Kieran Culkin wins an Oscar and reminds his wife Jazz of a backstage deal: she promised a third child for an Emmy win, then a fourth for an Oscar. He tells the story with humor and asks her to "get cracking" on their family plans.
I love you, Jaz. This is. I have to thank my wife, Jaz, for absolutely everything, for giving my favorite people in the world. This is. Please don't play the music, because I want to tell a really quick story about jazz.
This was so smart of him to tell the producers to not play the music, that he was going to be telling a quick story because, you know, the producers then are there in the. In the back room, and they have their finger on that button waiting to press it so the music plays. But what they're really looking for is to see is it actually a good story and I should let this go. And sure enough, ends up being a great story.
About a year ago, I was on a stage like this, and I very stupidly, publicly said that I want a third kid from her because she said if I won the award, I would. She would give me the kid. Turns out she said that because she didn't think I was going to win, but. And people came up to her and were like, you know, really annoying her, I think. I think it got to her. But anyway, after the show, we're walking through a parking lot. She's holding the Emmy. We're trying to find her car. Emily, you were there, so you're a witness. And she goes, oh, God, I did say that. I guess I owe you a third kid. And I turned to her and I said, really? I want four. And she turned to me. I swear to God, this happened. It was just over a year ago. She said, I will give you four when you win an Oscar. I held my hand out, she shook it, and I have not brought it up once until just now. You remember that, honey. You do. Okay, then. I just have this to say to you. Jazz, love of my life, ye of little faith. No pressure. I love you. I'm really sorry I did this again. And let's get cracking on those kids. What do you say? I love you. I love you. And Booba. I love you, 52.
And there it is. Great job on the award, Kieran. And also, nice speech. It felt natural. It was emotional.
It.
It was a roller coaster of emotions. It was personal while also being hilarious. Only because the bleep parts and the too many random side comments that distracted. I'm going to give it 3.5 mics out of 5. Until next time, this is Tom.
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