Derrick Baskin and LaChanze star in a comedic sketch where they kidnap her and try to force her to promote the Broadway musical Memphis. The absurdist bit is mostly improvised, with repeated lines, an orange in a crotch, and meta-jokes about Broadway awards.
Chapters
Welcome back to our Apples and Oranges Arts Throwback Thursday video series. Today we go to part 2 of our Memphis trilogy. Today we follow Derek Baskin as he brings some new friends into our saga.
Hey, Jester! No, uh, oh, I'm sorry, Titus.
No, Derek.
Derek?
Yeah. Hi, LaShawn! Wow, it's so good to see you.
How you doing? Good, good to see you.
Wow, LaShawn! My goodness, what are you doing here?
I'm meeting James.
You're meeting James? Oh, okay. Hey, listen, I can take you inside. He's probably right inside.
Oh, okay.
Yeah, yeah, here.
Great.
Awesome. All right, let's go in. Oh my God. Oh my God. D? Oh my God, man. What's wrong with you? Oh my goodness.
D?
Oh my goodness. What's wrong with you?
Derek kidnapped LaShawn.
You did what?
He kidnapped LaShawn.
What'd you do that for? I can't breathe, man. I can't breathe.
I am not part of this plot.
Why did you kidnap LaShawn?
Hey, man.
You kidnapped Annabelle!
I am not going to jail.
What is the problem? Who you thinking?
That was a skit. We planned that out.
Okay, B. I'm not going to lose my insurance weeks.
I'm going to go check in. I'm going to go check in on LaShawnce. Hey, uh, hey, Mrs. LaShawnce.
Hey. How you doing? I'm not doing too well right now.
I was just checking in on you to make sure everything is all right. Uh, you, uh— You want something to read, maybe? You know, I think I have something in here. You know what I got is hip-hop. I know how much you like hip-hop. I have this Japanese number game. It's called Sudoku. It's one of my favorites. And I have this puzzle that I did not finish.
Boy, I don't want to do any Sudoku right now. What is wrong with you?
I'm gonna take care of some things and— Miss LaShawn, I'll be right back. I'll just be right back.
You better not leave this room. Wait, come back here.
Yes, ma'am.
What am I doing in this chair?
Finish it.
Finish it. The what?
I'm just finishing my Sudoku, which you did not finish.
No, I'm not finishing your Sudoku.
I got something for you to keep your nourishment up. I got an orange.
You are not a bright young man. I thought you were talented. I really did. I saw The Little Mermaid. I saw it. I saw you in it.
Yes, ma'am.
What is this?
It's really good. It's juicy. It's probably real sweet.
You on medicine?
Yes. I have allergies.
You have allergies?
Yes. And I have acid reflux.
You got something else. You have more than allergies and acid reflux. Something's wrong with you. Get this thing off of me.
I can't.
Get it off of me.
Get it off.
Get it off.
I want you to go in there and use your Broadway influence. I want you to talk to her and just discuss some Broadway things. Keep her mind off what's going on. And then Derek and I will go in there and we will get her out. All right.
All right.
But I'm not going to jail. You're not going to jail.
That's not okay.
Yes, ma'am.
Everything is going to be all right. I have some water.
That's what I have.
You're going to spill that water. That's what you're going to do.
I still got the top on it. Look, I can't even reach that water, boy. Get that thing.
Mrs. LaChanze, you have a Tony. I believe you can figure that out.
Boy, you better—
Mrs. LaChanze, listen, you cold.
I look cold to you? Now I'm cold? I'm cold, I'm thirsty, I wanna read, I'm hungry. Get me outta here. That's what I want. I wanna get up outta here.
She cold, she cold.
Why don't you put that thing on the dresser?
Is that nasty?
You use it? Get it off of me, it stink. Get this thing off of me, boy.
I washed it last week and it's okay. Ain't nobody wash this. I washed it last week. I love you, Mrs. LaChanze. I love, I love, I just love your work, girl.
Now listen, we gonna go in there, And we're gonna be fine, okay?
You all right?
Yeah.
Good. I think I fell over.
Would you relax?
All right.
You owe me an iced coffee.
Hi. Hi.
Hi. My name's Mike McGraw.
Lashawn Smythes. Nice to meet you.
Hi. Nice to meet you. I'm really sorry about this.
Can you help me, please? Get out of this.
Yeah, I would like to help you. I really would. I can't do it. I can help you with this. Are you cold?
No, I'm not cold. I'm not cold. I'm not thirsty. I'm not hungry.
You want this?
No.
Sweetie, I just—
Let me get this orange out of your crotch. Sorry.
There you go.
And books.
Thank you, Michael.
You're welcome.
Michael.
Michael, yeah.
Thank you, Michael.
I just wanted to check in and see if you were okay.
Can you just help me untie them?
Just can't untie it until I talk to those guys and make sure that the—
Why? Are you in with them with this?
No, no, no. You mean in the kidnapping of you?
Yes.
No, no.
I'm in the show with them.
Yeah, you're in the show.
I'm not in with them. I just heard about it. And I just wanted to, like I say, I just wanted to come in and see if you're okay. I mean, I wanted to see if you're okay 'cause I just feel like, you know, we're sort of like simpatico in a way that, you know, we're both sort of Broadway people and, you know, we've both been nominated for Tony Awards and, you know.
I won a Tony.
I'm sorry, what?
I won a Tony.
I didn't hear what you said.
Well, yeah.
I have a Theater World Award. You have a Theater World? You don't have a Theater World Award, do you?
Yes, I did. Years ago now. God.
Well, enjoy your little stay. Derek!
That's not cool.
You guys are on your own.
A couple years ago. Mike! Michael! What do you mean we're on our own?
Look, laugh. Laugh.
Follow me. Follow me.
Hey, what's up? Hi.
Hey, James.
Yes, hi, honey.
What are you doing? What is going on? Listen, listen, listen, you met Derrick.
Oh yeah, I met your boy.
Listen, this is funny, this is a really, really funny situation.
This is funny.
Yeah, yes, okay, so about a week ago, I kidnapped, kidnapped, word kidnapped, I kidnapped Lin-Manuel.
Yes, you did.
And I made a rap about it for the show Memphis that I'm in. And so we were discussing maybe we should kidnap other Broadway people. And he, Derrick—
I kidnapped you, Memphis. I kidnapped you, Memphis. He took it the wrong way.
He took it the wrong way. He took it the wrong way. And we had discussed me calling you, you know, but I didn't get to it. And then he just took you, so please, please don't—
And I never got a call.
No, no. All we wanted you to do was look on camera and just say, "Please come see Memphis." That's it.
Untie me, and then I will say what?
Look into the camera and say, "Please come see Memphis," 'cause we figured that, you know, once your fans saw it, then they become our fans.
Yes.
Come see the show.
Please come see Memphis.
Yes, you're sorry.
Okay, untie me.
I see, I told you she was a mechanic. He's really good.
Let's do it now. Let's do it now.
Just pull the string. It's a bow. Just pull the string.
It's a bow?
What?
You mean all this time you had me in a—
I made a bow. With yarn?
You piled up in yarn? Lord Jesus.
Please come see me.
We just want you to turn around, stand between us, and then look at the little camera.
I have set up a camera.
Yeah.
Okay, where's the camera?
It's over there.
Great.
You taping the whole time? I think so.
Okay.
Hi, please come see Memphis. I'mma cut you.
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