In this live-stream segment, TJ Walker answers a question from an online student (Kim from Long Island) who worries that public speaking mistakes may be judged more harshly because she is a woman. Walker argues that public-speaking anxiety is universal, emphasizes focusing on being interesting and helpful rather than avoiding mistakes, and offers pragmatic advice and examples showing that strong content and stage presence win audience approval regardless of gender.
Chapters
Is it tougher giving a speech or presentation in the workplace if you're a woman? Letter comes in from one of my online students. This is from Kim from Long Island. She says, dj, I'd like to become a technical speaker and presenter. I'm a respected IT professional, but I have fear of speaking in front of a crowd. And because I'm a woman, it is harder if I make a mistake than if a man in my position does. That's why I need to make sure I can do this with confidence. Well, first of all, I congratulate you for trying to improve your public speaking skills. Welcome to the course. I'm glad that you're trying to learn new things. I do think it's hard for anybody to give a speech. I don't want to sound like I am saying that. This is all in your head. And there's no such thing as sexism. There is sexism. There is definitely sexism in the workplace. There are more CEOs of Fortune 500 companies named John than there are all of the women CEOs in the world. So believe me, I'm not here to say, stop the belly aching and it's all in your head. However, I do want to share with you my perspective when it comes to public speaking. I have trained thousands of women all over the world, thousands of men. Here's what I found. Everybody in the world has some insecurity about public speaking. Everybody feels that they are somehow uniquely disadvantaged when it comes to public speaking. People in other countries think. Think that they are uniquely bad in their country and that everybody in the United States is great. A lot of women I've worked with feel that men are just naturally better public speakers. I've worked with plenty of men who feel that women are better talkers. They also feel that, for example, if it's an over 50 man, T.J. the pressure's on me. Everyone expects a guy over 50 to be a good speaker. I don't get any brownie points. They're looking at me more harshly than someone else does. So everybody, at some level is nervous about public speaking. Everybody feels that somebody else is uniquely qualified or uniquely talented at public speaking. And in my experience, it's just not the case. Now, you mentioned that it's somehow worse if you make a mistake. And here's the problem with that analysis, Kim. 99% of all speakers, men and women, are awful. They're boring. They make the mistake of being completely uninteresting because they are doing a data dump. And if you are a speaker, man or woman and you just say something interesting. If you just say something memorable that's helpful to your audience, they will love you. Not saying all the other workplace issues go away or that all sexism goes away, but in general, I have seen very conservative, male dominated audiences absolutely love female speakers. I've seen Suze Orman in front of 10,000 people, almost all men, and they thought she was far and away the better speaker than anyone else that day. Was it because she was a woman? No. Was it because she was a lesbian? No. It was because she was interesting. It was because she had fun on stage. It was because she gave examples and case studies and walked around. She did all the things that great speakers do, whether they're men or women. The other part I really want to tweak. As far as your perception going into this is beyond being a great speaker is not about avoiding mistakes that can't be your focus. You've got to have a positive goal of am I actually sharing some ideas that I care about and that I can make interesting and relevant and memorable to this audience? If you do that, you're going to be wildly successful. Your audience, male and female, will love you because you're going to be so much better than most speakers. Don't worry about mistakes. I've made mistakes in this video already, but I'm not going to worry about it because I'm pretty confident that I've conveyed the main idea I want and that if anyone takes me up on it, they will benefit. So please keep that in mind and good luck on the platform.
