Trystan Trenberth argues your circle determines your growth. He left a burnout tech job for real estate partnerships, renovated 18 houses, lost 70 pounds, and credits coaches and aligned peers for the shift. He challenges you to audit who you're around.
Please help me welcome to the debex stage Tristan Trenberth. Imagine you're sitting around a campfire with a bunch of friends. The fire represents your potential, your goals, your dreams, and your ambitions. Some people toss logs under the fire, fueling it, making it burn brighter. Others throw wet blankets on, dampening the flames. My question to you is, who are you sharing your campfire with? I believe most of us stick with familiar people. Childhood friends, family and co workers. They feel safe and familiar. We assume that proximity equals loyalty and loyalty equals progress. But often it's these relationships that hold us back. A few years ago, I felt stuck. I was in a tech career, and the work just felt like a series of mundane tasks. I worked days, nights and weekends with an unpredictable schedule that interrupted plans of my family and left me burnt out. I was constantly worrying about disappointing my kids. If work was the call again, I was too busy to worry about health. I stopped working out and became complacent about what I was eating. And I gained weight. This was my life. But what made things worse was that those around me felt the same way. I felt like I was in a swamp, being drawn down by the negativity. My circle was comfortable but complacent. I began to see that this reinforced the belief that I was stuck. I didn't realize at the time, but I had surrounded myself with wet blankets. Surrounding ourselves with misaligned individuals drains our energy, slows our growth. Whether it's a family member who dismisses your goals or an old friend who just wants to talk about old glories. I led a real estate investing group here in Arizona, giving advice and partnering with people on their first deals. I found myself giving a lot of time and energy to this community. However, very few were as committed as I was. In the same way, the more I tried, the harder it seemed to get. They were getting what they needed from the relationship, but sadly, I was not. It became clear I needed to change my circle of influence and better align with those that I surrounded myself with. So what if I, instead of passively maintaining relationships, actively curated them? I wanted to surround myself with people that challenged me, inspire me, and help me see new opportunities in my own life. I've seen the power of intentional relationships, realized I needed allies to see my vision, but also highlight my blind spots. So I sought out coaches, joined masterminds, and cultivated friendships with those who were further down the path that I had chosen. The change was transformative. I partnered with people who helped me shift from a negative mindset. I was living in to a more positive one, resulting in me moving from full time employment to becoming self employed. I haven't looked back since I met my friend Chris through a real estate investment group. He became a huge part of my circle of influence. We partnered on my first fix and flip. I found the deal. He brought capital, the contractors and I earned what I learned. This transformed the way that I thought about earning revenue in such a different manner from exchanging my time for money at my W2 job. Thanks to those who I chose to align with, my mindset changed gave me new ways to look at how business can be done. I went from working in that mundane, unpredictable environment to work for myself, building my own dreams instead of somebody else's. In a short time, I renovated 18 houses and I now own several properties which give me passive income, which means I don't have to work so hard to make money because I could see the power of who I aligned myself with. In January, I hired a dietitian with his guidance and my intention. The first week I lost a few pounds. Then it was ten pounds, twenty pounds. Ten months later, I've lost seventy pounds. More recently, I began running. At first I struggled to run for a few minutes, but I pushed on running longer and further. This week I'll run a total of 30 miles because I'm training for a half marathon in January. It's punny. You see, goals once seemed so distant, but they became attainable because I changed my circle of influence. And those people in my circle saw my potential and hold me accountable. There was an entrepreneur I collaborated with. He spent years in the trenches of his business, barely scraping by. It wasn't until he joined a new peer group of like minded business owners that he found new partners, strategies and even investors. Within a year, his revenue tripled. The only thing he changed, his circle of influence. See, when you intentionally curate your network, you accelerate. These people act as catalysts, opening doors, providing guidance and lifting you when you stumble. They help you maintain focus on your goals, especially when you face setbacks. So here's my challenge to you. Take a hard look at the people that you spend most time with. Ask yourself, do they inspire me? Do they challenge me? Do they support my goals? If any of those answers is no, it's time to make changes. Some people may be family or longtime friends. You don't have to cut them off, but you can set boundaries and you can redirect that time to those who uplift and accelerate you. Remember, longevity doesn't equal alignment. Reflect on whether these relationships are served to help you grow and make choices accordingly. I spent years giving time and energy to those who didn't see my vision and reciprocate my effort. It left me drained and questioning my path. When I shifted my focus and surrounded myself with like minded individuals, everything changed. My goals became clearer, my growth accelerated and I began to live my dreams. As you guys leave here today, think about your campfire. Who is adding fuel to your fire and who is dampening it? You have the power to choose. Your success, your dreams and your future depend on it. Thank you.
