Have I Still Got the Magic, Khan!!! The Musical!!! | Fall 2019 THEatre ACCELERATOR

What do we do, sir? Sir? Admiral? Shit! I used to live for a moment like this, to face the abyss and give it a kiss. When the heat of the pan makes you perspire and there's no way out but into the fire. Standoff! Enemy squads! Puzzle, impossible odds, trick up my sleeve, I win again. But that was all back then, now you're old. But have I still got the magic today? Or has it crusted and rusted away? I've got the highest rank, and who else has my clout? Should I feel doubt? He's coming about. Now we're gonna find out. Can I dodge tradition one last time? Outlast the Reaper? Past my prime, will the skin of my teeth hold tight? Can I try it again? Have I still got the magic I had back then? Have you still got the magic that you had back then? Say, Khan, if it's me you want, if you gotta have a piece of this, take me, kill me, I don't care, but spare my crew, it's only fair. No tricks. Tricks? Tricks? No tricks. Ha ha ha ha! I'll beam aboard, but only me, and as for my crew, you'll leave them, big deal? Hmm, I'll kill you once you beam aboard, but first I'll need a wee bit more. Give me all the records that exists regarding Project Genesis. Genesis? Genesis? Genesis? What's Genesis? Oh, you want to play games? What's Genesis? Come now, James. What's Genesis? Shall I fire again? Oh, Genesis. Well, let's find it then. We'll need a little time. Time? Well, you certainly gave us plenty of time to live out our days after Seti Alpha 5 became a barren desert. Ha! I had no idea. Well, you didn't stop by to check, did you? Surely there's some way I can make this up to you. Oh, there is. Transfer all information on Genesis to the Reliant, and then beam aboard so I can very slowly kill you. You have 60 seconds, starting now! I used to live for a moment like this. When things were amiss but secretly blissed, I'd take a breath and just like that pull a last-minute miracle out of my hat. Ambush! No escape. Made it out without a scrape. Pulled it off quite a lot when I was young and hot. Now you're not. But have I still? I still got the magic today. I mean, if this hair were real, it'd be gray. I wanted youth again, to feel alive and spry, and now I do. Do, do, do or die! Can I dodge perdition one last time? Outlast the Reaper? Past my prime, gonna throw a Hail Mary and go! Amen! I hope I still have the magic I had back then. Hope you still have the magic that you had back then. I say con. What? We'll need a sec to boot the dash. The bridge is smashed, windows crashed. I wanna help ya, but we're kinda stuck. 45 seconds. Aah! We're a sitting duck! A space piñata! No power, weapons, speed, nada! Spock, quick! What to do? What's my edge against these jerks? Khan's highly intelligent, ruthless too, and whatever he tells his crew, they'll do. But the difference between the Khans and the Kirks is you know how Starfleet works. Keep nodding as if I'm complying. What? Just fake it before we explode. Meanwhile, pull up the Starfleet record of Reliance Wi-Fi code. Hurry. A backdoor hack? It's all we've got. Ready for decryption. Take it, Spock. Spock bop-a-loo-bop-a-spock-bamboo. Admiral, we're finding it. Tick-tock. I've confirmed the code with the database. It's LEET, all uppercase. I don't understand. You have to learn the entire ship from stem to stern. The ins and outs, each and every quirk. Not just the rules, but why things work. Remote control has been switched on. Can you send it now? Oh, that I can! Let's dodge perdition one last time, one last adventure. Past my prime, one final play to save this crew. Give it to him, Spock. Our shields are down! What?! Raze them! I can't! The name's James D. Kirk. Starfleet. True blue. I beat the goddamn Kobayashi Maru. Khan, you fell for a switcheroo. 'Cause I still got the magic and it's coming for you! Fire! Fire! Fire! Fire! Fire!