TJ WALKER - THE HABIT INFLUENCER - Personal Development | LIVE STREAM

Are you looking for help in criticizing workers, colleagues, co workers in the workplace? Hi, I'm TJ Walker and I'm a communications expert. This video is going to give you very, very specific, practical tips on how to offer criticism in a constructive way in the workplace. Now, let's step back for a moment. Why would you even want to criticize someone in the workplace? Well, if it's someone who works for you, if it is an employee who reports to you, if it's anybody you have oversight over, then it is your job to manage that person. If they're doing something that's causing a problem, that's making them disruptive, that's harming their own productivity or other people's productivities, it's your job to rectify the situation. And you have to do that occasionally by criticizing. However, there are good ways of criticizing workers and there are bad ways. By the way, if you want even more in depth information on this, I'm just going to give you a very short plug. I have an online training course that gives you more exercises and more details on how to deal with that. You can look at the link below. But in this course, just in this video, you don't have to purchase anything. You're going to learn practical tips on exactly how to criticize, how to do it in a way where the person you're criticizing is receptive, where they're listening to you, where you don't increase their defensiveness, and there's a good chance they'll actually follow the prescriptions you offer on how to change whatever it is that's wrong, how to rectify the situation is a problem. So let's start out at the beginning. You have an employee, a colleague, a worker in an organization where you've been brought in to solve a problem. They're clearly doing something wrong. How do you start? Now everybody says, well, just be direct, be honest, sugar coat. People will even tell you that to their face. Oh, tell me like it is. Don't sugarcoat it. Tell me how I can improve it. People say that, guess what? Well, they're not lying, but they're not being honest to themselves. It is simply human nature not to enjoy criticism and to defend ourselves. So even though workers often say, I want to improve, I want to critique. If you just go right in and tell somebody, this is awful, that's awful, you're doing this wrong, this is bad. You end up just making them defensive. You can make them angry and you set in motion this whole thought process of, well, who is this guy to Be telling me how I should be coming across, or who is this woman? What do they know? Well, last week I saw them doing the same thing. Who are they to criticize me? Consciously or unconsciously, you arouse people's defense mechanisms. It's a part of our own self preservation drive. We try to protect ourselves by defending ourselves when we are attacked. When someone in the workplace is telling us we're doing something wrong or stupid or bad or unproductive, it is simply human nature to say, no, you're wrong, I'm perfectly fine, don't fire me, don't cut my wages. So you've got to figure out a way of bypassing that whole exchange. Here's what I recommend. The most effective thing to do is start off with the positive. I know people say, well, that's cliche or that's all corny, or that might not even seem authentic or real. It has to be real. But you have to start off by telling the employee exactly what they do well, what their strengths are. And you can simply start by saying, I'd like to have an evaluation of your work performance. Let's start and then go in and talk specifically about what they do well. So for example, in my own area of expertise, I coach executives within companies how to give speeches and presentations more effectively. And quite often someone comes to me, they speak, I videotape them, or a videotape is sent to me and they're frankly awful. But here's the thing. Everyone does a number of things well. Everyone at least isn't committing certain mistakes that other people make. So the way I start is, hey, I've looked at the video of you speaking, or I've seen you speak and you have many, many strong communication fundamentals. You do many things well. For example, your speaking speed is good, your volume is good, there's variation. I'll list many, many things they're doing well. This person is now not scared, they're not afraid, they're not defensive. And frankly, my credibility has gone up because I'm telling them things they did well that no one else's perhaps ever told them. Now you can adapt this to your own situation. If you are working with a receptionist who is rude on the phone, don't just start off by saying, hey, you sound like an idiot on the phone, people hate you. That's not the way to start. Instead, focus on exactly what this person does well in other situations, maybe this person is really friendly to co workers. Maybe when someone walks in off the street and asks a question, the person is Incredibly friendly. So focus on that. Say, Jim, I just want to compliment you on your demeanor, in your face to face exchanges with customers off the street. You always have patience. You're easy to understand. I've gotten compliments from people who said that you really helped them. Start off complimenting the person you're trying to help. And don't forget, people have to sense that you're there trying to help them. If you're just being critical, to be nasty, to be vindictive, to be Don Rickles attacking for humor, none of this is going to work. Work. You have to genuinely in your heart be critiquing someone because