TJ WALKER - THE HABIT INFLUENCER - Personal Development | LIVE STREAM

Is the fear of public speaking and presenting to others, sabotaging your own career.

Speaking the show about effective speaking in public, to the media, at work and in life. Speaking with TJ Walker.

Folks, there are a lot of bad ideas in the world put out there by so called presentation experts like me that really have no legitimate scientific foundation and are often dubious in nature. For example, you've heard public speaking is the number one fear people have. Well, something tells me if your boss says, okay TJ you either give the welcoming speech to the Monday morning staff meeting today or I'm going to push you off a cliff to your death. What do you fear more? Believe me, I'd figure out a way to give that introductory speech and I think that pretty much everyone would. So obviously the fear of speaking can't be a higher fear than being pushed to your death off a cliff. So I'm always highly suspicious of a lot of data put out by so called speaking experts that are frankly self serving. And the worst, the most notorious of all, of course, is the twisting and perversion of the study from 1972 at UCLA that purports to show that 93% of all communication has nothing to do with what you say, but it's your voice and your body language is complete utter nonsense. So I was struck by some research that came across my desk earlier this week that actually seems to have some scientific validity. This was a study published by a website, CV Library, and it's CV Library. You can find it online if you'd like to google it. But they did a survey of more than 3,000 workers in the United Kingdom, which seems like a fairly legitimate and large database to pull from and a nice sample size. Here's what they found that more than a quarter of workers in the United Kingdom chose their career paths in order to avoid their office fears. And guess what was way up there in office fear. But it's more specific than just public speaking. So I want to share these results with you. The survey found that 15.7% of the 3,000 workers said that public speaking was the biggest thing that made them nervous and had anxiety. So they actually chose their jobs, chose their professions to avoid public speaking. Now that part isn't that surprising. But they also, they have different categories for this delivering presentations. 12.2% said that that gave them uneasiness. They had qualms about that. Now in my mind, delivering presentations is a type of public speaking, but people have different ways of compartmentalizing that cold calling was up there 11.5%. Now full disclosure, folks. I have had times in my career early on when I did cold calling. I don't like cold calling. It's an extraordinarily rare breed of person who does like cold calling. If you do like cold calling, you've probably figured out a way to become a multi millionaire because if you are good at it and you don't mind 300 rejections a day, There are a lot of ways of making money from cold calling, whether you're selling stocks or paper products. But I certainly understand people not liking cold calling and wanting to pick a profession that helps them avoid cold calling. Now it gets even more specific. Leading a meeting. 7.3% of the respondents said that that was something that created anxiety and they would actually went out of their way to avoid jobs that involved leading a meeting. Well, let me tell you folks, if you're avoiding jobs that involve leading a meeting, you're really narrowing your career options. I just don't know of many people forget being CEO, but head of a division, head of a department. I don't know how you can elevate yourself to any of these positions if you actively go out of your way to take a job that involves leading a meeting. Now, some of the things that people feared are not related to public Speaking. Missing targets. 6.7% were nervous about that. Well, that I can relate to and understand because if you're put in charge of sales and you're supposed to do 10% sales and it's 4%, well, there's going to be some anxiety there. You could perhaps lose your job. Here's one. Speaking on the phone. 6.4% of respondents said that this bothered them. Attending social events. 6%. Now frankly, that kind of surprises me. I think, you know, getting to go to a party, a networking event is what strikes me as fun. Obviously, not everyone feels that way. And 6%, excuse me, 6.4% well, didn't like the phone. 6% don't like attending social events, managing budgets. 5.7. Nothing to do with public speaking. I can certainly understand why that bothers people and it creates anxiety. So there are a couple of other things, like being away from home. Yeah, I understand. I've got a young child. I certainly wouldn't want a job where I had to be away from home, traveling five days a week the way some consultants and some professionals do. But I am just struck by, by how many of these concerns are really all the same thing. Speaking cold calling, talking to people at social events, leading presentations, public speaking, leading meetings. It's all the same thing, folks. It's talking, it's presentation skills. And of course, that's what I do for a living. So on the one hand, it's hard for me to imagine people with this mindset. On the other hand, it's great. That's gravy for me because it means more people need these skills. And it also means when more people come to podcast like this or do my online training or go to anyone's workshop, they instantly elevate themselves from the competition and they instantly increase their odds of career advancement, since so many people are going out of their way to avoid jobs that require speaking. Now, folks, those of you who are regular listeners of this show, you may get bored of me saying this, but whether you're about to give a speech in work, lead a meeting, deliver a presentation, do a cold call, the way to prepare is very simple. Just practice out loud on video, use your cell phone until you like it. I'm not a betting man, but I am willing to bet that basically 99.99% of the respondents of this survey who claim to be fearful of these things have never actually practiced any of these skills on video. And if they have, they did it once, didn't like what they saw, and promptly gave up. Well, if that had been their attitude, learning math or science or writing, they wouldn't know any math or science or writing too. Learning is about trying new things, getting feedback, learning from your mistakes, and doing it again and again and again. In the case of basic math and science, it's years and years and years of formal instruction in school, even though your particular job might not require or need any math or science. And yet in the workplace, how you speak is incredibly, incredibly important. Most people are not taught this in high school or college or elementary school. Certainly if they are taught that, they are taught in a way that is often counterproductive because they aren't videotaped where they only do it once or twice. I have a few more thoughts on this in just a moment.

