TJ Walker explains how to say no without inviting argument. Respond quickly and directly with "No, thanks. I'm going to pass." Skip the excuses that make people push back. His rule: anyone can ask, but they accept a simple no without demanding reasons.
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What do you do when someone asks you to do something and you just don't want to do it? This isn't strictly speaking a public speaking issue. It's often one on one. But I want to occasionally give you tips on how to handle yourself when speaking to one person as well. We all get asked to do things from time to time where we're just not comfortable. We just don't want to do it. We may have all the time in the world. We just don't want to do it. That's okay. My advice, someone ask you? Someone ask me to do something. I'll just say, no, thanks, I'm going to pass. I wish you luck with that. It's not that there's any magic in any of those phrases. The key thing I did though is I didn't then give an excuse as to why I didn't want to do it or couldn't do it. Because once you start justifying, you dig yourself into a hole and you give someone an opportunity to start a debate with you. Someone wants to want you to give a campaign contribution to a politician that you don't support. Getting into this whole long to do of why you don't like this person could waste an hour and a half of your time and sometimes it ends up ending friendships. Just say no, thanks. In my experience, if you're quick, direct, polite and forceful, and if you stick to it, if someone does probe, then they'll understand. Okay, the response is going to be no. Maybe I know why the answer is no, maybe I don't. But there's no sense digging. The key is for me anyway. You don't act angry, don't act annoyed, don't act bothered. But I never act like I have to defend my choice. I have a rule with family, friends and strangers. You can ask me anything. I'm not going to get bothered. But the corollary to that is you have to be prepared for me to say no without reason. Unless it is close family. You have to be ready to receive that answer of no without reason. Also without getting no. Hope that's helpful for you. We all get stuck in awkward situations. Sometimes we need to have a default position. Your default should be to simply say, no, thank you. I'm going to pass for now. I'm TJ Walker. Thanks for joining me. I'd ask you to like this video. Leave a comment, share it, and hey, if your answer is no to that, that's okay.