you want to make them better and to make the organization better if they don't sense that none of this is going to work. So you've got to give them a sense that you care about them, you want to advance their career. If nothing else, you want to make sure they don't get fired. You want to solve this problem. So start off telling them exactly what they do well and why they are valued here. But you've got to be really, really specific. Can't just be, you know, Jim, with all due respect, everybody loves you around here, but you're really awful at X, Y and Z. That's not specific enough. That's not good enough. You can't be specific about what you don't like like and be general and vague and fuzzy about their strengths. So whatever it is you do in your business, whatever it is these employees do, you've got to figure out something that they do well that is highly, highly specific. So get back to my specialty. When I'm helping someone give a speech and improving their speaking skills, I have to be really, really specific. Maybe the person was incredibly boring and red, but I can at least point out to them you didn't have any ums and ahs. You didn't have ers and you knows and fillers. That is a common problem people have. And if I can point out that they didn't have these problems, it makes them relax a little more. It makes them feel like, wow, I don't have thousand problems to solve. So when I do get to the problems they do have, it seems manageable because it's only a couple and they're doing all these things well. So that's a huge, huge tip. And it's really the starting point. You've got to catalog the strengths this person has, what they are doing well, you need to send them a signal that you're not just some nasty, critical, harping person. You're someone who has a good eye for talent. You're someone who understands them. You're someone who understands their job, their job responsibilities. And that's why you've got to catalog every single thing they do well, how they're doing it well, why they're doing it well. And before you know it, you're now a credible source of feedback, which means we're only one step away from being a credible source of criticism. So you've got to establish your credibility, because right now it doesn't matter if you're technically their boss. And you can fire them if all you ever do is criticize people. Ah, Jane, you're late again. Ah, Sam, your desk is a mess. If all you ever do is complain. Yeah, you're giving feedback. And your feedback may be legitimate, but it's too easy to just write you off as a negative, nasty, grumpy person. And nobody likes to listen to that. It's too easy to simply discount anything from that person. So start off with the strengths. Be really, really, really specific. Then you've got to go in for the criticism. But here's the thing. If someone's doing 10 things wrong, don't get greedy. You're not going to solve 10 problems at once. My recommendation, focus on one. One specific thing and let them know, hey, Bill, you're doing all these things well. Let me give you one suggestion in one area where I think you could be easier, even better. Right now you're doing X, Y and Z. And it's causing a problem because of this. So you're phrasing it. Not in that you're an incompetent boob. You're a fool. It's that there's one area that isn't quite as good as the others. And you're talking about what is happening, not that the person is fundamentally flawed. So again, back to my example. If I'm working with someone who is speaking way too quickly, often a sign of nervousness, I'll catalog all the other things they're doing well. So, Samantha, your ideas are great. Your stories are wonderful. You're using your hands nicely. Your slides are great. There's one area where I think you could even be better. You're speaking too quickly. And when you speak quickly, it makes people perceive that you're nervous. It makes it harder for them to process your information. When you pause when you speak, it's kind of the punctuation for the ear. It's easier for people to understand you. So if you're speaking quickly, they will perceive that you're nervous, they will perceive that you want to hurry up and finish and sit down, down. They're not going to process your information as quickly as easily because you're not giving them time to reflect. And you're going to sound kind of monotone too, because it's all going to come out at the same speed. So what I want you to do now is let's do the same presentation and I want you to just focus on slowing it down. Focus on this one because you're doing all these other things well, let's just focus on slowing it down, putting in more pauses. Let's make it conversational. And then in my case, I can practice with them right away. I would video record it, play it back, and if I've gotten them to focus on just one thing, they'll typically solve the problem. Now, if I tell them, here's 10 things you're doing wrong and here's 10 suggestions, it overwhelms them and they just get flustered and they feel like their next speech is even worse. So regardless of what it is you do, whether it's customer service, whether it's sales, whether it's highly sophisticated aspects of engineering, don't overwhelm the employee or colleague you're trying to help. Instead, focus on one thing at a time. Give them an opportunity to try it and make sure that they understand it's not that they are just fundamentally flawed or too stupid or unskilled or untalented enough. It's just that they have to focus on making one specific improvement and you're there to tell them exactly what they