that it's interesting. Do that and your fears will melt away. I'm TJ Walker. Thanks for joining me. If you want regular tips, and I promise you I'll be a little gentler than I was today. If you want regular tips on how to be a better presenter, to be completely comfortable and confident, please like my Facebook page. It's facebook.com tjwalkerinteractive.