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So folks, to me, it's just sad. It is profoundly sad for someone who may be incredibly hardworking, smart, passionate about a particular field, a particular industry, and then to limit themselves to put a cap their own glass or iron ceiling on their career because they've never taken the time to to get comfortable and confident and proficient at public speaking, private speaking and communicating. Because it's just so easy. Now, if I said to and any of you who are athletes, you can just change the name for your favorite sport. But I'm going to use the example of golf. Even though I'm not a golfer, I'm a horrible golfer. If I said to you, look, I don't care if you've ever played golf before in your life. I have a system whereby if you just play golf every day for a month and you set up your cell phone and you video record yourself and you watch it, by the end of the month you will be a scratch golfer. And for those of you don't follow golf, that just means you shoot as well as the pros. You'll be a scratch golfer by the end of the month. You'll then be able to be a professional golfer. You can charge people to teach them how to golf or you can go on tour and make a decent living. I'm not claiming you'll be the next Tiger woods and make tens of millions of dollars, but you'll be able to make a good living golfing. Now if I said that to most of you, especially if you're golfers, you would say your first response would be tj's crazy. This sounds like the sleaziest infomercial pitch I've ever heard in my entire life. And you would be right. Because just playing golf every day for a month and videotaping yourself isn't going to make you to the point where you're professional or a scratch golfer. It might help you a little bit, but you still, I mean, if I did that, I'd still be awful. I shoot 180 now. Maybe I'd shoot 170 again. For those of you who don't follow golf, that is so bad you would be kicked out of most country clubs. But speaking is really different. I actually can guarantee you if you practice your speeches regularly, it doesn't even have to be all day long for a month. If you just practice your speech video, record it, figure out what you like, figure out what you don't like, you will be the equivalent of a scratch golfer. Meaning you'll be better than almost anyone you know. You will be as good as so called professional speakers because that's really all it takes. You don't have to have fantastic eye hand coordination the way you do to be a world class golfer. You don't have to have the most graceful pose and balance the way you need to if you're going to be a world class ice skater for the Olympics. You don't need any of those Things you just need to basically show up. Practice on video. Really listen to yourself. In fact, you don't even have to use video. If you want to get better at the skill of talking to people over the telephone or doing cold calls, just use the audio record button on your cell phone. Do that again and again and again, and you will, in fact, get to the point where you'll be great. You won't necessarily be the next Anthony Robbins and have people pay you hundreds of thousands of dollars of speech, but you're going to be better than almost anyone in your company. Now, if you aspire to make more money, and that's not the only thing that matters in life. But a better job, a different job, I guarantee you being a better speaker is not going to hurt your odds. It won't necessarily get you the job, but it certainly could help. And it instantly differentiates you from these 25% of workers, at least in the United Kingdom, who are actively avoiding jobs that involve public speaking. So that's my word of encouragement to you. I really, really want to, frankly beg you. Unless you are absolutely convinced that the job you have is 100% perfect. It's the absolute best job in the world. And in this job, you never have to speak to anyone. And you're fine with that? Well, then, well, frankly, I don't know why you'd be listening or watching this podcast. But if that's not the case, just keep in mind that it's going to be really easy to improve.

A question for you.

I like to do my own survey. Now, I want to know how many of you have actually turned down a job or avoided even applying for a job because of the public speaking component. Now, to someone wired like me, it's hard for me to even fathom that, but certainly it does exist. Here is empirical evidence from CD library, according to a poll from 3,000 workers in the United Kingdom. And now, let's not forget, I train people all over the world. And the perception is that people in the United Kingdom are much better at public speaking than most. Certainly in America, we think of people. The United Kingdom is just almost innately superior to public speaking. This is the land of Winston Churchill, Tony Blair. So if anything, the numbers here should be lower as far as fear of public speaking. And yet, according to this, it sounds like a quarter of the workforce is essentially sabotaging its own career. So I want to know from you. So send me an email or communicate with me on Twitter. J. Walker on Twitter, or you can post on our Facebook page or blog. Have you ever turned down a job or avoided applying for a job simply because of the speaking or presentation component? I want to hear from you. Thanks so much for joining me today. As always, may all of your presentation opportunities in life be a success.

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