TJ Walker explains why people stay silent in large online meetings: biological fear of public exposure. He recommends pre-briefing specific attendees with prepared examples, collecting questions by email beforehand, and personally seeding participants to reduce pressure and boost engagement.
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We've all been there. You talk to a colleague, 101. They're interesting, they're giving great examples that the entire group really needs to know they could benefit from. But now you're talking on Zoom or some online platform and you've got more than 40 people on, all at the same time, nobody wants to say anything. They're sort of hanging you out to dry. You're trying to be a good moderator, you're trying to be inclusive, you want to bring people in. You've asking questions, crickets. You do a poll. Nothing. You call on people by name and you get one word answer. These are the same people that over the phone or a one on one chat, FaceTime, they got great examples, great case studies, they've got fantastic information that your colleagues need to hear, but they just clam up when there are 40 people all listening or watching at the same time, or all on the screen on Zoom or Microsoft Teams. What do you do to make these online meetings more interesting? Especially if you feel like you've tried everything and nothing really works. First of all, let's back and realize what's causing this. As human beings, we are biologically programmed to fear speaking in front of crowds. Evolutionary biologists believe this is a defense mechanism. It's for our own safety. Because tens of thousands of years ago, if you're on the savannah and you pop your head up and people can see you from everywhere, saber toothed tigers, other predators, if you're visible, they can run, get you, attack you, kill you and eat you. So not being seen is a great defense mechanism. Kept our ancestors alive. So it's a good thing that as human beings, we were programmed that way. But unfortunately, in the modern world, in the modern business world, this doesn't help us at all. Because nobody is going to see you on Zoom, ask a question and then come attack you and eat you and kill you. No, they're not going to. Instead, it's missed opportunity. You have an opportunity to share an idea, show your expertise, demonstrate your leadership. And nobody sees it because you keep it all bottled up inside. So that's why people are quiet. They're feeling the tension, they're feeling nervous. Now, they might not be aware of it, they might not admit that they're actually afraid, afraid to speak in front of 40 peers, but they are. So how do you deal with it? If you want to be more successful, then improve your communication skills. The best way to do that, smash the subscribe button right now. Here's my recommendation. If you've tried to engage people. You've asked questions, you've done a poll, you reference them, you call someone by name, and you're just not getting much. Go to the next level. Before your meeting starts, go to certain colleagues and say, okay, Samantha, you told me that great case study about that client you helped last week in the meeting. About 10 minutes in, I'm going to be talking about this theme. I'm going to call on you. I need you to tell me everything that you told me over the phone last week. I need you to share it with a group. So I'm giving you a day's notice. Please be prepared. I'm really counting on you. Can you do that? Typically, what is she going to say? She's going to have to say yes. At least now she can prepare, she can do some notes, she can practice if she wants to. But now when you call on her, you can say, you know, Jane's been working on this problem. She has a fantastic success story that she shared with me the other day and I want her to share with all of you right now because I think we can relate to it. That builds her up, takes some of the pressure off, but also keeps pressure on because people realize she can't just give a one word or one sentence answer now. So you can do that. You can essentially seed the field. You can let people know in advance you're going to be calling them. It does take a little more work on your part, but it also means less work for your next meeting. Because if you're trying to get conversation going and you've got an hour long meeting, if you have to do all the talking because everyone's afraid to say anything, that's a lot of work for you. It's tough for you and it's boring for other people. By doing some preparation in advance, they take a phone call, may take a little zoom call, may have to FaceTime one of your colleagues, a few more emails, but let them know you need to hear from them. Meetings that are just monologues are not interesting. They're typically not productive. And it's a great way to have people tune out. So you want to encourage people, you want to engage people. You can also send out emails, either a mass email or individual email to people before the meeting, asking them what questions they have. And then during the meeting you can say, jim, you sent us a question earlier this week. Can you tell us what it is? Now? They can't very well say no to that. They know they asked you a question. That can be a more Direct way. Way. Because here's what happens. If you just call on people and all of a sudden they're thinking, oh my gosh, 40 of my peers are looking at me. They're going to feel nervous. They might not be aware of being nervous, but they're going to feel nervous. Their brain shuts down, Their ability to have recall is diminished. So if someone emails you a question in advance, write back to them and say, that's a fantastic question. That's a question that everyone else in our group meeting on Thursday afternoon can relate to. So be prepared. I'm going to say, what questions are there? And I'm going to say, jim, you had a question. You sent it earlier. Share with the group that question. If they know in advance, you're going to be asking them to say the question. They know that you know there's a question there and you both have seen. Gives them time to prepare and they don't really have any wiggle room. There's not an easy out. And this way it's easier for them, it's easier for you. So your meetings can go from sort of an awkward situation where everyone is looking at you and you feel like humming, humming, hum, I'm out here, I'm dying, folks. To an actual meeting, constructive group conversation where everyone is engaged because that's what you want.