need to do. It doesn't do any good to say, you know, you have an awful ugly voice. It's like fingernails on a chalkboard. There's nothing anyone can do with that. If someone comes to me and says, well, tj, you got really ugly hair, there's nothing there. You shouldn't be giving presentation. There's nothing I can do with that. Now there me. If you are a casting director and you are casting someone to be the 21 year old heartthrob, and I walk in, well, obviously I'm not qualified for that, but in that case, I'm not your employer employee. It's a casting relationship that's completely different and there's no reason I should expect you to be nice and easy with me there. An employee relationship in the workplace is different. That's why you have to be honest and you have to be direct. But you have to use kid gloves. You have to Be gentle with it. Because if you humiliate someone, if you overwhelm them, if you depress them, you're going to make the problem worse. You're going to make them even less productive. And that does not work. So let's go through the steps. So far, you've told them what their strengths are, a lot of them. You've isolated one specific area that needs to improve, as opposed to one area where you're awful, isolated that one area that needs to be improved. You've given them highly, highly specific tips, practical tips that are actionable so they can do it. Then you give them space. You give them time to do it, whether it's stepping back and waiting for more customers to call or seeing how they interact with other colleagues who report to them. You give them some time to try to implement the suggestions. Then you give them another critique. Ideally, it doesn't happen every time, but ideally there has been some progress. Now, if someone is 50% better, you have a choice. You could just harp on them and say, well, you're still doing this wrong half the time. Time. Far better to say, huge improvement. You've solved half of the problem, and it only took us a few minutes. That means we can solve 100% of the problem with another five minutes on this. So I don't want to sound like Mr. Positive Thinking and everything is always great. That's not it. But human beings simply don't like negativity. They don't like criticism. And anyone who tells you differently is just wrong. They're going to react much more favorably with positive reinforcement rather than negative reinforcement. So if you see any improvement, focus on the improvement. I'm not saying Forget the other 50%, sweep it under the rug. No. But first of all, catalog the improvement improvement. Catalog the strengths, catalog exactly where things have gotten better, and then try it again. Try to do this as often as possible. Now, with what I do, it's relatively easy because we can just practice another speech for three minutes and videotape it other times. If you're trying to help a colleague be better at mentoring other people you might not know for a couple of months. So you've got to adapt your criticism and the prescription for every single environment in your own workplace. But the basic principle applies. You've got to give people specific feedback that they can act upon and then have some way for you and them to measure it where you can both feel like, this is fair, this is fair, and ideally, the person sees some improvement, then what's important is to put it all in perspective. Ideally, it's a situation where you've solved the problem and they're now doing a whole lot of things well, and they're in a very solid position in the workplace in the particular environment where you are. So again, back to my example. When I'm working with someone, helping them with their public speaking skills or their media skills, and they've followed the one suggestion I've asked to improve. If there's other areas to improve, we'll do those too, and ideally make progress every time. But then at the end of the training, I'll summarize and say, hey, you started off really strong here. Now we're strong in these areas. Put it all together. You are a strong and forceful communicator. You are ready to be a master communicator. This is fantastic. Good luck. And it leaves them on a high. It leaves them feeling good, but it also leaves them actually good at this particular skill. Not every single skill in the workplace is as easily solved as that, but the general process does apply. So again, to recap, focus on someone's strengths before you criticize. Then isolate the criticism one at a time. Once you do that, tell them exactly what they can do to get better. Give them an opportunity to do it, critique it. Figure out if they made some improvement. Give praise, in fact, lavish praise, when they've made improvement. Tie it all in together at the end of how everything has been elevated and they're even a more valuable asset to the organization. Do that and you are going to be in solid shape. You will be a better manager and you are going to have a more productive and a happier workforce of people who work for you, work with you, and collaborate with you. If you want even more tips on this and homework assignments and the ability to get feedback directly from me, ask questions, then please sign up for the course course below. It's my online course on workplace communication, how to criticize employees effectively to create more positive change. So please click on the link below and you can even see there's a discount for you available there as well. I'm TJ Walker with Media Training Worldwide. Thanks so much for joining me and I hope you have a happy and productive workforce.